A/N: Hi ladies! I’m back with this long awaited chapter.  Sorry for the delay. I’ve just been a busy girl. Like always I’m not to sure about this chapter, but not wanting to keep you waiting any longer I decided to go ahead and post it.  Please let me know what you think.

Heaven Can Wait

Chapter 07 – She Mends Me

His hand softly caressed her bare midriff. He pulled her back closer against his chest and spooned her as he snuggled more into the crook of her neck. It had been hours now; hours since he had drifted off to sleep after their encounter in the shower had been extended for a couple more rounds.  Now she was left to only her thoughts to keep her company.  She shifted a little and tucked her arm underneath her pillow trying to find a more comfortable position. She sighed as she stared at the wall.  Comfort wasn’t the issue; comfort wasn’t the reason why her mind wouldn’t slow enough to sleep and comfort wasn’t the reason she had been staring at the same imaginary spot for the past three hours in a darkened room. The events of the day were stuck in her mind on repeat.

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand she fought the urge to pull out her hair after seeing 4:57 displayed across its face.  It was official now; she wasn’t getting any sleep. Her morning schedule would begin in a few hours.  The first thing on her list was a phone interview with a radio station; forcing her self to get some shut eye now would be pointless.  She was use to this; with her life style she rarely got more then four hours asleep at a time anyway.  What would be the big deal in adding a sleepless night into the equation?

Pulling the covers back she readied her self to maneuver out of Justin’s arms.  He had been lightly snoring for hours now and she knew from experience waking him was not an easy task.  Slowly she lifted his arm that rested on her hip bone.  Right on Q he turned slightly away allowing her to slide out of bed; moving back he snuggled into the warmth of the spot she had just vacated.

The cool air caressed her bare skin as she shivered; walking over to Justin’s dresser she felt a slight ache between her legs.  He damn near broke her in half last night.  Removing a black night gown from the dresser she put her arms through and pulled it over her head letting the silky material spill over her breasts; down her stomach and end mid thigh.  Pulling her hair around to rest on her left shoulder, she tiptoed out the room trying her best not to wake the house.

She couldn’t see two inches in front of her, after feeling her way down the long hall, she found the stairs.  She peered down looking to see if any other lights were on, informing her she wasn’t up alone, but she was met with darkness. Descending slowly, midway down a step behind her creaked, making her heart jump. She tried her best not to shriek when his familiar voice filled the air startling her. 

“You should’ve just woke me… you can’t sneak for shit,” He chuckled.

Holding her chest trying to slow her heart she looked over her shoulder up at him.  “And you should’ve told me you were following me!”  She told him, trying her best not to raise her voice.

Justin walked ahead into the kitchen, flipping the light on as he bee lined it to the freezer.

Her eyes trailed up his body as he pulled the half eaten vanilla ice cream cart out.  “You’re bucket naked,” she said, stating the obvious.

Ignoring her statement he grabbed a spoon and walked around her, but not before stealing a quick kiss from her lips and whistling on.

She spun on her heels and watched him practically float to the kitchen table and take a seat.  She smiled. He was in an eerie good mood this morning. As odd as he seemed she relaxed a little.  She thought he would be the opposite, with the knowledge of her fast approaching European tour floating over his head.  This was a nice surprise, very nice.  “I see nobody pissed in your cheerios this morning.” She took the seat beside him. “You’re not a morning person. So why’s sunshine coming outta your ass?”

He scooped ice cream out of the cart and fed her.  “I’m always like this after a long night of hot nasty monkey sex… remember?”

Letting the sweet cream melt in her mouth she tried to fight the blush that crept into her cheeks. “Right… I forgot,” she choked out nervously.

His heart fluttered. He took pride in knowing he could still make her nervous.  He smiled as his mind took him to all the other places he could make her blush.

Opening her mouth, he fed her more; after rolling it around a little she said, “About how long can I expect this chipper mood to last?”

Tilting her chin up with the tips of his fingers he leaned in to steal another kiss, this time taking his time with it allowing the vanilla flavor to reach his tongue. “Two days.” He breathed against her lips.  “Give or take a few hours.” Licking his pink lips he relaxed back in his chair and went back to eating his ice cream.

Beyoncé studied him as his mood dampened slightly at the mention of her leaving him. Temporarily returning to an old habit, she bit her bottom lip. Changing the subject seemed like a good idea.  “What time is rehearsal?”  She asked. The American Music Awards seemed neutral enough.

“A couple hours after we land,” he mumbled between bites.  “That’s why you should still be asleep.”

She was about to admit to not having slept at all, but thought better of it. “I have a phone interview in about an hour.”

He nodded his head as he finished off the ice cream.

She drew in a deep, shuddering breath as she continued to watch him carefully.  They were skirting around each other and making small talk. This wasn’t them.  “Why haven’t you ever mentioned your father to me?”  She blurted out.  It had been bothering her most of the night and she wanted to know.

He looked up and gazed at her a few seconds before answering. “I talk about my father all the time Giselle.” It rolled off his tongue so easily it was blatantly obvious he was avoiding the question.

Ignoring the use of her grotesque middle name she pressed on. “I’m not talking about Paul, JT.  I’m talking about your real father, Randall.” She crossed her arms, daring him to try and dodge her again.

Justin shifted in his seat feeling naked for the first time, despite the fact he really was naked.  “There wasn’t much to tell.”

“You had a hell of a lot to say last night at dinner.”

He leaned back and blinked as if he were seeing things.  “Why are you asking me this now?”

She shrugged.  “Why not?” She hesitated a second.  “We’ve been friends along time and… I just… I wanna know why you never told me you hate your father so much? He’s a big part of your life, and I know nothing about him.”

Realizing she felt left out, he tired to lessen his defensiveness.  “Saying I hate my father is pretty strong words.”

“I believe those were your exact words.” She challenged with a raise of her brow.

He stood up.  “I’ll be right back,” he informed her before disappearing up the stairs.  After being gone for a good five minutes he returned down stairs dressed in a white t-shirt and black boxers.  He felt better about the conversation now, protected even.  While he was away he took the time to calm himself.  He never liked talking about his past with his father.  Over the years he had grown accustom to avoiding the topic all together.  Everyone around him learned that about him quickly and adapted to it with out question.  Beyoncé was different though, she was the woman he loved and planned on growing old and dieing with.  If he couldn’t share this part of himself with her something was wrong, very wrong. He took his seat again and laid both his black berry and side kick on the table.  He didn’t look up at her in fear of his eyes revealing how vulnerable this made him; instead he played with a string on the end of his shirt. “This thing with me and my father started the night I was conceived.” He paused as if he were seeing something right before his eyes… something painful.

 Beyoncé remained silent, not sure of what to do. 

“My father… he uh… he didn’t want children.”  He fumbled trying to find the right words.  “Shit, I don’t know maybe… maybe he liked it just being him and my mother… or maybe he loved her so much he didn’t like the idea of me coming and stealing her attention away. Till this day I don’t know why, but according to my aunt the night she told him she was pregnant he was furious, so furious he beat her.”  He sighed and finally locked his blue eyes on her brown.  The pain there was so great she had to force herself not to look away.  As he continued his story he fought to stay in control. “He beat the shit outta my mother BK… to the point she end up in the hospital. “

Beyoncé felt sick with guilt for making him feel like he had to share the most horrible part of his life with her.  The faraway stare he was giving her now was proof the womb had festered over time. Scooting toward him, she caressed his cheek and he rested his head in her lap. After placing a kiss on his forehead she raked her fingers through his thick curls in a soothing manner. “You don’t have to tell me right now.” She assured, wiping her own tears away as they fell from her eyes.

Justin continued on as if she hadn’t said a word.  His mind had already taken him there, and there was not turning back now.  “Her doctors were amazed that she didn’t miscarry that night. After I was born things got a lot worse… my father was a heavy drinker.  He never hit me though… always my mother.”  His voice was small now.  “He was smart.  He knew better… he knew that if he ever touched me my mother would leave him.  I think over time I started to resent her because of that.  He didn’t have to touch me to hurt me; knowing everything he had done to her was worse. The emotional abuse was much worse. As I got older he started cheating on her.  She didn’t know, but I knew.  He didn’t try to hide it from me.  I believe I was bout ten years old when I had had enough… I was just sick of it all, all the lies, the cheating, the drinking… everything. I told my mother about the women he had been with.  They fought.  My mother was so hurt and tired.  She had been beaten down so much in her life… I remember it because it was on Christmas Eve.  That was the night my father put a gun to my head and threatened to kill me-“

Beyoncé’s hand motions froze at the news. “He did what?”  She asked not wanting to believe anyone could do that to their child. “What happened?”  She forced out as she returned to running her fingers through his hair.

Justin seemed to snap out of the daze he was in and sat up quickly. “I don’t remember.  I just know after that my mother and I moved.” He finished like it was a normal situation for any ten year old.  He faced her.  “You understand why things are the way they are with me and him?”

She nodded.  “That’s truly fucked up… no one should have to live through that; especially a child.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug.  “I’m sorry.” She whispered against his neck, placing a kiss there. “I’m so sorry baby.” She was at a lost.  She didn’t know what to do for him.  Although he hadn’t broken down while sharing his story she knew that there was a great pain there and as the years passed that pain grew, he just hid it well; he hid it behind his anger.

Justin moved her hair back as he took in her vanilla scent and kissed her collar bone.  “Don’t feel sorry for me… thanks to him I know who I don’t wanna to be.” He pulled back to gaze into her chocolate orbs and wiped her tears away with both thumbs. “Don’t cry babe, I’m okay.”  He assured.

But she wasn’t convinced.  “You didn’t seem okay last night.”

He quickly waved it off. “That shit was nothin’… after he couldn’t hurt my mother anymore… let’s just say he found new ways to get to me.”

Beyoncé’s curiosity was getting the best of her, but figured she would keep her questions to a minimum after recalling what Justin had told her about his father liking younger women, and those younger women were sometimes his girlfriends.

Justin lifted her over to his lap.  He turned her head toward his for a light kiss.  “Since you’re in the mood for serious conversation, I think we should talk about Trace.” He told her trying to keep his tone malice free.

 She diverted her eyes away.  “I was wondering when you would mention him.”

“I want to know what went on in the car. Esmée didn’t tell me a thing… she basically just said he was an asshole and that I should ask you if I really wanted to know.”

“You asked her?” Her voice rose a little from irritation. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

“Slow down and relax.” He rubbed her thigh trying to calm her. “She actually came to me about it.  I didn’t ask her… so what happened?”

“You first,” she countered. “What happened when you got home… and why was the glass table broken down in the games room? Huh?”

A smile spread across his face. “You’re good.”  He said, shaking his finger at her. “But I asked you first.”

“Fine!” she rolled her eyes playfully. “Trace was nothing like I expected. I mean I had a feeling he didn’t like me… but I had no clue that he disliked me that damn much.”

“You’re not one to usually care what people think.”

“But he’s your best friend.”

“Ex-best friend,” He corrected.

“Okay! Okay! Ex-best friend! But he was still your best friend at the time and I felt like you wanted us to have a good relationship.”  She laughed at her own silliness. “But now-“

“But now?”

“Now I think all that matters is what you think.”  She looked at him expectantly. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” He said as he attacked her neck with hungry kisses.

She giggled.  “No! No!” She pulled away from him.  “Seriously… jokes aside, how do you really feel about the situation? I know Trace meant and still means a lot to you Justin.  I don’t know everything that happened between the two of you, but if it was anywhere close to what happened with me and him, it had to hurt. Let’s keep it 100.”

“100?”

“100”

“He pissed me the fuck off more then anything.  I promise you… and you may not believe this, but Trace use to be nothing like he is now, and that’s my word. Some where along the way he changed into someone I don’t recognize anymore. I mean… some of the things that came out of his mouth were just plain… plain-“

“Racist,” she finished for him.

He looked at her and nodded solemnly. “Yeah”

“I guess I don’t need to ask how the table got broken.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care about the ta-“

“I’m sorry for how he treated you, and how he must’ve made you feel.”

“Don’t worry about me… I’m sorry you lost a friend.”

He shook his head adamantly. “It doesn’t matter… none of that matters. You’re what matters to me Bey. You’re the most important person to me, and if he didn’t care about our friendship enough to except you then I’m much better off with one less friend.”

She smiled sadly. “Thank you for saying that… but you don’t have to try and make me feel better. I know how much Trace means to you.”

“Beyoncé,” he held her face in his hands. “He did… he did mean a lot to me, but you’re my world baby, and as long as I have you by my side fuck everybody else.” He moved his face closer to hers so there noses were inches apart. “I love you.” He whispered as her hand played with the hair at his nape. He held her gaze making sure she saw the truth that reflected in his eyes.

Beyoncé’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Justin-“she breathed before he silenced her with a kiss. This kiss was passion filled; one that sent tingles to the pit of her stomach and shot to the tips of her toes. Guiding his fingers through her thick locks his tongue gently explored her own. Wrapping both arms around his neck she moaned as he splayed his hands across her bare upper thighs, teasing her there.

Tearing his mouth away from hers for air, he placed butterfly kisses along her jaw. His hands were everywhere; her hips, her neck, her silk covered breast.  She was his, and every inch of her was fair game. He ran his finger under the left strap of her night gown, toying with the thin material. Kissing her collar bone he slid the strap off. At that exact moment his side kick and black berry vibrated simultaneously.

Justin let a few obscenities slip from his lips while Beyoncé tightly shut her eyes and sighed; this predicament was all too familiar to them.

Wanting to let him know it was okay Beyoncé smiled at him and kissed the top of his head.

He hesitated at first, but then grabbed for them. “I’m sorry baby girl.” Looking at his side kick first, he hit ignore and answered the other instead. After he was engrossed in conversation for a few minutes Beyoncé tried standing, but he put his arm around her waist to hold her in place in his lap mouthing, “One minute babe.”

She sat back and listened to his conversation.  It was business no doubt; business pertaining to Ciara. She sat quietly waiting trying her best not to feel any certain way about it. He was producing a lot of songs these days, and that required him to work with a lot of young female singers; a lot of young beautiful female singers who sometimes had long lasting crushes on him; it was part of his job she knew that… she didn’t have to like it, but she knew that. Watching him smile and laugh at something she said on the other end made her body heat rise.  What was this feeling she was getting?  It was new to her… was she getting jealous? When her brow arched and her lips perched together after she heard him say, “I’ll see you for rehearsal tomorrow,” there was no doubt she needed to get her attitude and emotions in check.

Justin said his goodbyes and hung up.  He rested his chin in the crook of her neck and kissed the hollow there.

“So you’re performing with Ciara at the awards?” She asked, unfazed by the sensation his lips were sending throughout her body. “First I hear of it.”

He slowed his actions and placed one last kiss on her shoulder before looking straight ahead. Damn, it had slipped his mind that he hadn’t mentioned his promotional tour with Ciara. At that moment he was glad he couldn’t see her face; he could just imagine what facial expression she was giving him right then. “Uhm… originally she did want us to perform, but I wanted to be the one to take you to the airport.  So… I got her two sets on Saturday Night Live, the weekend I host.” He said while he played with a piece of her hair.

She nodded her head stiffly. “Right,” she knew exactly where this was going. He wasn’t going to come right out and tell her so she assumed she needed to help him along. “You’re flying out to be with me a week after. I don’t need a send off. Call Johnny and see if it’s too late to book a performance at the awards.”

He swallowed hard. “Babe”

“Hmm?” She looked at him pretending to be clueless. 

He never turned to face her. “The reason we’ve been playing phone tag is…,” He paused, trying to make sure he had the right words prepared, “is she needs-“

“You to help promote her album,” She finished as she shifted a little in his lap to see his face. “Y’all are setting up a promotional tour that will probably take up all of this month and take you clear into the surrounding months… so you won’t be able to fly out and see me on my European tour for the next two an a half months, meaning… after the awards the next time I’ll see you is on your birthday and that’s if my schedule’s worked out by then.” She took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.  If he wanted to do that it was fine; what she didn’t get was he had been sulking the entire vacation about being apart from her for a week, but hadn’t told her that week had been turned into two months. She knew how promotional tours went; those schedules were tight and usually had no breaks.

“I was gonna tell you Bk.” He said breaking into her thoughts.

“Why didn’t you?”

“My dad happened and it slipped my mind.” He hated disappointing her.  They were able to get past their separation because they had his upcoming visits to keep them going.

Beyoncé closed her eye.  Why was she letting this upset her? They had survived being separated before; not for two months but they had been separated, they could get through this.  She opened her eyes and focused back on him. “What happened with Ci’s album?”  She asked trying to be supportive. What would really be the point in being bitchy about it anyway?

Justin kissed her cheek, happy she wasn’t going to turn this into a fight. “Her album’s not delivering the numbers her label was expecting, so they’re putting a lot of pressure on her to get me to help her promote it.  They think-“

“You can save the album?” It was a statement not a question.

He sighed. He loved that she cared and he had always teased her about wanting to make her jealous, but he never wanted anything or anyone to cause a rift in their relationship. “Babe, she’s a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Yes, a friend.” He stressed, trying to assure her.

She had never been the jealous type, but there just was something about the chick that just rubbed her the wrong way. It was one thing to have a crush, but she feared Ciara’s feelings ran deeper then that and sometimes deep feelings turned into love. “You know I support anything you do.” She forced out. If she protested in anyway he would drop everything to be able to be by her side and that would be plan selfish of her. “You’re right, she’s your friend and you should help in anyway.” She stood up and kissed his cheek. “I’ma go wash my ass.”

Justin relaxed back in his seat relieved the conversation hadn’t turned nasty. Although they fought rarely, their fights were ruthless and usually intensified as they spat venomous words at one another.

She stopped mid way. “I forgot to tell you Shawn’s gonna do a few shows with me.” She said over her shoulder before disappearing upstairs.  If he was willing to be separated from her for months at a time she was going to make him sweat while doing it.

~~~~~~

“…and the winner for best pop/R&B is…”  T. I. watched his fiancé as she tore open the golden envelope, look at the results and hand them to him. Looking down at the small white card a bright smile spread across his face. “Beyoncé Knowles, for Single Ladies!” He shouted. 

The audience stood and clapped for the young “Diva,” as she covered her face from shock.  She was up against some huge names and hadn’t expected to win.  Feeling an elbow from the right jab her in the ribs she looked over at her cousin Angie.

“Girl go on up and get that!” She told her.  Leaning over she kissed her cheek. “Congratulation!” she said continuing to cheese and clap as she watched her walk through the massive crowd of her peers.

Beyoncé nervously smoothed out her black House of Dere'on dress. Making her way down the ale she smiled and thanked those in passing.  After reaching the stairs she lifted up her long gown as an usher assisted her to the podium. She hugged and kissed Tiny and T.I. Giving the hype crowd a few seconds to quite down she stared out into the audience still giving them her signature smile before speaking. “First and for most I want to thank God for truly blessing me…” An up roar of clapping, shouts and l love you’s followed. She blushed.  “I love you too… I want to thank my family and friends for their unconditional love, and I really want to thank the fans… I have the most amazing fans…” Her voice was drowned out by screaming and cheering so she paused.  “I… I love all of you so much.  Y’all always have my back no matter what some people think or say about me in the media!  You guys are why I love and continue to do what I do and I will always give you 100%!” She blew them a kiss and was then rushed back stage.

She was pulled into a dressing room.

“You have a little over a minute to change and get ready for your number Ms. Knowles.” The show’s assistant informed her before leaving and slamming the door behind him.

She stared at the door.  She didn’t have her cloths to change in to.  They were with her personal assistant.

A few seconds past and the door swung open.  In walked Angie with her dress.

She grabbed for it.  “Girlfriend… you are a life saver.”

Angie smiled at her.  “That’s what you pay me for.”

No more then a minute passed before she immerge from the dressing room wearing a long golden brown dress that dipped in the front and back.  She was handed a microphone and reminded of where she was to come in at. Standing on the side of the stage she waited for her q.

Justin was seated center stage behind a piano and mic when the spot lights focused in on him.  The crowd went wild.  “How y’all doin’ tonight?” He smirked at their reaction.  “I was originally asked to perform Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing, but y’all seen that… I wanted to kinda switch it up for you tonight.” The disappointment was evident.  Everyone had been anticipating him performing with Beyoncé. “I thought we’d do something special.” He started playing the familiar rift to “Until the End of Time,” and the reaction was massive.  He chuckled.  “Ya’ll don’t mind do you? I’m gonna bring out someone special to me and you… Ms. Beyoncé Knowles.”  As he stood the band behind him took over.

Beyoncé met him center stage and he interlocked their hand as he led the song.  They delivered a classic and memorable performance.  The chemistry was electric and the crowd ate it up.

~~~~~~

“Flight 101 to New York is now boarding.”

Justin played with her hands not ready to look up yet.

Both stood as B. Scott rounded the corner with his carry on bag.  “Hey love muffin’s!

Beyoncé turned to look at Justin.  Both of them had agreed to keep their goodbye short.  It was easier that way, but they hadn’t said anything yet and tears were already clouding her vision. Wiping them a way she looked up into his blue eyes and did her best to memorize his face.

Justin kissed the top of her head.  Looking into her eyes he traced the outline of her lips with his thumb.  “I miss you already.” He told her in a whisper.

She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. Her heart was breaking. Walking away was always the hardest part. Opening her eyes, she looked back up at him. He was fighting back his own tears. “I love you.” She choked out. 

He lowered his lips to hers for a tender kiss. “I love you more.” He breathed against her lips as he moved a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He pulled her body to his for a tight embrace and she bared her face in his chest breathing in his scent as her tears soaked his shirt.

“Flight 101 to New York is now boarding.”

He pulled back and gave her one last kiss on her lips.  “Make sure you call when you land.”  He reminded.

“Okay,’ she sniffled.

“How long are you in New York?”

“Probably a day or so to shoot those videos and then we’ll fly out.”

“Promise you won’t over do it?”

She gave him a teary smile. “I’ll try.”

He kissed their intertwined hands.  “I love you.”

B. Scott took her free hand and pulled her in the direction of their flight.  Justin held on tight until it was nearly impossible, he then forced himself to let go. “Take care of her.”

B. Scott wrapped his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

Justin watched them until the crowd swallowed them up.

... to be continued.

A/N: Please leave a comment.

Although they didn’t perform,”Ain’t Nothing like the Real Thing,” I wanted to post the link to that performance.  I thought it was cute.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXpcTBYB4jU