He didn't return to the apartment for four days, sleeping in the abandoned Hale house and living out of his car.

During training Boyd would give him strange looks but he swiftly rebuffed any attempt at conversation. Peter was missing, and no one had seen or heard from him. He drove the pack relentlessly.
They needed to be strong, to be prepared. And it was his responsibility to spare them no weakness until then. Especially with Ryder still after them.

Training kept him busy, kept him focused.

The nights were different.

There was no protective spell here, nothing between him and his demons. Instead of nightmares, his own mind twisted itself into shape after sleepless shape: Laura's face. Kate laughing. The glare of fire in the night.

And woven between it all like a whisper of black lace, Bonnie Bennett and the way her olive eyes had looked at him before she put her hand over his heartbeat.

He wanted to forget he'd ever kissed her, touched her, been near her. He wanted to bury his face in her hair until her scent was all he knew.

Derek knew, though he ignored, that he'd been attracted to her since he saw her again. If it was just harmless attraction he'd be fine.

But he actually liked, and now missed, other things about her. The shadows at the corners of her mouth when she smiled. Her fierce belief in her powers and the way it kindled his own pride in being an Alpha.

She'd given him her trust all those years ago in a dusk-shadowed forest, when they were both different people with different lives. And she hadn't taken it back, despite how much time had wrung them both through.

Why

The thought of her answer was as alluring as her scent and lips and feel of her quickened breath against his mouth.

But he'd distrusted and buried his desires for so long that unearthing them was fucking terrifying. How could he force them into the light, her light, without knowing how the shadows had twisted them?

Bonnie almost considered dumping Derek's duffel bag on the steps before climbing them determinedly.

Derek Hale might like to hide, but she was done running. She'd left Mystic Falls determined to make a change, to look her decisions in the eye knowing she and she alone was responsible for them.

The door was ajar and she let herself in quietly.

"Hello? Derek?"

She exhaled an exasperated huff and dropped the bags. Dust floated in the ashen light around her as she turned to go.
"You didn't have to bring my stuff."

She caught the white starkness of his cotton undershirt as Derek appeared from the shadows.

"Yea well, I've done a lot of things I didn't have to lately," she bit out, "It's called not being a dick."

"You came all the way out here to call me a dick?"

"No," she indicated the bags, "Your stuff was taking up space."

He raised an eyebrow, glancing down at the small duffels, "That?"

Bonnie averted her gaze from the muscled outline of his shoulders and chest, the glint of his hazel-grey eyes like broken glass pieced together. All sharp edges and surprising corners of light.

She sighed. "I don't have time or space for your shit, Derek. I'm done guessing."

"I never asked you to start."

"Then why did you- ," she turned to the door, swallowing hurt, "Never mind."

Why did she keep making herself vulnerable when he was obviously fine not giving a shit?

He moved noiselessly to stand behind her and she faced him, biting off an incoherent curse of frustration.

"Why did you kiss me back?"

His nostrils flared briefly but he said nothing. It was unfair how much the unspoken words flashing across his face could affect her.

"Reading my heartbeat again? Here's a clue Derek, if you wanna know someone you can just fucking ask them."

"Oh it's that easy huh? I just ask and you pour your heart out, no conditions or complications?" his hand slammed into the door beside her shoulder.

"Dammit Derek why the hell can't you just-,"

"Why would you do that Bonnie? Why the fuck would I think you would?"

"Because I thought we were-,"

"What?"

There was only the sound of harsh breathing and her own blood pounding in her ears. She barely felt the runaway tear. "Fuck you and your obtuse ass, Derek Hale. I at least thought we were friends." she managed softly.

For a few seconds he blinked, as if she wasn't real, then made to move away.

Bonnie was half-turned when his hand caught her waist and slammed her against the door.

There was no hesitance in his lips this time, only the commanding hunger she remembered from before, stealing the air from her lungs, making her fingers curl desperately against his shirt in search of answers.

"Derek," she caught her breath when they parted, and his hands slid under her top, lifting her easily so they were eye-to eye. "Stop playing with me-,"

He braced her against the door, her ballet-flat dangling off her toes "Does this feel like I'm playing?" he whispered between his teeth. The shoe fell off, and her foot wrapped around his leg. He pushed forward so their hips fell in place and Bonnie felt him hard against her thigh.

Nope definitely not playing.

His black hair was soft between her fingers, a shocking and sensual contrast to the graze of stubble against her jaw and the hard press of muscled torso her. Derek's hand travelled up her belly to graze the underside of her bra, resting there almost teasingly while his hot breath caressed her neck. The practical side of her brain was mumbling feebly that they should stop, assess, talk about this. The rest of her was becoming increasingly frustrated by the layers of clothes between their skin.

His thumb brushed her lace-coated breast, lightly, like a question, and she moaned a soft assent against his hair. Hot fingers slid under the lace, finding her nipple already taut with anticipation. Bonnie rolled her hips almost involuntarily so his erection stroked the burning juncture of her thighs, and a groan shuddered through him.

She got her hands under his shirt with a small sigh of satisfaction, scraping her nails across his chest and abdomen, her skin humming with the pleasure of contact. Then her wrists were pinned above her head and through hazy eyes she saw his own flash for a moment - not quite anger, not quite fear - before his mouth claimed hers again, using his free hand to hold her ass in place while he rocked there.

Her trapped fingers clenched and unclenched, craving his skin. Bonnie bit his lower lip, keening, but he only tightened his grip on her wrists, tilting her hips slightly so his hard length grazed her exactly where she needed through her jeans.

When he stopped moving she made a soft protesting sound, then realized his head was tilted, listening alertly for something. His chest rose and fell breathlessly.

Hazel-green eyes swivelled on hers, "Someone's coming." He still held her. The hand at her wrists slid down her arm and across her shoulder, tangling in her tumbled hair. For a moment he seemed to be battling with himself. Then she felt a quick brush of lips against her hair before she was lowered gently to her feet. Bonnie gripped his arms for balance, seeking her lost shoe.

Urgent pounding rattled the door.

Derek's always known the power of the full moon. He talked about the bite being a gift, but on full-moon nights he felt it. His blood pumped with almost invincible vitality. He could hear a leaf fall in a thick forest. Smell the rain tucked deep inside clouds miles away.

Discern the candles burning behind Bonnie's apartment door before he let himself in.

What the...?

A dozen or more candle-flames floated in the air, and Bonnie sat in the centre, legs crossed and eyes closed in concentration.

He could feel the pulse of her magic like a strong, steady heartbeat. The way the candlelight flickered across her shoulders and heart-shaped face caught his throat with a strange dryness.

Her eyes flew open and her jaw set. The candle lights flared and for a second Derek thought she'd hurl them at his head. Instead she took a deep, shaky breath and the flames raced back to the candles in a single flash.

Bonnie stood up, arms crossed.

"That was pretty neat."

Her green eyes flashed, but he could see her lip quiver slightly. "You were gone four days Derek."

"I had to. We needed to follow Ryder's trail while it was fresh."

"And did you find him?"

"No, but Peter says he'll turn up soon enough."

She frowned, "I don't know if we should just wait around for Ryder to turn up. What else did Peter say? Maybe Maya's found some new information on him. I could ask -"

"Bonnie," he cut her off, "I didn't come here to talk about Peter or Ryder or figure out an attack plan."

"No?"

"No...I wanted to see you."

Her lips parted in surprise, but her eyes remained guarded. She shifted her weight onto her right foot, waiting "Well, you've seen me."

Fuck. Dammit what am I supposed to say?

That he'd wanted to come here, come see her, as soon as he realized they weren't gonna find Ryder? That he'd thought of her constantly, even when he tried not to? That he wasn't even sure how she'd ended up in his arms the last time and he didn't know how to make it happen again?

She started gathering candles and putting them out.

"You keep doing this, Derek. Every time I let my guard down you run off and I have no idea what the hell is going on."

"I didn't run off -,"

Bonnie whirled to face him, eyes blazing, "I don't hear anything from you for four days after you...I mean we...," she trailed off, and he sensed the heat rising to her skin.

His knuckles tightened inside the leather jacket. He hated how lost he felt around her.

He didn't want to turn back.

"Look, I'm sorry, I -," he muttered, glancing up at her, "This isn't easy for me, Bonnie."

"You think this is easy for me?" I haven't felt this way about someone since-," she bit her lip,her voice snagging.

Derek closed the distance between them and she watched uncertainly, eyes wide and questioning. Her heartbeat thundered in his ears, insistent and enticing and terrifying all at once.
He was close enough to touch her.

"The last time I felt like this -," he could feel a muscle jump in his jaw, and he scowled at his feet, "It isn't an easy memory for me either."

She was burrowing her toe into the carpet. "Felt like what?" the question was a challenge but he caught the tremor in her voice.

There were too many words inside his chest, some fighting to crawl out, others trying to bury deeper.

Derek swore softly and covered her mouth with his, pushing his fingers into her hair and holding her face between his thumbs. For a moment her lips were passive against the deep and fierce entreaty of his own, then suddenly they were melting wet and sweet as liquorice and he breathed deep enough to fill his lungs with her taste.
Fuck if this was the last time she'd let him near her he was going to give her something to remember him by.

When they parted he felt the brush of her light hands at his waist. He held her face until her eyes opened slowly. "Oh."

"If you want me to get the hell out..," he muttered, nose and mouth buried in the curve of her neck where her scent lingered enticingly. His hands roamed her small back, drinking the feel of supple skin.

Bonnie's arms wrapped around his neck,"What if I ask you to stay?"

Derek searched her face until a small smile appeared there. Then her eyes darkened and she bit her lip.

He kissed her again. She unzipped his jacket and pushed it off his shoulders and he let go of her hips to toss it away. His hands back fastened on her hungrily, drawing her hard against him.

Somehow they were against the wall, and Bonnie arched her hips, her cotton skirt too much and too little at the same time. Derek couldn't quite remember pushing her camisole straps off but his nostrils flared at the sight of her breasts barely covered in lavender lace. They rose and fell with her rushed breathing. When he unclasped her bra and caught the tight nipple between his fingers she gasped into his mouth, bucking. He grabbed her ass and lifted her slightly so the apex of her thighs dragged along his erection and Fuck he could feel her wet heat and smell her arousal as she mumbled his name while grinding into him.

With a soft curse he hoisted her in his arms.

"Derek," she gasped, laughing, hair tumbling all over his face, full of that spiced cinnamon perfume he was beginning to think of as characteristically Bonnie, "I'm a Bennett witch, not some wilting flower."

Without breaking his stride he kissed her hard, taking her lower lip between his teeth. "Good. Next time you can carry me."

****

The moonlight was drowsy from their breath, saturated with panted words

Derek sat her on the bed and Bonnie caught the flash of crimson in his eyes as he knelt to slide her damp underwear off. Her fingers curled into the bedspread She was soaked with anticipation. His breath ghosted up between her thighs, stubble scraping along the soft skin there and making her shiver.

Derek eyes were human again, grey-green like dawn in the forest. When he kissed her hip bone she saw the muscles in his shoulders tighten with restraint.

"Fuck," he breathed against her skin.

It isn't an easy memory for me either.

Something split inside her and her heart fell through.

Words dangled at the tip of her tongue -begging, aching words she'd never imagined herself saying. She'd held on tight for so long, walking the fine line between wilderness and safety. But the ground had started shifting long before she realized and now there was nothing between her and the reckless darkness of a forest sweeping her up so high and fast her breath struggled to keep up. Bonnie fisted a hand in his black hair and and and gave herself to the shadows shuddering inside her as his tongue and fingers stroked her cunt.
Her toes rose off the floor.
She came gasping and wet into Derek's mouth and his low moan of appreciation throbbed against her core. She was still shaking like forest leaves in a storm when his arms laid her down, his mouth trailing a path of kisses from her belly to her lips.

Bonnie dragged her nails up his powerful back and exulted darkly at the shudder that went through him

"You smell fucking perfect,"his voice was half-strangled in her hair.

He fucked her hard, like he was running out of time. Bonnie tangled fingers at his nape and his release rolled through him and she caught her name half-groaned in the curve of her neck and he was panting long and slow with time given back.

That was the first time.

****

His moon-sharpened senses were reeling with the heat of her skin, with the deepening flavors of her wetness as they ebbed and flowed in arousal. He could detect exactly where his touch was needed, but he liked to hear her whisper it, moan it against his lips, demand it with hands clawing at his back.

The second time, he pushed her hard against the wooden bed-frame, taking a long slow lick up from between her breasts to the curve of her jaw.

"Derek...hold on," she panted, shifting her hips, not quite ready yet.

He stopped moving, continuing to suck and kiss her neck, grasping those wonderful thick curls to tilt her head. Then he lifted her higher so she was at the edge of his cock and found her breasts with his mouth, rolling the tight buds over his tongue and relishing the low whimpers he drew from her.

Fuck, Bonnie, I could get lost in you.

He was starving for and feasting on her at the same time.

Then Bonnie was rocking against him, slick and hot and ready. The scent of her made him bare his teeth.

"Derek...," she panted, gripping his shoulders, rolling her hips, trying to make him move inside her.

"What?" he shook with the effort it took to hold still, stealing small sharp kisses.

"Dammit Derek, fuck me."

He lowered her onto his length slowly and they both groaned. For a moment they stayed there, his face against her damp throat, taking a deep breath. "Bonnie..."

"Derek...please..."

Then the storm plunged and he thrust savagely up into her, making the frame thud against the wall.

She cried out his name and he thought the dappled moonlight across her face was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

****

The third time was slow, and languorous. Time was a moth trapped and fluttering in a web of moonlight.

Every tip of her body was sharp with sensation. Bonnie lay on her side while Derek lifted her hair and kissed all over her shoulder-blades, running possessive fingertips up and down the pearls of her vertebrae.

She heard a drawer open and the sound of things being moved. When he touched her between her thighs his fingers were liquid coated and achingly gentle. She wanted to thank him but-

"Ohhh-," was all that came out as she moaned into his neck.

"Tell me when," Derek's mouth brushed her ear and she arched into his touch. Slow fingers coaxed her clit until she was writhing, heat flaring between her legs.

He rolled her on her back and she felt him slide carefully into her. "Fuck," the expletive was a ragged groan against her mouth as she raised her hips, taking all of him.

They moved together like dusk shadows through the waiting forest. His sweat-slicked skin sliding against hers was slow and soothing, teasing her, delaying the hot tightness building in her center. Bonnie cried out in protest when he stopped and withdrew from her.

"Come here," he said roughly, pulling her up into his arms. He pushed the hair from her face and held her there, mouth inches from her own. His eyes were pure green.

"Tease," Bonnie whispered. Derek arched an eyebrow, then turned her and lowered her gently on her stomach. He took her from behind, one hand sliding between her thighs to find her clit easily. With each stroke his fingertips inched her closer to release. He was whispering things, half-curses and moaned words. His face rubbed her shoulder, slowly, drunkenly. His breath was the forest shadows ghosting hot all over her skin.

She reached around and grabbed hold of his hair. The pleasure was coiled tight at her center and each rub and thrust pulled it a little looser until it unfurled all at once in a thousand directions and Bonnie couldn't remember what she cried out, only that her voice didn't even sound like her own.

They fell together through a slow rolling fire and lay there spent and mingled like ashes.

She may have whispered, "Stay with me."

The whole night was gathered in his eyes.

Bonnie dreamed of the sky through dancing leaves