To our best friends and siblings Shyla and Matheau,

Even writing this is painful and we both hope that you will never have to read this.  But Xamantha  and I knew that we are at a point in life where it is important to plan for the worst case scenarios.  The second both Tristan and Yseult were conceived they became the most important people in both Xam and I’s lives.  We are trying our hardest to live to love and protect them as parents.

In event that neither Xam and I can not serve that role for our children we ask for no one but you both take our places.  We know this is not something trivial to ask.  We did not come to this decision by a fleeting emotion from the heart.  We have talked through this with each other and we feel like you two can love and instill the values which both Xam and I believe in.  

Matheau, I have lived my life admiring you as my older brother.  More than just the customary admiration that a younger sibling has.  Even at a young age your character and your strength seemed above your time.  While everyone our age dismissed you as being too serious, all I could see is a passionate person who could see that big picture that is often blind to so many others.  Outside of your professional achieves (which I brag about anytime someone asked how you are) you are a compassionate man who knows how to take care of the ones he loves.  When I am tempted to ever get angry with you I’ll stop short because I can remember the many times you held me in your arms and let me cry at my darkest time.  Many people said I was too sensitive or even a sissy, but you knew just to hold me.  You show a fierce loyality and dedicated love which makes me honored to call you my brother.  It is also a blessing for my children to have such a man like you in their lives.  

Shyla, Xam honestly could not write anything about you without crying.  So I am doing all the writing in her honor.  For myself I couldn’t have hit a better sister-in-law jackpot.  You had led the way in embracing me into the Newton family the second I walked into the door.  I automatically understood at that moment why Xam called you the brave one.  I was ready to deal with all the family’s fear and apprehensions with Xam and I’s relationship and you boldly got in the way of that.  Your hug and kiss when I walked in that door helped release a breathe that I didn’t know I was holding.  Xam says that is just who you are.  Your love shows in the small acts that the rest of us don’t think is important.  You are an endless servant.  Your love and fiercely and protective.  For someone so small your presence dominates a room.  Xam always admired your rebellious spirit.  You were willing to take a spanking if it meant you were standing up for what you believed in.  Our children can’t quite put into words their obsession with you, but I think they see your energy and always want to run to it.  Just like my brother you are God’s gift to us.  

Again, this is not an easy thing to write or request.  There is nothing we dread more than the idea of not taking care or being there for our children.  It physically pains me to even think about it.  Tristan and Yseult are the display of our wonderful love story.  I sometimes can’t help but stare at them and try to memorize every part of them.  They are beautiful and wonderful children.  A man like me does not deserve such gifts.  They are more precious than the finest pearl to me.  Yseult has her mother’s laugh that makes my heart skip every time I hear it.  At less than year she managed to figure out how to light up a room. Tristan is such a fascinating blend of the both of us.  He is so wise that sometimes I forget the kid is just 4.  Everything in life makes sense because of them.  So understand this request is not thought of lightly.  Please take care of our children.  We already know that you both will.  But we are putting this in writing so no ones ever questions the roles you play in our absence.  

We love you both so much.

Thank you for just being the people you are in our lives.

Love,

Xamantha and Olivier.  

Shyla

I sat next to Olivier’s brother, Matt,  while we both faced their family attorney as he read the letter from my sister and brother in law.  I have been crying for 2 weeks and I really didn’t want to cry anymore.  I didn’t want to seem feeble in this room of men.  Crying by no ways takes away my strength but I knew that’s how men interpreted it.  But there is only so much self control I person has.  And as the attorney kept reading this very intimate letter with no emotional attachment included in the tone, I broke.  I sobbed quietly while he read.  I looked in the corner of my eyes and saw Matt sitting very stoically with no expression.  No surprise there.  The Mr. Personality is a robot.  Xam would always scold me for calling him ‘Mr. Personality’ because she knew my snark.  I didn’t spend much time with him the last 6 years my sister and Olivier have been together, and I was ok with that.  I always considered him a pompous, conceited characterture of a rich boy.  He was not warm nor friendly.  Xam always said that he was not always comfortable around people he didn’t know.

I remember when I was maid of honor and he was best man for their wedding I could hardly wait to get away from him.  He only gave one line answers.  Never even bothered to laugh at my jokes (which is insulting because I am hilarious).  He didn’t even dance at the wedding.  He is not the kind of people I have ever hung out with, nor wanted to.  And we are about to raise children together.  I have to laugh at that.

“Ms. Newton?”  Both the attorney and Matt looked with quizzical expressions.  Oh no.  Did I laugh out loud?  Great.  “I know this is a lot to take in.  What Mr. and Mrs. David left was you Ms. Shlya Newton and Mr. Matheau David full custody of 4 year old Tristan David and 11 month old Yseult David. If you wish to share this custody with other members of your family-”

“No!” Both Matt and I said at the same time.  Then we looked at each other wondering if either of us will give an explanation.  

“Mr. Sanberg, thank you so much for taking out the time to reach out to us and meet with us.  This is a lot to take in, but I think it is best that Ms. Newton and I sit down and have a discussion before moving forward with anything.  This is a difficult situation but we do plan to honor our sibling’s wishes.  We will reach out later this week on next steps.”

Then Matt stood up, shook the attorney’s hand, and pulled my chair out for me to stand up.  Well, he is definitely a take charge kind of man.  Did that joker just speak for me?  Am I having an outer body experience? I am letting him end this meeting without having a say at all.  I am shaking Mr. Sanberg’s hand and saying good bye.  What the heck.  That’s another thing I forgot about him at the wedding.  His word was final.  There were many times I wanted to give him a piece of my mind but I didn’t want to cause any additional problems for my sister and her relationship.  It was bad enough that neither of our parents were supporting their marriage but they said they were always glad at least their siblings got along.  Knowing Xam, I knew she said that as more of a plea.  I am not the submissive type and this man was way too use to people obeying his command.  

“Since the kids are with your mother at your house I figure we should go to my place and talk.  I wouldn’t want to talk in front of them or in a public place. Did you drive or will you be riding with me?” Matt said as we were walking to the exit in the lobby.

“Mr. David.” I said in my most authoritative teacher voice I could gather.  He stopped abruptly and looked at me like I lost my mind.  Guess he wasn’t use to people interrupting him either.  “I know we are entering extreme and unusual circumstances. Understand that I am very much invested in the children.”

“I never-”

I raised my hand to silence him.  I do not like to be interrupted.  “But you will also have to understand this will be an equal partnership.  You are not leading this charge. We are.  So I would appreciate from the start that you be respectful towards me and let me have an input.”

“Ms. Newton, when have I disrespected you? What’s there to have an input about? Do you disagree that we need to speak privately?”

“No, I-”

“Then why go through beating around the bush just to stroke your ego? My brother’s kids are orphaned and it is now my responsibility to make sure they are well taken care of.”

That is it!  Now, I’m angry.  “No! It is not your responsibility! It’s is ours! Who do you think you are?! I don’t need my ego stroked. I am trying to have an adult conversation with you about two people who are VERY important to me and you are dismissing me.”

“God! This is not about you!”

“You are not listening to a word I’m saying you arrogant jerk!”

“Ms. Newton? Mr. David?” We both turn to see Mr. Sanberg right next to us.  “How about we go back into my office and have this conversation?”  We both just follow him back to his office.  I am so steamed.  My blood is boiling.  I mean, the nerve of that jerk.  How are we going to do this when even the way he sits gets on my nerves.  He just flips his jacket tail up and sits like he owns shit.  He don’t own shit. He ain’t shit.

“Alright.  I should have been more forceful as the children's attorney for you guys to stick around and talk to me more about this.”

“We would’ve if this ass over here didn’t think he was in charge and shut everything down before anyone could have a say.”

Matt turned to me and spat out “If you had something to say why didn’t you speak up?  It’s not my fault you didn’t speak up.”

“You didn’t give a chance! I was trying to take in all that information and you just jumped in there and shut this down and didn’t care if I had a say in it.  I had questions-”

“Well, ask them.”

“Shut up!”

“Let’s calm down.” Mr. Sanberg finally chimed.  “You both are still grieving. This is hard news to take in.  I’m no shrink but I don’t think you guys should take it out on each other.”

That silenced me.  This was just too much.  It’s overwhelming.  And I can’t help it.  I start crying again.   I was in no position to be weak, but I just couldn’t hold it.  I missed my sister so much.  She is the person I would go to for the crisis in my life.  In this is definitely a crisis.  But she was not a phone call away.  

Matt

I am so angry right now.  Well, maybe not angry.  I guess she is annoying and I was already feeling a lot and took it out on her.  But she kinda deserved it.  The lives of our precious niece and nephew was place in our hands and all she wanted was to feel important.  Ugh she was probably the kid in the playground who was always shouting ‘it’s not fair!’ And now she is crying like she is the victim.  Actually, now I’m pissed off.  

“Hey look!” The lawyer said now with a less formal New Yorker tone. “I knew both your brother and your sister.  They were great people.  I considered them good friends of mine. They weren’t dummies either.  They chose you two to protect their kids for a reason.”

The hair on the back of my neck started to rise. “What do you mean ‘protect?’ “  I see by the way Shyla looked up she picked up on my tone.  For some reason the way he said that word didn’t sound casual to me.  

“What’s going on?” She chimes looking at Sanberg.

“Look, this is not official and if you want to talk this is going to be off record and outside of my relationship as the family attorney.”

“Ok, fine. We’re off the record.” Shyla said while sniffing.  Who’s bossy now? She didn’t ask my input if I wanted that.

“Ok.” Sanberg continued.  He took a deep breath and walked to the door to make sure it was locked.  “First, this is all speculation.  Not based on fact.  But I heard the information from valuable sources.  You both know that your siblings were involved in an investigation that was some deep shit.”

“They were putting some drug dealers away. Do you think there will be retaliation even after they died?” I want to ask more questions.  I want to know everything now.  I am not a fan of suspense.  

“There was more to it.  There was corruption.  In the police department, with the politicians.  With banks.  The more they uncovered the deeper it got.  I mean every parent should think of who would care for their children in case they pass.  But their letter was written a couple of weeks before they died.  I’m not trying to scare you or put conspiracy theories in your head, but I think it’s fair for you both to know that there are some of their friends who were working on this case with them who think that their deaths were too convenient.”

Shyla gasped and put her hand on her mouth.  I was shocked to but I didn’t want to be as theatrical as her.  “You’re saying someone killed them.” She said with water coming to her eyes.  Good grief she is going to cry again.  Her crying is making it difficult to hold it together myself. Women, have it lucky in the regards of no one thinking anything about you if you just express your emotions.  My brother’s funeral was the only time I was given a free pass to express myself.  Even then there was some reservation.  I couldn’t sob and be held down the aisle.  I had colleagues at the funeral and that was not something I wanted to share with them. But Shyla monopolized on the grief.  People were surrounding her and catering to her every need.  Like she is the one who died.

“They have no evidence.”

“So what are you saying.” I start getting annoyed.  Is he trying to scare us into thinking someone will try to harm the kids?

“All I’m saying is that the request from Xam and Olie were more intentional than thinking about worse case scenarios.  They only scratched the surface of what was going on.  And if their colleagues find out that their death wasn’t an accident then that means they were getting close to something no wanted them to know about.  The scary thing is that no one knows what that is yet.  So I’m saying all this shit to say that you guys have a bigger task at hand.  We don’t know if the kids are targets. We don’t know anything.  So we all need to take careful precautions.  That means you two need to start compromising your prides quick and lay low with those kids.”

That little speech sobered me.  I felt helpless. Then I felt a hand   touch my forearm gently.  My natural reaction is to flinch away, but I stayed still.  Then that owner of that hand looked me in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry for jumping down your throat.  I want to protect my niece and nephew.  Picking a fight with you is not going to help.”

I just nodded my head. She seemed disappointed and pulled her hand away.

“Does this mean we need to finalize the custody quickly?”

“I think it would be best for the kids.  Do you think anyone would try and fight you guys for custody? Since the news fascination on your siblings death has not died down, they would most likely be invested in a custody battle.  I think it will be best to have the kids off the radar as much as possible.”

“Oh gosh! My parents!” Shyla groaned and slapped her hand in her face.

“Why would your parents want custody?”

“No offense, but my parents hated the idea of your brother and my sister together.  One of their main concerns was my sister not raising their kids ‘black.’  But they had no say in the matter.  In the last few weeks my mom has been more invested in the kids more than ever.  She assumed the role of guardian. She especially doesn’t like you, Matt.  She is not going to like this.”

“Do you think she accept it quietly  with a pay out?”

Shyla looked at me shock.  Here we go again. 1...2...3…

“How dare you!  That’s exactly why they don’t like you.  My parents may sometimes have a misguided world view, but what they believe is with full conviction.  Unlike the people you know, money will not just shut them up.”

“Didn’t you just apologize to me a few minutes ago?”

“I seemed to have been too hasty in that! I am not sorry.”

“This is not going anywhere.” I couldn’t take this bickering hen.  

“Listen, guys. I’m serious.  You’re going to have to have a united front about this.  I’m not saying that the kids are in immediate danger but the situation around them is dangerous. Ms. Newton, may I call you Shyla?”

The lawyer grabbed her hands and she smiled at him.  Then she nods at him. The first time she really smiled to day and it was for a cheap charmer. If she falls for that she is not as clever as she thinks she is.  

“Shyla, I know you are hurting.  And this is tough.  I don’t doubt that you are strong enough to handle this.”  Oh nice!  Her ego has been stroked like she wanted.  “I need you to take one for the team, and convince your parents to back off.  If Matt’s presence won’t help then you’ll unfortunately have to do it alone. But you can’t tell them about what you know. It won’t help if it is not concrete.”  

Her eyes widen with panic for a few seconds and then nodded.  I thought she was brave.

“Ok, I will handle them. Don’t worry.” She seemed more sad than when she first came in.  I wanted to ask her and try to help her but I got a feeling that she would cut me if I even breathed.  

“Mr. Sanber-”

“Charlie. “ Oh great now the lawyer has a crush! How long do I have to sit here and watch them flirt.

“Charlie, what does me and Mr. David need to do next?”

“Well, on my end all you have to do is sign these papers.  Everything else is personal and between you guys.”

“Alright, I’m ready to sign.  Mr. David are you?  I would love to discuss more about this at your place like you suggested afterward.”

Guess I won this round. “That sounds great.”