"No Derrick, I don't need you to come help me." Maya rolls her eyes. "Because Derrick, you don't even know anything about fashion." Raising her hand up to shield her eyes from the intensity of the heat, she momentarily regrets not driving to the mailbox. Gas prices are ridiculous, but right about now, so is the heat. "Derrick, being in a photo shoot for GQ magazine does not make you a model." She smiles, shaking her head. Her boyfriend is a pain in the ass at times, but his eagerness for wanting to "help" her with her portfolio is pretty damn adorable. "Look, I'll have the sketches done around," she pulls her phone away from her ear to look at the time. 2:00 "Six, maybe seven, no later than eight. After that, you're more than welcome to come over."

She places her thumb in her back pocket, "No, Kay won't be there. She....she has plans." Maya bites her lip, mentally cursing herself for almost revealing her roommates true whereabouts. She doesn't exactly like that Kay was is to Ricardo and Xavier at the same time, but she isn't Kay's mother. She can't control her actions. "You can stay the night too," Maya suggests slyly. Even though the two have only been official for two weeks, Maya and Derrick have grown significantly closer. Sure, they still argue 24/7, but behind closed doors and countenances, a bond has formed.

Reaching the mailboxes, Maya reaches in her back pocket and pulls out the mailbox key. Sticking it in #67, she switches the phone to her other either, holding it with her shoulder and the side of her face. She pulls out the mail, closing the box and locking it before ejecting her key. She quickly slides it in her back pocket before turning around to make her way back to her condo.

"Yes, we can order takeout Derrick," she laughs as she sorts through the mail. Bills, magazines, bills, flyers, bills-the usual. As she always does, she puts all of Ariana's mail together since the former roommate has not bothered to put in a change of address. "And no you can't-" she stops when she just so happens to notice the sender for one of Arianna's letters. He lips immediately go dry. She shouldn't. She can't. Hell, it's against the law. But, she has to. Ignoring her normal moral conduct, she quickly tears open the letter. Her eyes don't even get past the first three sentences. "Oh my God," she whispers, feeling her heart beat quicken. "Derrick, I have to call you back." She doesn't even wait for him to reply to hang up. Placing her phone in her bra, she sprints across the lot and to her condo.

"Kaydence!" She yells, slamming the front door behind her. "Kaydence!"

"I'm coming!" Kay shouts back, entering the living room with a bored look on her face. "What do you-" she stops, noticing the pained expression on her best friend's face. "What's wrong?"

"Look," Maya shoves the letter in Kay's hands before starting to pace back and forth.

Kay's eyes don't roam the letter long before her mouth drops, "Oh my God."

"That's what I said," Maya groans, placing her head in her hands.

"They can't be fucking serious!" Kay gasps, struggling to comprehend the words in front of her. "They can't do this! Can they even do this?"

"Apparently they can Kay," Maya rolls her eyes.

"We have to tell Arianna-"

"No!" Maya exclaims, jumping up off the sofa. "We can't."

Kay looks at her like she's crazy, "What do you mean we can't? We have to! She needs to know Maya!"

"And she will," Maya cuts her off. "Just not now."

"Well when Maya?" Kay puts her hand on her hip, "The longer we wait the harder-"

"Damnit I know Kaydence," Maya yells, frustrated with the situation more so than Kaydence. "I know," she sighs sadly. "But, you've seen how happy she's been lately. I haven't seen her this happy in....hell, I've never seen her this happy." She shakes her head, "I don't wanna ruin that and trust me Kaydence," she takes the letter from her. "This will ruin that."

"It's gonna destroy her," Kaydence says quietly.

"It's gonna destroy everything."

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Arianna POV

"Will you at least give me a hint?" I whine, poking my mouth out.

Colin shakes his head, "Naw."

"Why?"

"Because"

"Because why?"

"Because I said so that's why," he rolls his eyes. "You really aren't good with surprises are you?"

"No," I huff, crossing my arms. "That's why you should just tell me now and-"

"Ain't gonna happen baby," he laughs, glancing at me, before returning his eyes to the road. "I'm still not telling you."

I cross one leg over the other, "You piss me the fuck off."

"Naw, you do that all by yourself."

I don't reply.

Sighing, I lean my head against the window. We've been driving for over half an hour now. I hate surprises and he knows this so I don't know why he just won't tell me where the hell we're going.

"Is it at least-" he cuts me off.

"We're almost there," he looks at me out the corner of his eye. "That's all I'm saying."

I guess that's as much as I'm going to get out of him.

"Fine," I accept, leaning back in my seat. Looking down, I look over my outfit. It's pretty simple. I'm wearing black, high waisted shorts with a sleeveless, red and black plaid chiffon top that accentuates my cleavage and some red, wedge, Puma sneakers. My recently dyed, back to black, hair is down in it's natural wavy state. Not feeling like doing much makeup, I just have on mascara and lip balm. Hell, I don't even have my usual large handbag. I just settled for a small black clutch.

Pulling my sunglasses over my eyes, I lean my head back and sigh heavily.

I close my eyes and prepare to force myself to go to sleep. Surprisingly, I actually manage to drift off into a light sleep. Of course, this doesn't last long though.

"We're here," I hear him tell me. Opening my eyes, I realize that not only are we here, but Colin is standing, waiting, by my open car door. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I reach to grab my clutch, "You won't need that." I look at him, "Trust me. Just bring your phone if you want." Sticking my clutch under his seat, I hop out of his Escalade as he closes the car door for me.

Looking around, I realize we're in a parking lot, and directly across from us is a stadium. A huge ass stadium. My eyes search for a name. I find it. Levi's Stadium. That name sounds so familiar.....

"Come on," he places his hand on the small of my back.

I look up at him, allowing him to lead as we cross the street and head for the entrance.

"Colin," I frown slightly. "I don't under-" I stop as we enter the premises and all I see is Gold and Red. The name San Francisco 49ers or something alluding to that is everywhere I look. "This is your team's home stadium," I whisper, marveling at the grandeur of it all.

"Yup," he confirms quietly. He grabs my hand and gestures for the set of escalators, "Come on, I wanna show you around."

"Is that allowed?" I bite my lip, "I mean, you're the athlete, not me.
I don't want you to get in trouble..."

He laughs, "You're adorable as hell sometimes, you know that?" I glare. Puppies are adorable. Not 21 year-old women. 

"Yeah yeah," I mutter, rolling my eyes, but smiling softly.

He first shows me around the main part of the stadium, or, the ‘open to the public' areas. I take plenty of pictures, most of them photobombed by Colin, but it's not like I mind....

"Whoa," I exclaim as we reach a hallway. A hella long hallway. It's pretty damn dark too...

"Scared?" He smirks down at me.

"No," I suck my teeth. "I just don't like the dark."

"So, like I said, scared." He laughs.

"You're such a dick," I shake my head smiling.

Holding onto his arm, he leads us down the dark, wide hallways, passing up several doors before we finally reach wherever it is he's taking me.

Reaching for the double doors, he pushes them open.

"Holy shit," I breathe in awe. We're in the team locker room. Everything looks so....perfect. So uniformed. I look at all the stalls. "Where's yours?" I ask excitedly.

"Come on," he laughs, and walks me over toward the back, directly in the middle. Looking up, I see his last name, Kaepernick with his number next to it, highlighted by LED lights.

Smiling, I reach him my cell phone and climb up in the stall.

"Take a picture of me," I instruct, he laughs, but obliges. Making different faces, I pose for the pictures before climbing out. Standing in front, Colin laughs even harder as I kiss my bicep, mimicking his "kaepernicking."

"So you got jokes huh?" He teases, handing me back my phone.

"Naw," I cock my head to the side, stuffing my phone in my back pocket. "I'm just adorable, remember?"

He shakes his head and grabs my hips, "Come on, there's one last thing I wanna show you."

"Aight," I nod coolly. "One condition though," I smirk, pulling my phone back out and putting it in my bra. "Let me get on your back."

"Damn girl," he jokes. "First my lap, now my back, you can't get enough of the Kaep can you?"

"Boy, you are stupid." I giggle, as he bends his knees, prompting me to hop on. I wrap my arms around his neck and secure my legs around his waist.

We walk in silence as I lay my head on his shoulder, enjoying being this close to him. I swear, I can't seem to get enough of him. He's like my drug, my addiction.

As we reach the end of the tunnel, I notice light. Sunlight. I realize he's taking me out into the field.

"Let me down," I request softly. He leans down and I slide off. He walks onto the field and I follow suit. Looking around, I take in just how damn big it really is. I've only seen a few football games on TV and always thought the fields looked ridiculously huge and intimidating. Seeing it in person just confirmed my thoughts.

"This is it," He finally speaks after a few minutes of silence. "This is what I've wanted all my life. I use to dream of the day where I would be able to play football, not just as a hobby or at a high school or even college level, but as a profession. To be in the NFL." He looks over at me, as if questioning if I want him to continue. I smile softly, indicating my ‘yes'. "When I was first drafted by the 49ers, I remember coming here and thinking I finally made it. Whenever I have a lot on my mind or I just need to get away...."

"This is where you come," I finish for him. "I understand. This place, it's home for you." He sighs, his smile dropping slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I probably should have told you sooner, but..."

My own smile drops now, "But what? Colin, tell me, please?"

"I have to go out of town next week," he answers slowly.

"Oh," I say plainly. "That's okay. You had me worried for a second, thinking it was something serious." I laugh, "How long are you gonna be gone? A couple days?"

He hesitates, much longer than he should, "Three weeks."

Again, the smile is gone, "What?" I scoff sadly, "Three weeks?" 2-3 days? Okay, sure, no problem. Maybe even a week. But three whole freaking weeks? Just thinking about it has me already down.

"I know," he sighs, looking down at me. "I'd bring you with me if I could but you have school and work, and this is private training I had set up before I even met you." He explains, reaching out and caressing my cheek with his thumb. "It's not mandatory or anything, but I need to make sure I stay on my A game wh-"

"Colin," I interrupt him. "It's okay," I flash him a dimpled smile. "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I'm not upset. A little sad because this is gonna be my first time being away from you for so long and I will miss you," A lot. "But, this time apart will be good for us."

He looks at me quizzically, "It will?"

"Yeah," I shrug, stuffing my hands in the back pockets of my shorts. "You're a professional athlete babe. You're gonna be away a lot when the season kicks off again and even pre-season, training and whatnot." He smiles, a twinkle in his eye. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just, I can remember a time when I never thought I'd hear you refer to it."

I scrunch my eyebrows together, "It?"

"Us, having a future together," he replies softly.

Smiling, I look down, feeling those damn butterflies.

"Thank you Colin," I speak quietly, allowing my emotion to seep through. That doesn't happen often. Not at all. "For taking me here today, for sharing this with me." I look up and around the stadium, "I know how much this means to you. How much your career means to you. It's everything to you. Your heart. Your life." I smile to myself. His passion for what he does is so heartwarming to me.

"It was," he says quietly.

My head snaps to look at him so fast, I'm surprised I don't get whiplash.

"What?" I question even quieter, feeling my heart rate quicken.

"My career does mean a lot to me, you're right about that. Hell, at one point, it was all I cared about. Football had my heart; it came first before any and everything. Before anyone," he takes a step closer to me. "It is my love and my passion, and for the longest, I never thought that would or even could change."

"Colin," I murmur, looking down. Shit. Shit Shit. My eyes are starting to water, my throat is dry; I feel immobile.

"Then I met you, and everything seemed to change. You made me question everything. My career will eventually come to an end and when that day comes I want to be able to still have my other love, my passion, my everything."

"You don't-," I sniffle, allowing a tear to escape.

He lifts my chin and stares me directly in my eyes, "I love you Arianna. I love everything about you. You're beautiful as hell, you're smart, funny, a little low key crazy as hell," I roll my eyes, and laugh, wiping at my eyes. "But I don't care because that's what love is. You take the good with the bad. You accept their faults, their imperfections because that's what makes them who they are."

"Colin," I pull away from him, wrapping my arms around myself. "There's so many things you don't know about me," I cry, wiping at my eyes again. "You're such a good person. I'm not. I've made so many mistakes in my life....you don't deserve to have to deal with someone like me. You deserve the best-"

"You're right," a beat. "I do deserve the best, and you know what else? I'm looking at it."

I'm not even crying anymore. I'm fucking sobbing.

"You have no....idea," I breathe in deeply, trying to control my tears. "How fucking bad I want to stand here and tell you that I don't feel the same way about you that you do for me. That my feelings aren't that serious. That I don't care about you. I don't love you." I shrug, feeling my walls come down one by one. "But, I can't. I can't. Because my feelings are beyond serious. I don't even know what they are. I care about you more than I care about myself. I love being around you, near you, with you. I just want you. To be with you, now, and for as long as I can." I run my hand through my hair, "I can't say that I can't live without you because I can do that, but....I don't want to. I love you Colin. And I've tried my damn hardest not to, to push you away and you know what? I'm tired. I don't want to anymore. I love you and there's not a damn thing in the world that can change that. Not now. Not ever."

Pulling me into him, he cups my face, and kisses me.

Colin Kaepernick, the man I love, kisses me like it's the last time he'll ever see me.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Raymond is ready," I look over at Maya who's looking at me with an undecipherable expression.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just," she grabs my hand. "I just want you to know how happy I am for you Arianna. You and Colin are perfect for each other and I'm so glad you have him. You deserve to be happy chica."

I smile softly, "Thank you Maya." I hug her, "I want the same thing for you. I want you to be happy as well." I pull back and even though I know this announcement from her stems from the fact that I told her and Kay about what happened earlier today, I can't help but feel there's something she's not telling me. "Are you okay? You know I'm always here for you girl."

"I know," she smiles back. "I'm good. Now go on over there and get your money."

I laugh, and head over by the table where Raymond is.

"Sorry for the wait," I apologize, handing him back his copy of the receipt along with his card.

"It's no problem," he waves off my apology. "How is it?"

Huh? "Excuse me?"

He gestures to my wedding ring, "The married life."

"Oh," I blush and smile. "Perfect. It really is."

"I'm glad," he looks at me with such sincerity. "You deserve it. You're a remarkable young woman. I just hope your husband knows he's gotten a true gem."

I feel my mouth drop. What the hell? Is this National Tell Arianna How You Feel Day?

"Thank you. That means a lot to me. It really does."

"You're very welcome," He nods, and pulls out a pen to sign the receipt. "Same time next week?"

I laugh, "You know it. Have a good evening Mr. Waters."

"You too Ariana," he says meaningfully. I wave him a goodbye. Heading over to my other table, I take their order and bring it to the kitchen before returning to Raymond's table to remove his dishes.

I grab his receipt first and then my tip, my mouth dropping slightly at the six, crisp, hundred dollar bills. This man is too kind. Tucking them both away, I grab his glass. I reach for his plate when something on the seat next to the one he was sitting in catches my eye. Reaching over, I pick it up and realize it's a picture. When I turn it over, I swear, time stands still. The glass cup in my other hand drops, shattering into a thousand pieces on the floor. I hear shrieks around me, voices calling out to me, but I can't pay them any attention. I'm frozen. My eyes don't leave the picture. They can't. I just continue to stare at the picture of

me

as a little girl

with my mother.