July 25th 2009

There were now exactly six months until Faith’s eighteenth birthday. She didn’t know where she was going to end up. Would they release her? or would she still be doing time in adult prison?

She was an under educated black female so the odds definitely were not in her favor. Faith should be anticipating her senior year of high school like most girls her age not sitting in juvenile detention.

Then again most girls her age hadn’t murdered their husbands. Today was visiting day a day that Faith chose to ignore since her parents never bothered to come and see her anyway.

Instead she decided to see if the counselor was available to talk.

Miss Helen Parrington was the only person who really seemed to understand her and didn’t judge her; plus she was the only one who really paid her any attention on visiting day.

“Good Afternoon Faith” she smiled warmly at the young teenage girl as she entered her office

“Hey Miss Parrington”

Helen frowned a little and couldn’t help but ask, “Your parents didn’t show up again?”

“It’s not like I’m still their daughter” Faith said with a bit of sadness in her voice that Helen could detect “besides I wanted to come see you”

“Well that’s very nice of you Faith is there something you’d like to talk about?”

“Miss Parrington I don’t know what do” Faith said honestly “I’m I going to be switched over to regular adult prison soon?”

“Faith what are you talking about?” Helen asked confused

“I don’t know what to do” Faith finally said “I’ll be eighteen in six months and I have nowhere to go except to do more jail time”

“Don’t say that,” Helen said, “you know that’s not true”

“Where else am I supposed to go?” she asked “I haven’t been to school since seventh grade I don’t know anything”

“If you’re concerned about your education you can always get your GED”

“What’s a GED?”

“Well a GED is a General Education Diploma it’s basically for people who don’t have a high school diploma or never finished high school”

“I guess that’s me”

“Faith don’t be so hard on yourself---“

“I wouldn’t even be here if my parents hadn’t decided that it was time for me to marry a man three times my age” Faith said “I’ve been screwed over for the past four years”

“It’s never too late to change your life around plus you’re so young” Helen said “too young to give up hope so easy you are at an exciting time in your life and the world is yours to go forth and do with it as you please”

“I can?”

“Yes you can”

“But I don’t know what I want to do” Faith replied rather pathetically

“That’s okay you don’t have to know everything”

“I know that I want my GED”

“I’ll tell you what” Helen said “I have some pamphlets on GED testing as well as a career guide books”

“What kind of career?” Faith asked as she flipped through the book

“Anything you can imagine” Helen replied, “you can be a doctor, a teacher, a vet---“

Faith then flipped to a page that advertised the United States Navy and Helen smiled

“You can even be in the Navy”

“Women are allowed to be in the Navy?” Faith asked surprised “even black women?”

“Of course” Helen replied, “have you ever heard of Admiral Michelle Howard?”

“No” Faith said, “who is she?”

Helen smiled “Well you’ve got a lot of research to do now don’t you?”

“Wow”

Faith said again for what seemed to be the billionth time but she still couldn’t believe it. She took another piece of scotch tape and taped the picture of Admiral Michelle J Howard to her cell wall.

After doing the recommended research that Helen told her to do to; Faith learned that Admiral Howard was the Vice Chief of Naval Operations and also not only the first female to become a four star admiral but also the first African American to do so as well.

Faith also found it a little ironic that this admiral’s last name was Howard but it also wasn’t fair to judge her by that because of the remarkable things that she had accomplished.

It actually gave Faith a sense of hope that her parents should have instilled her that she was sure that Admiral Howard’s parents did. A sense of hope that Faith could do and be anything that she wanted to be instead of being a doormat child bride.

She wanted to do it.

She wanted to be just like Admiral Howard; if not exactly then at least near the same level.

Faith wanted to have a sense of self worth and wanted to feel important which was something that Howard never made her feel.

“Can I go to school sir?” Faith asked as Howard stuffed his mouth forkful after forkful of his breakfast that she made him without offering her any at all.

“What the fuck do you need to go school for?”

“To learn” Faith said rather pathetically “I’m supposed to be in eighth grade---“

“No”

Faith knew that she shouldn’t have been surprised by Howard’s answer but it still hurt.

“Why not?”

“Because I said so that’s why” he snapped at her quickly

“Please sir I just want to learn---“

Howard just chuckled and laughed “And what good is learning going to do you?”

Faith didn’t say anything she didn’t know what to say to that honestly

“Not a damn thing” Howard replied “you ain’t shit and you ain’t never going to be shit; hell you’re not even pretty”

Tears rolled down Faith’s cheeks and she whispered, “I could learn some things---“

“I said you aren’t going and that’s that” Howard cut her off “now fry me up some more bacon”

“Yes sir”

That was four years ago but that conversation was still fresh in Faith’s mind to this day. And top things off Howard wasn’t even the worst part about that whole dilemma the worst thing was that her own parents subjected her to that.

All three of them only saw her as a doormat child bride with a dowry; but something was telling Faith that she was more than that. So much more than that. Faith looked at the picture of Admiral Howard and she knew that she was making the right decision.

“Miss Parrington?”

“Yes Faith come in” Helen replied she wasn’t surprised to see Faith come into her office again on another visiting day; however she was surprised to see the teenager come in with a number of books in her arms.

"What’s all this?” Helen smiled “I see you really want your GED---“

“No I’m getting my GED Miss Parrington” Faith said “and I want to join the Navy”

“We can certainly look into the GED but are you sure about the Navy?” Helen asked, “it’s a lot of hard work”

“Yes I’m sure” Faith replied, “maybe I can even be a SEAL”

Helen chuckled “Well they don’t let women train for SEALS---“

“One day they will”

Helen looked into Faith’s eyes and she couldn’t help but admire the young lady’s fierce determination and she had a feeling with an attitude like that Faith was going to turn her life around and make something of it.

“Yes” Helen said smiling at her “One day they will”