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The Confrontation       a JOVAN story a One shot

“John, if I could do it without being charged with assault and battery I would knock you out right now.  How dare you stand here and say that this doesn’t have anything to do with me.  I’m the one who helped you get that DNA test and you conveniently kept the results to yourself.  Hid them away in your closet so we find out later. Allowed a man who didn’t know who he was to go to prison just so that you could have his wife.  What kind of monster are you?  I don’t know you and now I see that I never knew you. It’s a good thing that you never said that you loved me because it would have been a lie.  You don’t know what love is.  If you loved Natalie so much you would have wanted her to be happy whether that was with you or with her husband Christian.  But no, you John McBain, the all knowing John McBain knew what was best for her and me and Christian.  Even if Christian asked you not to tell, anyone in his or her right mind would not have gone along with that nonsense.  Forget Natalie, she’d take you however she can get you, but what about Christian’s family?  What about his mother and brother?  Something in that pea brain of yours should have told you that they should have been told that it was Christian.  You two were so worried about Natalie and gave no thought to Carlotta or Antonio.  You were both out of your minds.  What does that child have, a magic crotch that have two men acting like idiots.  Whatever it is you were both wrong and now I have to clean up your mess.

“Evangeline, what do you mean clean up our mess? Are you taking Christian’s case?”

“Yes I am and everything that you have done will be exposed John.  I will also bring charges against you for withholding evidence in a case that sent a man to prison.”

“Evangeline you can’t do this.  What will this do to Natalie?  Are you doing this because we broke up?”

“Get over yourself John.  Unlike you I take my job seriously and abide by the rules. Rules to which you too are supposed to adhere but it seems you only do that when it doesn’t involve Natalie. Also unlike you I am considering Carlotta and Antonio in this.  They should have been the first persons to know of John Doe/Christian Vega’s true identity.  This might cost you your job so prepare yourself.”

“You’re not cruel Evangeline, think about Natalie.  Think about what this will do to her.”

“Okay John. I will think about Natalie as much as Natalie would think about me.  Does that satisfy you?  Natalie wouldn’t care a rat’s ass, pardon my French, about me, she never has.  If she had she would not have inserted herself so often in our relationship.  But she didn’t have to do much because you were never in the relationship either.  I did all of the heavy lifting you just did the heavy ‘panting and moaning’, if you get my drift.”

Natalie walks in as Evangeline finishes.  

“Why are you here Evangeline? John and I are together now.”

“Enjoy that while you can Natalie.  I’m leaving.”

“What do you mean, ‘enjoy it while I can?’ she said as she grabbed Evangeline’s arm.

Evangeline jerked her arm away and said to Natalie,

“Don’t ever touch me again or you will find yourself in jail for assault and served with a restraining order.  Now good night to you both.”

Evangeline left with her head held high and a smile on a face. She thought to herself as she sat in her car to return to her office to start the paperwork on Christian’s case,

‘I was a force to be reckoned with when I first came to this town.  I got caught up in RJ and then John and grew weak and complacent.  No more, it’s time to take back my strength and I owe it all to John.  Let the chips fall where they may.  If John were here now I would say to him something I heard on one of the ‘Suits’ TV show episodes, ‘you’ve released the dragon, how you like me now?’

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The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 2    The Dragon Released

My, my, my how things have changed since the discovery that the John Doe in Statesville prison is really Christian Vega.  Here’s what happened after Evangeline left John’s apartment after confronting him about the DNA test results.

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‘You’ve released the dragon John. How you like me now?’ I think about what just happened in John’s apartment when I confronted him about the DNA test results.  The nerve of him trying to dismiss me with that ‘it has nothing to do with you’ nonsense or the even crazier, ‘you can’t do this to Natalie’.  Once again he’s trying to ‘protect’ Natalie. You would think that the woman is two years old and can’t think for herself.  Well she really can’t think for herself but she’s definitely not two years old.  Anyway that is not my concern.  Right now I have to think about getting a wrongly convicted man released from prison.  So what if John loses his job along the way.  Let justice be served.

I make it back to my office and start working on my motion to have Christian released to St. Anne’s for a psych evaluation and to have his conviction overturned.  I also will file a motion to have John brought up on charges for obstruction of justice.  He withheld vital information in a court case that resulted in the wrongful conviction of a man. Even if I have to work all night on this I will have it done by morning to present to the Assistant District Attorney Hugh Hughes.  I do need to consider my involvement in the DNA testing though and must protect myself against any fall back from that.  I finish the motions and decide to handle the DNA test thing tonight.

I call Antonio and ask to meet with him and his mother at her diner.   I arrive and sit with them at a booth in the back.  I explain to them the information that I have on Christian and my involvement in the DNA test.  I apologize to Carlotta for taking her sample without her approval and tell her that I made face charges regarding my involvement in obtaining an unauthorized sample.  She dismisses my apology and takes a piece of paper and writes on it that she releases me from any culpability in obtaining the sample.  She has two of her patrons to sign as witnesses.  I thank her for that and go on to tell them that I am working to have Christian released to St. Anne’s for psychological examination and to have his conviction overturned.  Antonio interjects that he will retain me to represent his brother.  He doesn’t want me to do this as pro bono simply because I obtained the sample for the DNA.  With that done I tell them that I will let them know when Christian is released and arrange for them to see him.  I apologize again and return to my office to file Carlotta’s statement with the motions that I will present in the morning.  

Once back in my apartment I shower off the dust of the day and prepare for bed.  I go to the kitchen for a warm glass of milk and just as I exit I hear a knock on my door.  I go to the door and look through the peephole and see Natalie standing there.  Hesitantly I open the door.

“What do you want Natalie?”

“What did you do to John?  After you left he wouldn’t talk to me.  What did you say to him to upset him?  Are you doing this because he loves me and doesn’t love you?”

“Natalie I can’t answer your question as to why John won’t talk to you.  He’s the only one who can do that.  Your relationship with John is not my concern. I removed myself from any involvement with John months ago.  Now I have a busy day tomorrow so if you will excuse me I would like to go to bed.”

“Evangeline leave John and me alone.  He doesn’t want you.”

“For once I agree with you Natalie and with that I will say good night.  And please do not come here again.”

“Don’t worry I won’t as long as you leave us alone.”

I close the door and return to the kitchen.  I drink my milk, wash the glass and put it away. Once again I hear a knock at my door.  What is this tonight? Am I Grand Central Station?

I check the peephole and there stands John McBain.  I open the door and stand in the doorway. I don’t want him in my apartment. Thinking back I should have done the same thing to Natalie.  Now I need to air out my apartment.

“What do you want John?”

“Are you going to pursue this Evangeline?  Why can’t you leave it alone?  Christian did kill Tico Santi so he’s not innocent in all of this.”

“John I will not discuss this with you in the middle of the night.  I have a busy day ahead tomorrow and I really need my sleep.  Please leave now and don’t return.”

“Are you so bitter that you would do this?  How will this affect Carlotta and Antonio?”

“Oh now you think about Carlotta and Antonio.  You should have thought about them when you first received those DNA test results.  Good night John. I’m tired.”

I close the door in his face and go to my bedroom to sleep.  The nerve of some people.

Oddly enough morning comes and I am well rested.  I dress in my power suit and head for court. I meet ADA Hughes in his office and we meet and talk for a good hour.  He understands and agrees with my motions and we head to court.  The judge rules in my favor on both motions. Christian is released to St. Anne’s and after the psych evaluation the judge will overturn his conviction. I arrange for Antonio and Carlotta to visit Christian at St. Anne’s.  John is arrested for obstruction of justice.  The judge waives jail time for him but he is suspended from the police force until further notice.  The judge does criticize for my involvement in the DNA testing but Carlotta’s statement lessens the harshness of his criticism.  I take note to never do such again.  The judge, surprisingly, compliments on pursuing this case in the cause of justice.  He says that the system needs more dedicated attorneys like me. I thank him and leave the court feeling satisfied with the results.

Neither John nor Natalie darken my door again and for that I am grateful.  I don't ask about him and no one talks to me about him.  Oh wait.  I take that back.  His brother Michael did confront me about his brother's suspension from the police force.  He asked me why did I do that to John.  I told him that he did not have all of the facts and John's punishment fit the offense.  With that I ended the conversation and went on my way.

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The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 3    Need for a Workout

Months later and another day in the life of a busy defense attorney. No rest for the weary for as soon as I finished with Christian’s case I still have Todd’s case to handle and things are not going well.  Todd is convicted of murdering Margaret Cochran and her baby.  He’s sentenced to lethal injection in a few months.  I am at my wit’s end in trying to get an appeal.  Just as I am losing all hope of saving Todd I get a call from my private investigator that he’s turned up something that he needs to follow up but it will require travel out of the US.  It’s a good thing that I have a substantial reserve fund so I tell him to go where he needs to go to get the information that will help our client. 

Needing a release from all the stress of Todd’s case I head to the gym for a workout.   I do my usual circuit route and then head for the heavy bag.  I punch that thing with all of my might. It would work better if I put a picture of John on the front of it.  I would get a real workout punching that.  Then who should appear but the man himself?  I glance at him and then continue with my workout. Ignoring his presence I move to the bicycle to spin a few miles.  After that I make it to the showers, change and head out.  All of the time I can feel his eyes on me.  Too late and too bad.  That boat has sailed and sank.

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I see Evangeline when I enter the gym.  She’s at the heavy bag giving it a good work out.  She could handle de la Hoya by the way she’s punching that bag.  She’s probably wishing that it was my head that she was punching and I can’t blame her.  I made a mess of everything for everybody.  Being suspended from the force I have had time to think about all of the wrong things that I have done.  Hurting Evangeline is at the top of the list.  Can’t forget letting Christian go to jail for a crime for which he was not wholly responsible for committing.  And let’s not forget my getting involved with Natalie all the time knowing that she was still a married woman.  With the suspension the department ordered mandatory counseling. I objected at first but now I realize that it’s exactly what I need.  Dr. Crosby has gotten me to finally talk about my dad’s and Caitlin’s deaths and how they affected me and skewed my views on everything from love to family to honor to everything.  

I’ve messed up everybody’s life and made a mess of my career. The one glaring realization in all of this is that the one true chance that I had for love is now lost. Sure I felt something for Natalie. But what was it.  I don’t cheat so how could I have thought that I was in love with her when I knew all along that she was still married. The two don’t mix.  Loving and being with her while she was still married goes against everything that I believe.  Evangeline was right.  I may no have been unfaithful to her physically but I was unfaithful to her emotionally and that wasn’t right. And if I had wanted to be with Natalie I had every opportunity to do that even when I was with Evangeline.  Several times Evangeline tried to walk away from our relationship but I kept telling her that I didn’t want us to be over. If I loved Natalie so much why didn’t I let Evangeline go when she offered to go?  Why?  Because I was telling the truth when I told Evangeline that if I were ever to say the words ‘I love you’ it would be to her and that she ‘made me feel things that I never thought that I would feel again’.  All of that was true so why didn’t I tell her that I love her? It was easier to tell Natalie because she wouldn’t pressure me the way that Evangeline would.  Evangeline would call me on my mess whereas Natalie would just let me be.  Now I know that I needed someone to argue with me, to force me to see my true self and not the self that I project to others.  Evangeline tried to help me with that but I pushed her away. Natalie won’t talk to me now because I lied to her about Christian but Christian asked me not to tell her. But that’s not the only reason. Yes I wanted Natalie for myself because I was tired of being alone.  Evangeline wouldn’t have anything to do with me so why not.  No I can’t blame anyone but myself for this mess. Now how do I fix this? Evangeline won’t even look at me. I know that she sees me but she ignores me.  I don’t dare try to talk to her now.  I will bide my time.  Maybe time will ‘heal all wounds’.  I hope so because I need her.  Who?  Evangeline.  I know now what I should have known all along.  That woman is it for me and some how I’ve got to get her back in my life.  I have no idea how but that won’t prevent me from trying.  First things first though.  I have to continue with my therapy with Dr. Crosby.  Maybe he has some ideas on how I might get Evangeline back.

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The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 4    Todd's Case Surprise

With time running out on me saving Todd from lethal injection I am at my wit’s end on how to save him when I get a cryptic call from my PI to meet him at the court house with the ADA and armed guards.  I have no idea what’s going on but my PI has never let me down before so I make the specified arrangements.  ADA Hughes, two armed guards and I sit in the conference room waiting when enters my PI and to our surprise, Margaret Cochran.  He has her handcuffed to him and pushes her into the room ahead of him.  

“I am Private Investigator Brian Martin, license #413872.  I have in custody, one Margaret Cochran.  Found her in Thailand. As you can see she is very much alive.  I have her in handcuffs to ensure her safe return to Llanview.  She has not been harmed.  I release her into your custody.”

“Mr. Martin, on behalf of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, we thank you for your service.  Ms. Cochran, do you know why you are here?  Do you know that Mr. Todd Manning was convicted of your murder and that of your child?  What do you have to say to this?

“Todd was convicted of my murder?  How can that be?  I am not dead.  This is all Spencer’s fault.  He said that I was to go away and he would help me get Todd because he wants Blair.  He took my child to force me to cooperate with him.  Where is my child?”

“Ms. Cochran we know nothing of this.  Dr. Truman testified for the defense in Mr. Manning’s case.  Why would he want to help Todd if what you say is true?”

“That’s the way that Spencer is.  He tricks you into thinking that he’s on your side when all the time he only cares about himself.  He wants Blair and he will do anything to get her.  Putting Todd await for murder is one way to do that.  I will write a statement about all that I have said and I have one other piece of evidence.  Spencer didn’t know that I didn’t trust him totally so I taped our conversations.  They are still in my old apartment hidden where no one will find them. I can tell your officer where to find them and you will then have the evidence that you need to deal with Dr. Spencer Truman but you have to help me find my son.  Spencer took him from me to guarantee my cooperation.”

“First things first Ms. Cochran, tell this officer where he can find the tapes and once we verified your story we will handle Dr. Truman but not before.  If he is a devious as you say we don’t want to give him any opportunity to wiggle out of a conviction.  We will call in the federal authorities on this case for it not only involves obstruction of justice, but also kidnapping and extortion.  So have a seat and make yourself comfortable Ms. Cochran.  Attorney Williamson and I need to file paperwork to have Mr. Manning’s conviction overturned and have him released from prison.  If you had not arrived now it would have been too late to save Mr. Manning from lethal injection.”

“Lethal injection!  They were going to kill Todd for murdering me?  But I’m not dead.  This is too cruel.  You have to get Spencer for doing this to all of us.  He has to be stopped!”

“With your help he will.  Just wait here.”

ADA Hughes instructed the two officers.  One was to go to Ms. Cochran’s old apartment and retrieve the tapes.  ADA Hughes will have the warrant prepared for the officer to take with him.  The other officer is to take Ms. Cochran to a holding cell for her protection and to prevent her escape.  He left instructions that she is to be constantly observed. At no time is she to be left alone.  Two people with her at all times.  Keep her in handcuffs except to use the facilities and then two female officers are to accompany her. 

After meeting with Margaret Cochran everything else happened like a whirlwind.  

-The officer obtained Margaret's tapes and had them transcribed.

-Todd Manning was released from prison and his conviction was overturned.

-Dr. Spencer Truman was arrested and the federal authorities took him into custody.

-Dr. Truman tried to barter for his release by refusing to tell where he hid the child but when his arrest hit the national newspapers someone came forth with information on the location of the child.

-The authorities rescued the child and the courts are now trying to determine who should have custody of him.  Todd Manning wants custody of the child as does Margaret Cochran.  The child for now remains in foster care until the courts can decide custody.

Whew!  I am exhausted but a good exhausted.  I am so glad that Todd is free and back at home.  He has his children with him, except the child that Margaret had.  He barred Blair from his home.  He will not even allow her to drop the kids off at his house.  He picks them up from Dorian’s house and drops them off there.  Of course Todd gave my PI a huge bonus for saving him and he paid me an exorbitant amount for handling his case.  He said that it wasn’t enough to pay for all that I did for him.  I never gave up on him and for that he is most grateful.  

I need a vacation after all of this.  What a year I have had.  In one year’s time I’ve won two major court cases that’s the positive but on the other end of the spectrum I’ve been kidnapped and set afire. My what a year!  I need a break but I still have other cases that I need to handle but I will take this weekend off and do just nothing. Sit around my apartment in my pajamas, watch movies, eat popcorn and just relax.  Just me and myself.  We make a good team.

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The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 5     How to Make a Start

The guys at the office still keep me up to date on the news at the station so I was pleased to hear of Evangeline’s success with the Manning case.  Good for her. She never gave up on Todd Manning. Not that he’s worth her effort but everyone deserves a good defense and Evangeline is the best defense attorney that I know.  She believed that her client was innocent and so he was.  I remember what it’s like to have her support you.  I had that once and gave it up.  Stupid me and now look at me.  But I won’t wallow in my sorrow.  I will rise above it.  I have things to do to make things better and I will do them.  

Dr. Crosby, with a bit of coaxing from me, has given me some ideas on how to get Evangeline back to at least acknowledging that I exist.  He would not go so far as to give me any pointers on how to win her heart back because he thinks that I’m setting myself up for failure.  After what I told him what happened between us he doesn’t think that she will take me back.  But I will not give up.  She loved me once maybe she will love me again.  Anyway I digress.  He suggested that I move.  This apartment has too many negative memories and I need a new outlook on life.  Even though there are vacancies in Evangeline’s building I don’t want her to think that I’m stalking her so I find an apartment in a nice neighborhood and quite affordable. 

Although on suspension I am still drawing a paycheck.  Dr. Crosby’s weekly reports keep the judge from ordering any jail time for the obstruction charge.  The judge has decided that my suspension is enough punishment since Christian Vega has released me from any culpability. I appreciate that from Christian but I won’t approach him to thank him.  He and I give each other a wide berth and avoid each other whenever possible.  Natalie still doesn’t talk to me and I’m glad for that because I have nothing to say to her. Michael stops by from time to time but other than that I’m pretty much on my own.  I did get a bit of good news today.  Dr. Crosby says that I should be able to go back to work in two weeks.  He will sign off on the ‘return to work’ paperwork if Bo agrees to it.  I know that I disappointed Bo and I apologized to him. It will take a lot of work on my part to regain his trust and respect.  So I will use these two weeks on trying to figure a way to get back into Evangeline’s good graces.  I have an idea.  I will send to her a movie and a can of popcorn.  She likes movies and she likes popcorn.  Something simple to start.  Well here goes.

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Friday finally arrives and I’m all set for my weekend alone. I set out my movies, popcorn, and drinks and get ready for my shower when I hear a knock at the door. I’m not expecting anybody so I check the peephole and see a delivery guy.  I opened the door and he hands me two packages.  I sign for them and return to my living room. I open the packages and see ‘Casablanca’ videocassette and a can of popcorn.  Who sent these?  I read the card, ‘You can say a lot without talking’.  ‘Enjoy’.  It’s from John.  Why would he send these to me?  I don’t have time for this.  Let me take my shower and get started with my movie night.

By the end of the movie I’m remembering that we never did make it to the Thalia to see ‘Casablanca’.  That’s when our relationship was just starting and it was new and exciting. We did have some good times but unfortunately the bad outweighed the good.  Look at us now.  We don’t even talk to each other.  We treat each other like we’re strangers, like we were never even friends.  I know that he’s suspended and that must be killing him because his job is his life.  Well nothing that I can do about that and anyway he brought that on himself.  The movie was good and I’m ready for bed.  No more thoughts of John.

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I hope that she liked the movie and popcorn.  We never did make it to the theatre to see ‘Casablanca’ that time.  Something I was doing probably got in the way.  What I wouldn’t do for another chance with her.  I will continue to try.  I can’t give up.  My life depends on it.  I know that a movie and a can of popcorn will not do to get her back but it’s a start.  

Another idea comes to mind on how I might reach out to Evangeline. It is a risk but one that I am willing to take. With pen and paper in hand I start writing a letter to her. These letters will tell her all about John McBain, from childhood up to the present time.  Maybe it will prompt a response from her but nevertheless I will send them to her.  I want her to know me even if I cannot tell her face-to-face.  As I write it offers me some release too.  I’ve told most of this to Dr. Crosby but some specifics I leave only for Evangeline’s eyes.  The first letter takes up about five pages and the others average even more.  Every other day I send her a letter.  This goes on for a month before I notice a change.  Coming in from work one evening I sort through my mail and imagine my delight when I find a letter from Evangeline.  She starts out by saying that she thanks me for the letters and then she tells me about her childhood.  I am overwhelmed and overjoyed.  

The letters continue back and forth but still when we see each other in person we are tentative and careful of our words and glances. I hate this.  I hate that we’re not comfortable with each other and it’s all my fault.  I won’t push though.  If we have to take it slowly then slowly we will go.

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The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 6      The Road to Renewal

When people say that life is short do they really realize how quickly things can change in a moment? Christian Vega’s life was snatched away in a moment by someone who wanted to use him for nefarious reasons; Todd’s life was snatched away by someone who wanted Todd’s wife; my life was snatched away by someone who wanted to hurt John.  When I say snatched away I don’t mean that we died but the life that we had was snatched away and now we are living a new life.  I have to find a way to find some peace in my life. These court cases and my own assault have left me very fragile.  No way can I make any major decisions about anything until I can once again find my balance.  That is why I limit my interactions with John.  Some part of me still wonders what would have happened if he had opened himself up to love me but the other part still harbors anger against him for all that transpired between us.

It did surprise me when I received the first letter from him. Then with the additional letters arriving every other day I found myself looking forward to receiving them. After a month or so I decide to respond to his letters.  I start out slowly talking about my childhood and then about so many other things about my life that I had not shared with anyone.  John also opened up to me in his letters. Why couldn’t he talk like this when we were together?  Don’t think about that Evangeline it will only upset you and you don’t need that.  I’m talking to myself again.  It’s just as well with Nora still not available.  I pray that my friend recovers soon.

With Todd’s conviction overturned I have more time for my other clients and word of my successful defense of Todd spread and I have more clients than I can handle so I refer them out to my colleagues in town who are most grateful for the new clients.  The clients that I do keep get the best defense possible which keeps me very busy.  But all work and no play makes for a very dull existence so I think that it is time for me to get back to living.

Checking the events calendar in the newspaper I notice several items that prick my fancy.  There’s a new play at the cultural center, a new opera at symphony hall, and tee times at the golf course.  I need to get back in to the swing of things.  Not having a date companion will not stop me from enjoying myself.  I can always ask Todd to accompany me but I don’t want my eyes scratched out by Blair Cramer. Who knows I just might meet someone new.  With that in mind I purchase tickets for the play and the opera.  The golf tee times work great for Saturday.  Whew!  I feel better already.

There is one other thing that I need to do.  I call Dr. Jamison and schedule a therapy session with him.  After everything that has happened it would prove beneficial to me to strengthen my psychological and emotional resolve.  The first session I explain what I want to accomplish in the course of the therapy and I tell him what has happened to bring me to this point.  Of course most of it centers on my relationship with my father and with John.  Dr. Jamison does comment on the similarities of my relationships with both men just as my mother did.  I was hoping that my mother was wrong when she said that when we went to my great aunt’s funeral but now Dr. Jamison, a psychiatrist, stated the same thing. I do need help.  Well if this will make smooth my road to renewal then I will do what must be done.  In telling Dr. Jamison about the letters that John and I have exchanged he became hesitant as to whether that is a good idea.  He states that continuing to correspond with John while still harboring unresolved feelings for him may do more harm than good.  But what do I do now.  Do I just stop writing?  That will seem very rude.  Dr. Jamison explains that I can simply say that I must take a break now to get to work on myself without any distractions.  Perhaps when I am better we can converse again.  That seems reasonable to me.  We schedule weekly sessions for after work. He gives me no clue as to how long this will take but I know that I have to do this for me.  I can’t go on half here and half somewhere else because I don’t know where that somewhere else is but I do know that I don’t feel whole.

Returning to my apartment with a new resolve, I write the letter to John telling him that we must discontinue the letters because I must concentrate on my own psychological and emotional healing.  I further explain that my therapist recommends that I spend all my energies on me and not on trying to keep the lines of communication open with him and that to continue may cause me more harm than good and so I must heed my therapist’s advise.  Wanting John to receive this letter immediately I hand deliver it to his office at the police station.

When I arrive at the station I hear him on the phone with the medical examiner.  I wait for him to end his call.  When I hear him hang up the phone I enter his offer and hand the letter to him.

“I wanted you to have this immediately so I decided to hand deliver it.  I don’t have time to talk so just read it and you will have a complete explanation.  Good night.”

“Wait Evangeline!  What is this about?”

“Just read it John.  I have to go.”

I know that it’s the coward’s way out but it’s the best way for me.  He now has the letter and when he reads it he will know everything.  It’s time to take care of me.  All right back home and shower, eat and to bed.  Another day, another dollar.

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Why did she run out of here?  What’s in the letter?  I open it and read it.  She can’t continue to write to me.  She’s in therapy, that’s good.  Writing to me distracts her and may harm her in the long run.  I don’t want that.  I’m glad that she’s taking time for herself.  I can wait.  I’m good at waiting.  I know how helpful therapy can be so I won’t press her.  She and I have come a long way from, “John, if I could do it without being charged with assault and battery I would knock you out right now.  How dare you stand here and say that this doesn’t have anything to do with me.”  That’s what she said when she walked into my apartment after finding out that I knew that the DNA test results revealed the real Christian Vega. It’s a wonder that she even talks to me now.  I will wait for her. She’s worth it.  That ‘confrontation’ was probably the best thing to happen to me.  It prompted me to get my life together. I too will continue my therapy sessions with Dr. Crosby.  Perhaps I will take up some new hobbies instead of sitting in my apartment brooding.  What were some of those date ideas that Evangeline gave to me several years ago?  Tee times at the golf course, recipes, movies at the Thalia.  I need to get back to living.  When I get home I will check the events section in the newspaper and see what’s on the calendar.

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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 7      Lessons

After checking the events section in the newspaper I note several things that interest me.  The community center offers classes on learning about ballet, opera and cooking. Why did I never notice this before now?  These are the kinds of things that Evangeline likes.  I could have taken these classes way back when and brought more to our relationship than just my brooding.  Well I know now I will take full advantage of them.  Now to find where I can learn how to golf or to play tennis.  Spending time in these endeavors will help me to keep my mind off of not communicating with Evangeline.  I was really enjoying exchanging letters with her.  That gives me an idea.  I will continue to write to her but I won’t mail the letters so when or if she talks to me again then I will give them to her and she will know what I have been thinking while she is away from me.  I like that plan.

The first ballet appreciation class takes place this Saturday at 10:00 a.m.  I arrive at 9:55 and sit in the back of the class.  Earlier in the week I purchased a Ballet for Dummies book and started reading it so that I don’t appear totally stupid during the class.  In walks the instructor and the class begins.  The first class consists of discussion on the classic ballets The Nutcracker and Swan Lake and the five basic ballet positions of Adagio, Allegro, Arabesque, Barre and  Battement Tendu and the three movements of plie (plee-ay), releve (ruh-leh-vay) and sauté (soh-tay).  It relieves me to no end that the instructor reminds us that this is not a class to learn to ‘dance’ ballet but a class to learn to ‘appreciate’ ballet. I do walk away from the class with a new appreciation of ballet and an immense thankfulness that I will never have to learn how to dance ballet.  So I will return on next Saturday, same time, same location.  

The opera appreciation class in right next-door and so I go in and sit to wait for the instructor to arrive.  With my handy, Opera for Dummies book I’m ready to learn.  Once again we discuss the basics of opera and the instruction reemphasizes that this is an appreciation class and jokingly say that we will do no singing in this class.  Whew what a relief!  Folks will run out of class if I start singing my voice is so bad.  Well now I know how my Saturday schedule will look for the next month, ballet and opera classes from 10:00 a.m. until 12:00 p.m.  Oh what joy!  No seriously, I learned a lot today and will tough it out for the month.  Now it is time for lunch.  

Since Evangeline told me that she couldn’t write to me anymore I have not seen much of her.  Maybe I’ll see her at the diner.  I have a taste for a cheeseburger and fries.  I remember a conversation that she and I had when she came into the diner while I was eating a cheeseburger and fries, something about her winning a case and Roger Clemens.  The diner is a bit crowded so I have to wait a while to get a seat and once I settle in I look around and unfortunately I don’t see Evangeline.  Oh well maybe sometime this week I will see her. I have to testify in two cases at court so perhaps I will see her in the courthouse.  Just as my order arrives I look up and see Dr. Jamison. I am surprised to see him because he is not a usual customer.  He’s more of a Palace kind of guy.  He sees me and walks over and asks if he can sit.  I say yes.

“Hello Mr. McBain how are you today?”

“I’m doing better Dr. Jamison, how are you?”

“I’m glad that I bumped into you Mr. McBain.  Have you spoken with Ms. Williamson recently?”

“No Doctor I haven’t, not since she told me that she could no longer write to me.  I have neither seen nor heard from her.”

“Mr. McBain I know that this may sound very strange to you but I will ask any way. What are your intentions with Ms. Williamson?  The two of you were very publicly involved and had an acrimonious split up.  As you can imagine this had a very adverse effect on Ms. Williamson.”

“Doctor I understand that and just for your information it had a very adverse effect on me too.”

“But the difference is Mr. McBain, you went on to another relationship after the break up and with the one person who was a major interference while you were involved with Ms. Williamson.  That added to the trauma of the break up for Ms. Williamson.  With you now trying to reestablish a relationship with her only brings up reminders of the hurt from the break up which from which she has not fully recovered.”

“Is that why we can’t write to each other anymore?”

“To what end Mr. McBain?  What do you want from Ms. Williamson?  Didn’t she suffer enough from her first involvement with you why would you submit her to another one?”

“Doctor this conversation in getting very personal, is there somewhere else we can talk?”

“This is not a consultation Mr. McBain, just a casual conversation, but yes we can talk. Why don’t we grab our food to go and I know of quiet place in the park that we can talk.  It backs up to a wall and no one can hear our conversation without our first seeing them approach.  I use it for my patients with claustrophobia.  Wide-open spaces allow them to relax.  Are you ready?”

“Yes Doctor, let’s go.”

We walk to the park to an area that I have never visited.  It is secluded and quiet.  We sit and start to eat.  After a few moments Dr. Jamison resumes the conversation,

“What do you want from Ms. Williamson Mr. McBain?  Even though you and Mrs. Vega are no longer together it does not negate the fact that you withheld information about her husband while you and Ms. Williamson were involved and after your break up with Ms. Williamson you entered into a physical relationship with Mrs. Vega even though you knew that she was still married.  Although you and Ms. Williamson were no longer together when your relationship started with Mrs. Vega the knowledge that you knew all along that Christian Vega was alive had to have negatively impacted Ms. Williamson.  Now that your duplicity has been revealed and you are suspended from the police force how can you seriously believe that it would be good for Ms. Williamson to once again allow you in her life?  You hurt her deeply Mr. McBain, can’t you see that?  Telling her now how sorry you are does little to alleviate the hurt that you inflicted on her. Allow her to heal completely Mr. McBain.  You kept away from her while you were with Mrs. Vega so now that Mrs. Vega is no longer an option why would you think that Ms. Williamson should take you back.  Do you expect her to be your rebound?”

“No Doctor I don’t expect Evangeline to be my rebound.  I know that what I did was wrong.  It’s all out in public now so I don’t need to tell you anything more about the Christian Vega case but I will say this.  I miss what I had with Evangeline. She made me feel worthwhile.  I know that may not sound like a lot but for a man like me who didn’t feel like I measure up until I solve my father’s case, feeling worthwhile goes a long way to helping me make it through the day.  Yes Evangeline and I broke up but it was not what I wanted.  I wanted to stay in the relationship with, yes even knowing that I was withholding vital information from her about Christian Vega.  Everything I did was wrong and I know that now.  I too am in therapy Doctor and it is helping me to resolve the major issues that I have with feelings and letting people in.  Yes I mean ‘major’ issues.  I have hurt many people because of my issues but I have also hurt myself.  I want Evangeline in my life.  I want a relationship with her.  I don’t want to hurt her, I want to love her.  If staying away from me will help her to heal then I will stay away from her. This will hurt me to do but I would rather sustain the hurt than cause any more hurt to her.  But Doctor is there any way for us to make it through this without hurting each other and work towards a relationship?  I have not attempted to see her or talk to her since she told me to stop writing to her.  It may sound selfish of me, and I don’t mean to be selfish in this.  Evangeline has gone above and beyond with dealing with my stupidity.  How can I help her Doctor?  That’s the bottom line now.  How can I help Evangeline to heal, even if after she’s healed she wants nothing to do with me, I still what to help her?”

“Allow her to take the lead.  If she invites you to sit with her at the diner, do so but don’t invite yourself to sit.  If or when you talk with her again let her know that you want what is best for her and will help in anyway in making that happen.  I am not betraying doctor patient confidentiality when I say that she may still love you Mr. McBain but she’s angry with herself for having those feelings after all that has transpired between the two of you.  You have very little to offer Ms. Williamson until you are mentally and emotionally healthy.  If you truly want to love her, love yourself first and give her the best of you.”

“I understand what you are saying Dr. Jamison, but can you tell me if we have a time table on this?”

“No we don’t Mr. McBain.  Just know that in the end it will be well worth the wait.  Ms. Williamson is a remarkable woman and it is unfortunate that you did not see that the first time around.  But you had your problems that prevented you from seeing clearly. It is good to know that you are on the road to recovery.  Learn from your mistakes Mr. McBain and don’t repeat them.  Just remember that once Ms. Williamson is healed she may not want you in her life.  Prepare yourself for that possibility.”

“Don’t worry Dr. Jamison I know that we have a long tough road ahead of us but I will do all that I can to succeed.  I thank you for taking the time to talk with me.  If it will prove helpful for you to talk with my therapist in treating Ms. Williamson I will sign a waiver or whatever so that can happen.”

“I don’t think that it will be necessary Mr. McBain I think that I have all the information that I need simply by talking with you.  If I should change my mind about that I will contact you. Thanks for the offer it shows a sincerity on your part of really wanting to help Ms. Williamson.”

“That’s exactly what I want to do Dr. Jamison.  Now it’s getting late and I want to enjoy the rest of my Saturday. Have a good day.”

“You also Mr. McBain.  Thank you for your time.”

While returning to my apartment I think about my conversation with Dr. Jamison and feel a little melancholy that I won’t get to talk with Evangeline for a while so I sit and start writing a letter.  She may not receive it for a long time but at least she will know that I was thinking about her during this time apart. When I woke up this morning little did I know the many lessons that I would learn today.

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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 8      The Opera

The Barber of Seville. The Barber of Seville (in Italian: Il barbiere di Siviglia) is a comic opera (opera buffa) in two acts by the composer Gioachino Rossini. The libretto (words) are based on a comedy by Pierre Beaumarchais called The Barber of Seville.  A young woman, Rosina, is ward to an older man, Bartolo, who wants to marry her for her money.  A rich young man, Count Almaviva sees her and falls in love with her.  He disguises himself as a poor man, Lindoro, and pursues her with the help of the barber, Figaro.  Bartolo convinces the Rosina that the Lindoro is not trustworthy so she should marry him, Bartolo.  Bartolo arranges for a ceremony that evening.  The barber and the young man meet the young woman in her room and convince her of the of young man’s love for her.  They marry.  The older man arrives too late and is enraged.  The young man tells the old man that he can keep the girl’s money because he will take care of her.  The old man is now satisfied that he has the money.

Well months have passed since Dr. Jamison told me that I should no longer write to John and I have held fast to that decision. Concentrating on myself has its rewards.  Working out at the gym, playing tennis, golfing, attending performances of ballet and modern dance have reinvigorated me.  Sessions with Dr. Jamison have helped me to regain my balance.  I feel renewed.  My sessions are no longer once a week but now once a month. I just needed a bit of direction and the sessions helped in that.  I feel better about myself and with continued prayer I will get even better.

Although I have not written to John I have seen him on occasion out and about.  The last time that I saw him I had just finished lunch with a client at the Palace and he entered looking for his brother Michael who was dining with Marcie.  He nodded and said hello and started to walk by me but I stopped him to inquire how he was.  He said that he was improving and that it was good to see me.  I invited him to sit with me but he said that he was only in for a minute and needed to talk with his brother.  I said all right and he left.  I must admit that I was a little disappointed but I didn’t know why.  I have kept my distance from him and I guess that I was a little excited to see him and wanted to at least spend some time with him.  Well that is a change for me.  I’ve moved from wanting to knock him out to wanting to spend time with him.  

I discussed this with Dr. Jamison and he simply said that it was a natural progression.  I am finding my balance and am now more secure in my feelings and not harboring anger for feeling any particular way and so my genuine love for John is beginning to reemerge.  Wow that was a surprise.  I didn’t think that I had any love left in me for John but I guess it was deep down under all of that hurt and pain and anger and disgust.  If I am really truthful to myself I also felt anger and hurt and pain about my father too.  I did everything to please him and get a little, ‘I love you’ from him too.  Can’t tell you how great if feels to let go of all of that and now I can see clearly that the problem wasn’t me it was each of them.  At least John is trying to get better.  My father didn’t live long enough to do the same.  

But Dr. Jamison did suggest that I take everything slowly.  As an objective observer of John and me he can see that we both have feelings for each other and can’t seem to decide how we want to progress with those feelings.  Just let them go and they will lead you where you need to be he suggested.  It’s when we force them in a particular direction is when we have problems.  That brought to mind a line from a Different World episode when Whitley is in therapy and her therapist tells her to let go of her feelings, ‘relax, relate, and release’. So I guess I will ‘relax, relate, and release’.  As a celebration of my enlightenment I will take in an opera this Friday night. Glad that tickets are still available at this late date.  This is one of my favorites.  I will get dressy for this. I feel good.

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Friday arrives and my day is not as busy as I anticipated and for that I am glad.  Tonight I am doing something that I have never done before and I have no idea how this will turn out or if I will even enjoy it but from the title of the event how can I go wrong.  With my suit all cleaned and shirt starched and my tie matching, shoes shined, I am ready to face this new adventure.  The curtain time is at 7:30 p.m. and I don’t want to arrive late.  Do they have assigned seats at these things? Yes the ticket shows a section and seat number so I guess that answers that question.  I hope that I don’t fall asleep during the presentation because I tend to do that when I am bored.  I’m too nervous to eat so I’m glad that I had a big lunch.  Now I will see how much I learned from my Saturday lessons. Well here goes nothing.

Wow, I’ve never been in this building before now.  It is quite impressive.  People are starting to go in to the main area so I’d better go to my seat now.  Pretty good seat where I can see all of the action.  It took a long time for me to decide which presentation to choose as my first foray into this genre but the title caught my eye and I figured that I couldn’t go wrong with this one.  The others had such strange names that you would need an interpreter simply to pronounce them.  The start time is quickly approaching so here goes nothing.  The seat next to me is vacant, guess the person who bought the ticket decided not to attend.  

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How did the time get by me like that?  Whew!  I made it without a minute to spare.  Let me find my seat before they close the doors.  Yes, section 1, seat 29, good location to see everything.  Oh, here it is. Looks like I’m the only one late for this in this row but good that I don’t have to step over too many people just this one guy in the end seat.  

“Excuse me sir, that is my seat next to you.”

“All right no problem, I will get up to let you in.”

I wait for the man to get up and I make it to my seat.

“John?”

“Evangeline?”

“What are you doing here John.  You don’t like opera.”

“Well I have changed my mind.  This is my first opera and I figured I couldn’t go wrong with ‘The Barber of Seville’.  It’s just a guy getting a haircut right?  Just kidding.  I’ve been taking opera appreciation classes at the community center and thought that I would finally attend an opera.  Fancy meeting you here.  Oh they are dimming the lights we need to be quiet now.  I’ll talk with you later.”

When I say that I am stunned, believe me I am stunned. John McBain at an opera and telling me to be quiet as the opera starts.  I don’t believe my eyes but I do stop talking and the show begins.  From time to time I peek over to look at John to see his expressions during the performance and he is really engrossed in it.  At the funny parts he laughs and at the sad parts he stares and at intermission we both go out to the lobby together.  Grabbing a drink of water, liquor will not do for me now. I want a clear head I pull John over to a corner.

“John I can’t believe that you are here.  What made you decide to come to an opera and to take classes to learn about opera?”

“Evangeline I am not the same man that you knew before.  I decided that I needed to make changes in my life and broaden my perspective on things and this is one of them.  You always talked about how much you enjoyed going to the opera so I decided that I wanted to see what excited you so much and now I see. I am enjoying it.”

“Well, well, well will wonders never cease?  I think that I like this ‘new’ John McBain.”

“I’m glad that you do.  It looks like it’s time to return.  I want to see what happens with Almaviva and Rosina.  Ahh, a love story, I could use one of those.”

Before I can respond he takes my hand and leads me back to our seats.  The opera resumes and we view it to the end.   We walk together to the lobby and then I stop to ask John how he liked the opera.

“Well it was more than a haircut for sure.  I liked it.  I’m glad that it was my first one and I didn’t fall asleep.  Maybe I will try another one some time in the future.  I’ll walk you to your car if that’s all right with you.”

“Thank you John.  Would you like to stop for a coffee or a bite to eat?”

“Sure, do you want to go to the diner?”

“No, I know of a little eatery not far from here where I usually go after attending a performance here.  You’ll like it.”

He follows me in his car to the eatery and we meet up in front. We walk in together and are shown to a table.  We make just in time before the crowd.  It is a regular eating place for the opera crowd.   We place our orders and talk while we wait for our food.  Our food arrives and we dig in and continue to talk.

“Well how are you Evangeline?  I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“I’m doing much better John, thank you for asking.  You seem well.  How is your therapy progressing?”

“Very well as a matter of fact.  As I said earlier I’m taking classes to add some dimensions to my character. I don’t want to be just about the job anymore.  There is more to living than working.  I took ballet and opera appreciation classes and am still taking cooking classes at the community center.  You should let me cook for you one evening and see for yourself how I have improved.  Maybe we can try some of those recipes that you talked about a few years ago.”

“That’s good to hear John.  I too am doing more things.  I’m playing tennis and golfing again and add my time in the gym to that I’m getting buffed at the same time.  That is the term isn’t it, buffed?  Well I’m getting lean and fit.  Add to that I joined a running group too.  It is a group of people who run together.  We started out at the track at first but now we have progressed to running in the park.  It is a great stress reliever.  You should join us.  It will help you when you are chasing perps.”

“Well Ms. Williamson I may just take you up on that offer.  I still work out in the gym too but I can always use a change up sometimes.  When does your running group meet?”

“You can join us in the morning at 7 a.m. at the entrance to the park.  We only do about three miles now.  You can run at your own pace.  We always have one of the more experienced runners to run with the newbies to keep them encouraged.  I will run with you if you want.”

“Well it looks like my Saturday morning is booked and yes I would like for you to run with me. Well it’s getting late we’d better get home and get some rest.  Come on let’s go.”

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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 9                  Changing Attitudes

With my workouts at the gym you would think that I could run three miles well we are both wrong.  I ran maybe one-half mile and then got winded and had to walk for a bit.  Evangeline is laughing so hard she had to stop to catch her breath.  She tells her running group that she will stay with me and they can finish their run.  We walk for a bit until I can catch my breath and then we start to jog.  This pace feels more comfortable and I can keep up with Evangeline.  We don’t try to talk because I don’t know if I can move my legs and mouth at the same time so I just jog.  Of course she can multi-task and talks while I listen.  She tells me about a case she’s working on but of course nothing that would jeopardize her client’s defense since I so work for the police department but she simply talks in generalities.  I like hearing her voice, it soothes me and before I know it we’re at the end point.  I now realize that she kept talking to keep my mind off my running and it worked.

“You are something else you know.  You talked to me while we ran and you knew that I was too winded to respond but you kept talking and I know why.  You talked to keep my mind off of running and it worked.  You are good.”

“It’s something that I learned.  Why do you think people run with headphones in their ears?  It’s not always to hear music or books it to keep our mind off of having to lift our feet and put them down again.  Running can be very boring sometimes so you do things to distract yourself.  Sometimes I run with headphones and sometimes I just look around at the scenery and other times I may talk or just think to myself.  You do what works for you.  Did you enjoy your run?”

“I did thanks to you.  At first I thought that I would have to tell you to go ahead without me but I didn’t want you to think of me as a wuss so I toughed it out.  Who knew how hard this is, I certainly didn’t? I have a new respect for runners now.”

“Well thank you kind sir we appreciate it.  Running gives me something else to do.  Other than a good pair of shoes you don’t need any special equipment to do it.  So are you ready to leave now?  I need to get a shower and something to eat.”

“Sure.  Before you go I have something for you.  These are letters that I wrote to you after you told me that we could not write to each other anymore.  I continued to write but never mailed them.  I would like for you to read them so you know that I never stopped thinking about you.  Of course you can just trash them but I really would like for you to read them.  Before you ask, no I do not carry them around with me all of the time.  I knew that I would see you today so I brought them with me.  Here they are do what you will with them.  Let me go and I will see you around.  Thanks for the run.”

“John wait a minute.  I will read the letters.  You took the time to write them so I will not just trash them.  And thank you for the run.  I’m glad that you enjoyed it.  Maybe you might join us again sometime.  See you around town Lieutenant.”

“See you Counselor.”

With that we went our separate ways.

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Two months later and Dr. Jamison announces that we should only meet once every three months.  The anger and hurt that held me close now seem like a distant memory.  I am so glad of that.  Now I really think that it is time for me to take a break.  I don’t want to go out of the country but I do want to get out of Llanview so after my session with Dr. Jamison I head to the travel agency down the street from his office.  Whom should I find perusing the travel brochures but John.  When he sees me he smiles and says,

“So great minds think alike.  So where are you thinking about going?”

“I don’t know I just need a break.  What about you?”

“Don’t know yet either.  Hey I have an idea, have you ever been to Atlantic City?  I could show you the city, all of the touristy sites and then the real Atlantic City.  What do you say, want to go?”

“I don’t know John if I’m ready to go anywhere with you.  I don’t mean to sound mean but it’s the truth.  Even though we have spent time together the last few weeks and even though I have been in therapy to get past the hurt between us I still remember it.  It doesn’t hurt as much but the ache is still there.  I know that in time I will get over it completely, as least I hope that I will but not today.  Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry Evangeline.  I know better than most how hard it is to get rid of hurt.  It was just a suggestion.  I’ll see you around.”

John turns to walk away and then I remember something that Dr. Jamison said to me early on in my therapy. ‘Evangeline the longer that you let the hurt control you the longer it will take to rid yourself of it.  Let it go.’  Before he reaches the door I call out to him,

“John wait.  Tell me about this trip to Atlantic City.  Give me you best spiel.”

“I’ll do you one better.  Just agree to go with me and I will make all of the arrangements, separate rooms of course, and you can see for yourself all that is Atlantic City and I won’t have to say a word.  Do you want to drive or fly?”

“Fly, I don’t really feel like sitting in a car for hours.  When do we leave?”

“How about we do a long weekend, this weekend.  It will give you a taste of the city and leave you wanting more.  I will call you when I have everything arranged.  You won’t regret it Evangeline.” 

“I’d better not John or you will pay with your head.  I am a very hard task master.”

“That I know, that I know.  Talk with you later and thanks for giving me this chance.  I won’t disappoint.”

Well now I need to make sure that I have the proper clothing for this trip.  A check of the weather forecast for that area for this weekend will give me direction on which items to pack.  Oddly enough I feel a bit giddy about going away with John.  The only other time that we went away together didn’t end so well.  The trip to my great aunt’s funeral and the visit home left us both feeling a bit disconnected.  That will not happen this time.  We will learn from the past and not repeat those mistakes.  Vacation plans settled and work to return to I make my way back to my office and the stacks of paperwork on my desk.  I won’t complain because I love my job and my life is getting better also.  I didn’t mention this before but I did read John’s letters that he wrote while we were apart and they were so lovely but I did not want to forgive him for the hurt but they helped to melt away the anger.  I’m looking forward to this trip with him and maybe just maybe it can be a new beginning for us.

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The trip to Atlantic City was more than I could have hoped.  John took me all around the city, to the boardwalk, to the casinos, to the neighborhoods, to the shops and the out of the way eateries.  We crammed all of that into three days and he was right.  It had me wanting more.  I will return when I have more time.  But it wasn’t just seeing the sights that made the trip so nice.  We talked, John and I, talked about real things.  He showed me where he grew up and opened up about his dad and the things that they used to do together.  I could tell that sometimes he grew sad but he pushed past it and kept telling me about all the things that he did with his dad and with his dad and Michael.  When he would tell me about things that he did with his dad he would then ask me what things that I did with my dad.  At first I was hesitant to respond but the more that he talked about his dad the more that I wanted to tell him about my dad.  Then I figured out what he was doing.  Just like I talked with him to keep his mind off of running, he kept telling me about him and his dad so that I would feel comfortable about talking about my dad.  We two are a pair, aren’t we?  I had so much fun this weekend that I don’t even mind going back to work.

Atlantic City was weeks ago and since then John came out to our running group one more time and actually lasted for the full three miles.  Someone has been practicing.  He didn’t tell me that he had but I could tell.  At the end of the run I congratulated him on finishing in one try.  He thanked me for my kindness and hurried away.  He said that he had something to do and couldn’t stay to talk.  It surprised me that I was disappointed that he had to leave.  Be careful Evangeline, don’t want to fall for John again, or have you already done that?  I’m talking to myself again.  I know my own mind and so what if I like this new John McBain.  Anything is better than that knuckleheaded version that I told that I would knock him out for not telling about the identity of Christian Vega.  I really would have hit him, even better with a baseball bat, the idiot.  Be nice Evangeline.  You are no longer that person and he is no longer that idiot.  Thank goodness for both.

By the time I make it back to my apartment I’m tired and I smell like the great outdoors, and not in a good way.  A shower later I’m sitting on my sofa enjoying a nice hot cup of tea when my doorbell rings.  Checking the peephole I see a delivery person.  Opening the door, she hands to me a box and asks me to sign for it, which I do.  Closing the door I return to my sofa and open the package.  Inside I find a snow globe of Atlantic City, a postcard of Llanview, and miniatures of Big Ben in London, England and the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France and a card.

“Evangeline I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you gave me the chance to share my home city with you.  The items in this box represent other places that I would like to share with you.  We live in Llanview, we visited Atlantic City but I would like, with everything inside of me, to see the other two places for the first time with you.  But not just with you Evangeline Williamson, the attorney extraordinaire, but with you the future Evangeline McBain.  I know that you’re not ready for that but I won’t give up hope that one day you will agree to marry me.  You’re probably saying how can you agree when I haven’t asked you.  Well I am treading very carefully with you.  I don’t want to take any missteps but you have to help me out in this Evangeline.  You tell me when you are ready to take the next step.  I will wait for you.  I will wait a lifetime for you because you are worth it to me.  But it might help if we marry before we get too old because I would like to have children with you too and these old bones of mine will only be limber for so long.  I intend to teach our son/daughter the fine points of catching a football.  You do remember pinkies and thumbs don’t you?  You are the only one who can put me out of my misery, either tell me that it is okay for me to propose or shoot me.  That’s right shoot me because I am a dead man walking without you in my life.  No, don’t worry I’m just being dramatic.  I will survive just as you will.  Even if you don’t want to marry me I still want us to at least be friends.  It will be painful to see you with someone else but I would rather see you than not see you.  Now to close this card on a bright note.  I LOVE YOU.    John’

What am I going to do with this man?  So that is why he had to rush away after the run.  Well it looks like I’ve got to change my attitude about one John McBain but it is not a hardship.  I can be one tough unrelenting and unforgiving woman but it hurts me more than it hurts anyone else and I don’t want to do that anymore, ‘relax, relate, and release’,

-RELAX into all of the emotions that you have held at bay, love, lust, elation, joy, calm and thankfulness.

-RELATE to the knowledge that not everyone gets a second chance at love or at second chance at making up for your mistakes, or a second chance at anything

-RELEASE the anger, hurt, regret, self-deprecation, and self-denial

-CLAIM your joy, life, love, worth, happiness AND

-LIVE your life to the fullest, with all the happiness you can garner, with love in your heart

Now I know what I must do and I am so glad that I can see clearly now the path that lies before me.  Checking my closet for a drop dead gorgeous outfit I change and head out of the door on a mission to claim what is mine.  Look out world here I come!

Un-betaed

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended

The Confrontation a JOVAN Story    REVISED

Chapter 10                  The Cease Fire 

With my red pencil skirt, leather print blouse with the first few buttons unbuttoned to show enough cleavage and a bit of my black lace bra, black stilettos and my hair hanging loosely down my back and briefcase in hand for these negotiations I make my way to the police station.  Just as I approach the outer hall one of the officers stop me and asked if I am here for night court because they haven’t arrested anyone tonight.  I tell him know but I do have an important meeting to attend at this moment.  He leaves and I proceed to knock on John’s door.  I hear him say to come in and so I do.  Opening the door and closing it I stand there with my back to the door and place my briefcase on the ground and settle into the sexiest stand that I can think of.  John is working on his computer when I walk in and isn’t aware that it is me.  When he looks up and sees me his eyes open wide and he stutters,

“What, what are you doing here?  Oh my goodness you look beautiful.”

Then he just sits there looking at me as if he doesn’t know what else to do.  It is the perfect reaction.  I walk slowly to his desk and stand before it, then bend over towards him making sure that he gets a full view of what I’m bringing and I say in the breathiest and sexiest voice I can muster,

“I’m here to negotiate a cease fire with you.  Are you amenable to negotiating with me?”

If I had not seen it for myself I would never have known that John could turn that shade of pink.  His cheeks flush, his pupils dilate so wide I can’t see his iris, his nostrils flare and he has goose bumps on his arms and he doesn’t say one word.  Next thing I know he is pinching himself and shaking his head as if to wake himself up from a dream. Inside I’m laughing up a storm but outside I remain cool and calm.  Turning around, walking back to retrieve my briefcase, and bending over again but this time so that he has a unobstructed view of my rear, which is snugly enclosed in this pencil skirt, I return to stand before his desk and ask,

“Don’t you have an answer to my question Lieutenant?”

John still sits at his desk but now with his mouth open and eyes still open wide looking as if he’s still trying to determine if he is dreaming. Then he does something completely unexpected, he gets up from his desk goes to the other door of his office, opens it, calls for an officer.  When the officer arrives John says the oddest thing,

“Officer Stanton please come in my office for a moment I need your assistance with something.  Is there someone in my office?

The officer steps in to the office and sees me and then looks at John and guessing that this is some kind of game that the two of us are playing says,

“Yes Lieutenant there is someone in your office, Attorney Williamson.  I guess you lose the game sir.”

“Thank you Officer Stanton that will be all.”

Officer Stanton leaves and John returns to this office and closes the door.  Once back in the office he stands and just stares at me.  Now I’m getting a bit worried because I don’t know what he will do next.  So I decide to increase the stakes.  Putting my briefcase on this desk I walk up to him and stand right in front of him so that he has nowhere to look but at me.  And as if purring I whisper to him,

“You have not answered my question John and time is quickly ticking away at this offer. It is a one time offer with no renewal options.”

And just when I think he will not respond he once again does the unexpected.  He kneels before me, takes my hand and says,

“I surrender. I surrender my heart to you, I surrender my love to you, and I surrender me to you.  I surrender completely to you Evangeline.”

Pulling on his hand I help him to stand and he looks at me and I can see the sincerity and the love in his eyes.  He takes my face in his hands and kisses my forehead, my cheeks, my nose and lastly my lips.  It’s not his old all consuming kiss, instead it is a tender, sweet, I cherish you kind of kiss and it is as if we melt into each other.

“I didn’t think that I would ever get to kiss you again or to hold you again.  You take my breath away Evangeline. Before I forget what are you wearing, it must be new because I have never seen this outfit before? Well maybe not new to you but definitely new to me.  You look fantastic.”

“Glad that you like my outfit.  So what do we do now John?”

“Whatever you want to do Evangeline.  You have to tell me what to do.  I said it in the letter and I will say it to you now, I want to marry you Evangeline.  I want you to be my wife and for me to be your husband but you have to tell me if that is what you want.”

“But you haven’t asked me John so how can I answer?”

“Do you mean that really all I have to do is ask?”

“You won’t know that unless you ask.”

John releases my hand and goes to his desk and takes something out and returns to stand before me.

“Evangeline with all of my heart I love you.  I thank you for giving me a chance for a life with you.”

Then kneeling again before me he opens his hand to reveal a ring box.  It is a beautiful ring.

“”Evangeline will you marry me. Will you spend your life with me?”

“Yes John, yes I will marry you and will spend my life with you.  I love you John.  I didn’t think that I would ever say that to you again but I do love you.”

“Thank you, thank you.  I love you Evangeline with everything in me.”

Placing the ring on my finger he stands and kisses me but this time it is the smoldering, all consuming kiss that gives me goose bumps. The kiss seems to go on forever and we both relish in it.  He leads me over to the couch and we sit and just hold each other.

“Who would have thought we would end up here?  Not too long ago I was ready to ‘knock you out’ about Christian Vega’s identity and look at us now.”

“We’ve changed since then Evangeline.  I’m not that man anymore, thank goodness and you’re not that woman. You didn’t have as much to change as I did. In a way the confrontation was a wake up call for me and put me on the road to renewal so I guess that I should thank you for blasting me that day.”

“You are welcome, I aim to please.”

“No I’m serious you really helped me to see the error of my ways and I thank you for it. You are the best thing that has happened to me now we have a lifetime ahead of us.”

“Yes we do so let me let you get back to work.  Negotiations are now over.”

“No you don’t get away that easily.  I think that I will leave for the evening and take my fiancée home to make sure that she arrives safely.”

“John there is one thing about the engagement that we need to discuss …”

“I already know what you will say.  NO SEX before the wedding.  I agree.”

“You do?”

“Yes I do. We will have a beautiful wedding, go on a great honeymoon and have fantastic sex then.  I can wait.”

“That’s good to know.  So will we go to London and Paris for our honeymoon?  You did say that you wanted us to see them together.”

“Sure that sounds like a good plan.  We will need at least two weeks off to make it worthwhile.”

“That can be arranged as soon as I know when we will go.  Come on take me home my fiancée we have a lot to talk about.”

“Yes we do. I am so happy.  I never thought that I would ever be happy again but you have made me so happy Evangeline I just want to shout for joy.”

“As do I. Come on let’s walk to Angel Square and give a shout there.  If we don’t shout too loud no one will be the wiser but I have this bubbling inside of me too and need to let it out.  Come on.”

So we walk hand in hand to the park and shout for joy for the marvel that is our love.  From a confrontation we have progressed to a cease-fire and the end of the war that we waged between us.  Now our efforts we will spend on planning our wedding and living our lives together in holy matrimony.