Chapter 5

I sighed as I opened the front door to my parents’ house. 5 months had passed since the day Emma told me that she needed me to move out. I thought it would have been easier not living with her after a while, but it really wasn’t. I saw the kids everyday but it just wasn’t the same. I missed them, I missed our family, I missed Emma.

I entered quietly. It was well over midnight and my parents were probably already in bed. I didn’t want to wake them up.

I took off my coat and put it on the hanger at the entrance of the house. I took a shaky breath and shook my head trying to stop the tears from falling. Emma did not want to give me a second chance, at least not yet.

After putting the kids to bed that night, I stayed behind and talked to her about moving forward. The therapy sessions we were going to were doing us good. We were back to being friends, and Emma was returning to be her true-self. She was again the confident, smart, strong woman I fell in love with all those years before. But unlike the pre-divorce Emma, it seemed that she didn’t need me anymore.

It broke my heart to know that she could move on if she wanted. It broke my heart to know that she spent a lot of time with Taylor, who clearly had feelings for her. She promised me that there was nothing going on between them, but I could tell that something was bound to happen sooner or later. I could see her eyes shine when she talked about him...maybe it was just friendship on her part. I hoped so. I didn’t know what I would do if she fell in love with him.

I knew I wouldn’t be able to move on. She was the only one for me. I just wished that I’d remember that before asking for a divorce.

 I could feel her slipping away from my grasp. Yes, she was still in love with me, and probably a part of her would always be. However, I was afraid. And the fact that she rejected me that night was making me feel hopeless.

How could she be against a simple dinner, just the two of us, at her favourite restaurant? Why couldn’t she give us a second chance? We could date again and see where it was going to lead us....

I really needed to pick myself up and try to do my best to convince her that she could trust me with her heart. Hard task, if you asked me, but I never backed down. I wasn’t a loser. I was a winner, and I was going to win her back.

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“Come on, man. I think that’s all you should be drinking tonight.” Karl, my friend, tried to reason with me.

I nodded. “You’re right. I should come down.” I told him, my speech a bit slurred. It was Friday night with the boys.  Matt, Jennifer’s husband was there as well.

“I guess it didn’t go down well with her when you asked her.” Matt said sadly.

“Nope. It was a disaster.” I whispered. I looked at my empty glass.

“Keep trying, man. We all know that she still loves you. She’s just afraid? Can you blame her?” Karl patted me on the back.

“Of course not.” I snapped. Gosh, I was a wreck.

“Do something, man! Pursue her, court her before that Taylor gets her heart. You should start by organising a outing with her and the kids. Go to the park and have a picnic or something....take them to the cinema, whatever. Just wake up and plan something.” Matt encouraged me.

“That’s actually a good idea.”Karl agreed.

“You can win her back. Just work hard for it.” He grinned. “Everything will be fine.”

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“Daddy, see how good I am at playing tennis!” Emilienne said enthusiastically.

Darcy and Emilienne were playing at our local tennis centre. Emma and I were assisting as they were playing for fun.

“You’re amazing, baby!” I encouraged her and she grinned at me.

Darcy rolled his eyes at his sister’s antics.

“They are really growing up fast.” I sighed. “I wish they could stay children a bit longer.”

She touched my hand tentatively. “I know. Darcy is going to be a teenager soon. I can’t believe he’ll be 10 in a few months. My babies are growing up.” She grinned. “I can’t imagine how you’re going to take the fact that our daughter will want to date when she gets older.”

I frowned. “I’m not going to take it well or bad because she’s not going to date anyone until she’s twenty if I have any say so.”

“Do I have to remind you that we got married when I was 20?” she laughed.

“Yes, but that was different.” I answered back.

“Of course it is, because it was you.” She grinned at me.

I huffed. “Fine. I don’t want her to marry young though. I want her to go around and see the world, like you wanted.” I smiled sadly. “I’m sorry I tied you up as soon as I could....”

“You really are something else, George. You kept pestering me to marry you. And you kept asking even when I said that we were too young. I said yes in the end only to shut you up!” she smiled.

“Yeah, I couldn’t accept no as an answer. I love you too much to get a no from you.” I said and she looked at me in surprise.

Years previously

It had been a few months since Emma and I were officially together. I was now back in Scotland  and I was missing her like crazy. I heard from her every day, but that just wasn’t enough. I loved being at my university, but the idea of staying one more year there without seeing her all the time really made me feel awful. I was grateful that the next fall she was going to move to Durham, which wasn’t so far from the Scottish border. However, I couldn’t wait to move to Durham as soon as I was finished with my degree. We could move to London once she finished studying. I did need to study for a law conversion course anyway, and I could do so at Durham.

I wanted to be closer to her, especially now that she was sitting her A2 exams. Thank Lord we were in June and I could leave as soon as I sit my finals.

I couldn’t wait for the holidays. We planned to go to Paris, Florence, Barcelona and Mykonos. Then we would part ways as she would go to Amsterdam with her friends to celebrate the end of sixth form, and I would return to London as an intern in a law firm.

Gosh, I missed my Emma. I missed her so much. I was glad that we hadn’t sealed the deal yet, otherwise I would be dead by now. A sample of her was going to hook me up forever. We hadn’t approached the subject of sex yet. I didn’t want her to feel like she had to do it. I wanted her to tell me when she was ready. However, I still hoped that we would make love soon, because I was dying here. I’d been sexually active since I was 15, and I was going through withdrawal. I would never cheat on Emma, so my only source of relief was my own hand, but that didn’t help much. I was horny as hell. Hearing her voice had the power to make me hard as a brick. And I felt dirty masturbating at the memory of the sound of her voice after our long phone calls.

Two weeks later I found myself hugging Emma from behind in front of the balcony of our apartment for a few days in Paris. The weather was nice and we had spent a lot of time sightseeing. Paris was truly an amazing city, and I knew Emma was going to love it. After all she was going to study history of art. We’ve been in so many churches I lost count. Notre Dame, Le Pantheon, La Saint-Chapel. She loved them all. I didn’t see the beauty in them, but I didn’t complain. I was happy as long as I was spending time with her.

I kissed her neck as she looked down on the streets.

“I love Paris.” She sighed in contentment.

“I love you.” I whispered in her ear.

“I know.” She said arrogantly.

I gently bit her ear. She turned around and glared at me.

I felt the familiar stirring in my loins. I smiled at her sheepishly, the desire in my eyes obvious.

She was now facing me. I hugged her close and I knew she could feel my erection in my jeans.

She smiled uncertainly at me, her irritation towards me gone in a second.

I kissed her tentatively at first, and then when I felt her respond, my kisses grew of intensity. I held her close, my arms around her waist as her hands were in my hair. I could feel her chest pressed against mine and I moaned in her mouth.

I picked her up, her legs now around my waist. I went back to our room and closed the balcony doors, my lips never leaving hers.

I laid her on the bed and looked at her in the eyes. They were full of innocence, nervousness and lust.

I took my shirt off. She took off hers. I was on top of her soon after, our kisses more and more intense.

I took my time undressing her, leaving butterflies kisses on her new exposed flesh. She wasn’t so patient. Her hands fumbled with my belt-buckle, her hands trembling at the same time, clearly showing how nervous she was.

I stopped her a second. “Emma, you know that we don’t have to make love, right? We can stop whenever you want.” I reassured her, even though I hoped she wasn’t going to.

“I really want you, George.” She told me, her voice low. She rubbed her legs together to alleviate her urges. “I really want to do this.” She licked her lips as she gave me the once-over.

I kissed her passionately once again before taking off my jeans and boxers at the same time.

Her eyes were perusing my body and she had this look of apprehension when she stared down south.

“I promise you that I will take it slow.” I told her, my voice dripping with emotion.

“I know. I trust you, George.” She relaxed a bit.

I did the best I knew how to please her. I prolonged foreplay as long as I could in order to make sure that she was wet and ready for me.

“Will you do something for me?” I asked her as I positioned myself at her entrance.

“What?” she moaned, breathlessly. She was still on a high after her orgasm.

“Will you do me the favour of marrying me, Emma?” I asked, serious.

“What?!” she asked incredulously.

I didn’t give her the chance to say anything else as I slowly entered her. I repressed the instinct to thrust into her roughly. I pushed slowly until the barrier broke. She cried out and held her breath. Her innocence a thing of the past. She tensed considerably.

“I love you, Emma. I do, I really do.” I told her as a single tear fell on her cheek. I kissed it, as I gave her time to adjust.

After a few minutes she nodded. That was the sign I needed before slowly and tenderly making love to her.

No words were spoken as we made love. I’d never felt like this before. If I had any doubt of Emma being the one, which I never had by the way, after making her fully mine I knew she was the one who was destined to be with me.

We both climaxed together, and I felt truly satisfied. Not only our bodies had connected but our souls as well.

She smiled at me as we faced each other in bed, her eyes never leaving mine as she caressed my cheek.

“Marry me.” I whispered.

“Yes, in the future, but not now.” She told me sincerely.

“Why not?” I asked, hurt by her rejection. “Don’t you love me?”

“Of course I love you, but we’re still young. I’m 17, George. And although it is legal for us to get married, that does not mean that we are responsible enough to do so.” She reasoned.

I knew she was right, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be her husband and I wanted her to be my wife. 

My eyes were full of determination.

“Oh no, Mister. Don’t look at me like that.”

“We’re going to get married. I won’t rest until you say yes, Emma.”

More than a year had passed since we made love for the first time. She was at Durham and I had just finished my fourth year at St. Andrews. Finally, I was free, and I was soon going to move with Emma at Durham. I would work part-time at a law firm, and study.

Emma and I were house-hunting in Durham. We had seen a few one bedroom flats and we were having trouble deciding which one we were going to rent. We wanted it to be close to the campus and to the city centre.

“Emma, just choose one. I don’t care at this point.” I told her.

She glared at me. “Thanks for nothing, George.”

“Sorry.” I told her. “Which one you can see us in?”

“The one with the nice view of the city.” She said after thinking for a while.

“Done. Chosen, love.” I grinned at her and kissed her deeply. My hands travelling under her t-shirt to her bra.

We were in her dorm room. She shivered under my touch. I quickly unhooked her bra.

“I can’t believe that we’re moving in together.” I told her. “The only things that are missing are an engagement ring and a wedding band.”

She froze before looking at me, frustrated. “I was hoping you wouldn’t talk about this, George. I guess that was wishful thinking on my part.” She sighed.

“What’s wrong with me wanting to make a honest woman out of you? Do you want to live in sin?” I inquired, half-jokingly.

“Oh shush. You don’t give a damn about us living in sin. We’ve been swimming in ‘sin’ the day we had sex for the first time.” She glared at me.

“That is all your fault. I asked you to marry me that day before we even had sex, Emma.” I reminded her.

She huffed. “Can’t you see I’m too young to be married? I’m 18, now. Girls that get married so young are pregnant. I’m not pregnant and I really do not want to marry you now.”

Her last words hurt me more than she could imagine. I stopped touching her and distanced myself from her.

“George...I didn’t mean it that way. One day we will get married, but not now. Let me at least obtain my degree.”

“But that means two more years.” I whined.

“You just have to be patient.” She shrugged.

“You know me well enough to know that I’m not a patient man.” I warned her.

“I know, however, I really want us to wait.” She pleaded with me.

“I will wait...”

I hear a but somewhere.” She said cautiously.

“But we need to make it official. You will wear the engagement ring I bought for you. If you do not want to, I’ll stress you out so much that you will say yes to marry me straight away to shut me up.”

“But!” she protested.

“Marry me, marry me, marry me, marry me...” I kept chanting.

“Fuck off, George. Okay, okay, I will wear your ring. Happy?!” she glared at me.

“I am, for now.” I smirked at her before taking her t-shirt off.

“Will you allow me to go out with you on a date?” I inquired as we looked at our kids still playing.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that, George. It’s not like I don’t want to, but I really want us to wait before trying to date.”

“I want to court you, Emma. I’m not asking you to allow me back into your bed. Just a date. And if you hate it, I’ll...” I couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Don’t make promises you cannot keep.” She smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

“I love you.” I told her honestly.

She smiled and said nothing in response. She opened her mouth to say something but she quickly closed it.

“One friendly date.” She sighed in defeat.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I exclaimed excited before kissing her full on the lips.

She froze in my arms before tentatively responding to my kiss. I hugged her to me as my teeth bit her lower lip. She gasped and I took the chance to sneak my tongue into her mouth.

She pulled away embarrassed after she moaned.

“I’m sorry.” I apologised. “I didn’t....I was just...” I said hopelessly, afraid that she would now refuse to go out with me.

“It’s not like I didn’t respond. It takes two to tango, George.” She said, still embarrassed.

“Yeah, but I initiated the kiss. I’m so sorry, Emma.” I was sincere.

“I guess we’re going out next Friday.” She told me with a sheepish smile.

“I guess we are.” I grinned. “I love you.”

“I know.” She whispered.

I looked at her in surprise. She said she knew! That meant that she didn’t doubt my feelings for her anymore.

“I love you.” I repeated.

“I know, George. However, I still doubt that it’s enough in our case.” She sighed sincerely.

“One step at a time.” I said to her. “One step at a time.” I took her hand in mine and intertwined our fingers.