Penname: partial2passion [Contact]

Real name:

Member Since: January 12 2013

Membership status: Member

Bio:

I write for fun but take it seriously. I'm originally a visual artist with Latin roots. My mediums are charcoal, paint or whatever I can find. But lately I've been writing. And I love it.


I welcome all constructive criticsm. After the initial sting, I really do take it into consideration... as ultimately it's all about the story. -Hit me up! -p2p- 


 




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Reviews by partial2passion


Nic and Baz by Leeli01
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 11]
Summary:

Niya DeLuca, a jobless twenty-six year old woman is convinced that her dreams of becoming the wife to a wealthy, handsome, powerful man are finally going to coming true.

Sebastian Costa, a wealthy bachelor loves to play games with women, and he always wins. He’s instantly attracted to Niya's beauty and she quickly becomes his new play toy.

But what happens when Sebastian meets the woman identically beautiful but impossible to corrupt?

 

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Original Characters
Series: None
Chapters: 2
Completed:No
Word count: 2723
Read Count: 1988
Published: January 11 2014
Updated: January 11 2014

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Title: Chapter 1: New Start

Hey there- Wow this is amazing. Really really REALLY great improvement. I'm so happy you didn't let negativity stop you. You went out there sounds like with a little bit of help and banged out this super great re-launched story.

I love how you've adjusted and added details that make these characters more real. Like Niya you've made her sound less crazy and more calculating. A simple example is her wearing blood red dress instead of pink. It gives the appearance of a full grown woman instead of a girl. Like she knows what she wants and will do anything to get it. That's much more interesting as a potential villan than a simple spoiled girl who will stomp her feet for what she wants. I like seeing her as a shell or a doll, trained for a mission, then you can build on her and find her humanity. And maybe explain the reason she became this way and why her aunt has molded her that way.

The name Nic (I have a Nic in my stories so naturally I like the change Lol) it's easier to pronounce and distinguish from her twin. I can't wait to see how you describe her and how she meets Baz. 

Even though I can't wait to read the next chapter, take your time and continue to post excellent work. Really really nice job chica!

-p2p-



Author's Response:

Thank you! Thank you so much! This chapter took a lot of work, much needed appreciated help, and adjusting! I'm so happy it came out right!

 Reviewer: partial2passion Signed
Date: January 13 2014
More than friends by Acdromance
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 47]
Summary:

Brody has been in love with his best friend Jordan for years. Technically she is bi sexual so he is hoping he has a shot. She's only dated women since forever so the shots in hell but he is willing to take it. Because he has 2 weeks to get her to give them a chance at being more than friends. 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Family, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Homosexuality, Rape
Series: None
Chapters: 4
Completed:No
Word count: 11584
Read Count: 4563
Published: January 13 2014
Updated: June 11 2019

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Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wow that was intense. I wasn't expecting that twist! That was an awesome update. Man so poor Jordan had to go through all of that. My heart kinda hurt for her. No wonder she's messed up with her feeling with Brody. I hope she gets the therapy and loving support she needs. But with how utterly in love he is with her, I don't doubt he'll be that strong person she needs. The sad part is that stuff like that really happened.

This is a REALLY unique story and I feel it's so great your putting it down on paper. It seems like a tale of 2nd chances and healing past hurts and true love. Go on girl! Do yo thang! Lol :)  



Author's Response:

I am so happy your enjoying this story. I was worried though because I don't want to inadvertently belittle something truly horrific. I really love these characters though.

 Reviewer: partial2passion Signed
Date: February 06 2014
The Chase by Joelle Jax
Rated: Members ONLY: 17 and Older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 19]
Summary:

Haunted by her former life, Kattia seeks solace in another.  But there is one who pursues her—a ruthless hunter whose existence is dedicated to the ruination of hers.  One who will never give up the chase.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Action-Adventure , Drama, Fantasy, Horror, Romance
Story Status: On hiatus indefinitely
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Character Death, Dark Fic, Drugs/Drug Use, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 2
Completed:No
Word count: 7076
Read Count: 852
Published: February 16 2014
Updated: March 08 2014

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Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Ashes to Ashes

Mouth is hanging open. What is the what?! What a chapter to break out of your funk! I'm so intrigued and confused but then intrigued again. Lol Your writing is amazing and I have so many question on this. I hope you continue because this was just wow. 



Author's Response:

Thanks Partial2Passion!  Glad you liked it.  I plan to continue, but the writer in me in still feeling a little meh.  Hopefully, it'll pass.

 Reviewer: partial2passion Signed
Date: February 17 2014
Retired
Lonely by daughter
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 542]
Summary:

How far will you go when you're lonely?



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Erotica
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, BDSM, Dark Fic, Dubcon, Extreme Language, Homosexuality, Original Characters, Racism, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 75
Completed:No
Word count: 151713
Read Count: 143289
Published: March 13 2014
Updated: July 17 2015

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Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hello! Yes I would definitely post it here for first. Valentchamber is awesome for authors who are trying to get a feel for their story. I also value how many readers Literotica offers. Unfortunately Literotica readers are oftentimes really harsh when it comes to stories featuring a plus-sized characters that show signs of low self-esteem. Believe me I've seen it time and time again. So I would hate it if you posted there and didn't get the encouragement or feedback you need to finish the story. 

If you really wanted to once you have the story flushed out and completed and edited then I would suggest posting it on Literotica. If there is a lot of graphic sex, I'd just put a little note warning readers, but the readers here on valentchamber are open-minded and don't offended easily. :)

I really like your story so far. I feel for Jodi, she sounds like the majority of us women at one point or another. I'm excited to see where it goes. I'd love it if you had longer chapters though, it seemed really short, but good. If you're planning on posting quickly though, then that should solve that. 

Hope to read more soon. :)

-p2p-

 



Author's Response:

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.  I understand what you are trying to tell me and I will take your advice.  I will continue to post on this site for as long as I am welcome.

Reviewer: partial2passion Signed
Date: March 14 2014

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.