Penname: Cholyn [Contact]

Real name: Brandy

Member Since: 20/09/09

Membership status: Member

Bio:

Lilies

 




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Reviews by Cholyn


Dystopian Paradise by Darling
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 208]
Summary:

After the hostile takeover of the world by fairytale (and nightmare?) creatures, Roxanne doesn't have much of a choice but to go with the flow. She does have one major problem, though. There's this guy, see...And he thinks that she is destined to be his mate. What's the problem, you ask? Well, for one thing, he can't touch her without doing her bodily harm...



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Fantasy, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Dark Fic, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Rape, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 19
Completed:No
Word count: 47491
Read Count: 24039
Published: 18/01/10
Updated: 09/07/11

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Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15

I'm so happy that you updated. This was a nice quick chapter. It seems as thought a lot of time as passed since the last one. I want to know what's going on with Roxie, and her new feelings for Mod.

Roxie has every right to feel the way that she feels. The man almost killed her. 

Thanks for updating. 



Author's Response:

I have let too much time pass between updates. And I really hope that hasn't caused anyone to lose interest.

Please stay tuned for more Moxie in the next update.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 21/08/10
Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13

I liked the fight, and Mod showing a little backbone at the end. It was a good chapter overall. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Hmm, I don't know who's team I'm on, but both men need to up their game and tape into their inner alpha.  



Author's Response:

Okay, I think I got both your reviews. That is, if this was the review you were talking about in your earlier one.

I'm glad you liked Mod and Roxi's very public fight. They may not be starting off on the right foot but at least they aren't kidding themselves, right?

Hmm, no preference? Well, both Leo and Mod have been holding back. If you want game, they've got game! Lol

Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I'm glad I can keep you interested!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 14/06/10
Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12

Ok, so I reviewed but something weird happened. I will just say that it was great to see Mod and Roxie getting closer. The "New Earth" seems like an interesting place, lol.

Author's Response:

Huh? I don't know what happened there.

But yeah, we'll see how Mod and Roxi's relationship develops...or crashes and burns before they make it out of the driveway. Lol

"New Earth" gets a lot weirder, you will find. Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading and reviewing (no matter what/how it happens)!

 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
Date: 14/06/10
Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

This is an intersting story. I  like that each character seems to has a distinctive personality.

Thanks for sharing

Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 21/01/10
Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Parker does sound interesting, I'm looking forward to readind more about him and Melissa.

Leo seemed a lit nicer than he did in previous chapters. He didn't seem mean before, but he seemed more like someone who cares.

Hmm, are human males and females being chosen as mates for the "others.

 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 22/01/10
Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Thank you for updating.

Well, we did learn that she plans on staying away from Mod, and that she has already judged him, without knowing his whole story. She has a reason to be wary of him, but she doesn't really know anything about him.

I predict that Leo may fall for her, and that it will cause some issues in the future.



Author's Response: You're pretty much on the money but things are going to get a little more complicated. Please stay tuned and keep reviewing. I really like your reviews! Thanks for reading!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 06/02/10
Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Aww, I already like Peter. I'm interested to know why type of species he is. 

Hmm, who was that guy? I thought it was Leo, idk, it just seemed like his personality.  

Leo has a lot of patience with her. Roxanne is under the assumption that her bruises are what's keeping him from selling her. He could easily, sale her for cheap, it's not like her needs the money.

I like that Roxanne isn't just rolling over for Leo. However, she needs to watch her step. I know that this situation isn't easy for her. One day she was free, and then the next she wasn't, and now she's basically someone's slave. I like her spirit, and she's funny, which is always a bonus in a lead for me.

This is the type of fic that requires a lot of characters. I just couldn't imagine it being told with only a handful.

Thanks for updating



Author's Response:

Honestly, I can't reveal much at all about Peter. You'll have to stick around for that. It'll be worth it.

And can't tell who the mystery man is just yet...

Leo is...yeah. I could probably come up with a better reason for why he doesn't jab her in the ribs when she's rude.

I can guarantee that you will see a lot more of Roxi's 'spirit'.

Thank you for reading! I would appreciate it if you continue to review!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 07/02/10
The Menagerie by ChandelierSocialite
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 16]
Summary:

meg 

me·nag·er·ie- 1. wild animal exhibit: a collection of wild animals kept in captivity for the curiosity and entertainment of the public. 2.diverse or exotic group: a diverse, exotic, or unusual group of people or things.


The Menagerie was known for its exquisite women and its exclusive and rather wealthy clientele. It was a brothel, and like all brothels it housed the dregs of society. But The Menagerie was no common brotel, and She was no ordinary woman.

This is a dark tale of a woman bound by her status and her love.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Drama, Erotica
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, BDSM, Character Death, Dark Fic, Dubcon, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Sexual Content
Series: None
Chapters: 4
Completed:No
Word count: 7710
Read Count: 3021
Published: 23/01/10
Updated: 29/01/10

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Title: Chapter 3: No matter how hard i dig, they see right through me

O I don't feel bad for Petra, yes, what he said was harsh, but I have a feeling that she's going to cause plenty of trouble in the future. The only person I feel sorry for is Emily/ I have a bad feeling that her she's going to get caught in the crossfire.

Author's Response:

Very insightful Cholyn, Petra will be cookin up some trouble and poor Emily might get burned....but who knows??? i hear its good to fight fire with fire.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/01/10
Title: Chapter 2: Serva Me, Servabote

Interesting, I can't really wrap my mind around it. I'm not sure wth is going on to be honest. LOL Well, I understand some of it, and it was different, so I'll continue reading to find out more.

Thanks for sharing



Author's Response: Thanks cholyn, i hope somethings become clearer as the story goes on.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/01/10
Bet on Love by BlackPrincess
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 12]
Summary: Nicholas was the boy who had everything. Keyana was the girl who had nothing. They were complete opposites like fire and ice. Keyana wanted nothing to do with him while Nicholas only wanted to mess with her head. All he had to do was make Keyana Larson fall in love with him. Too bad she thought of him as an arrogant, snob and vowed to loathe him forever. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: Original Character(s)
Classification: General
Genre: Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Extreme Language, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed:No
Word count: 2331
Read Count: 1551
Published: 30/01/10
Updated: 30/01/10

[Report This]

Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hmm, this sort of reminds me of Cruel Intentions.

I enjoy it, and I do hope that you continue to write it. This story feels like it could get pretty messy down the road. Ava in love with Nic, and him later on having feelings for Keyana.

I really hope that you continue to write this story, because I will continue to read, and review it.

Thanks for sharing :D

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 30/01/10
Vermillion by ChandelierSocialite
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 18]
Summary:

2ndS&H

A story about a woman and the man who possesses her.

The second installment of the She & Him Series.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, BDSM, Dark Fic, Dubcon, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Strong Sexual Content
Series: She & Him
Chapters: 1
Completed:Yes
Word count: 4132
Read Count: 7847
Published: 28/02/10
Updated: 28/02/10

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Title: Chapter 1: Vermillion

Dude, I so love this story! I don't know what that says about me. lmao

 The part about her being all alone and taking the pills was sad. I can't believe she's having his kid, although I sorta thought you were going there when he looks at her stomach. How in the world can she marry him? I can't see her taking him home to meet the family.

I can't wait to read the next one, I hope it's as long or longer than this one.

 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 23/05/10
Retired
The Memory Keeper by brookmeade
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 46]
Summary:

banner

"People think it is holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go."

From the author of Into the West

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction, Miscellaneous
Characters: None
Classification: Alternate Universe
Genre: Comedy , Family, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Fluff, Original Characters, Sexual Content
Series: None
Chapters: 5
Completed:No
Word count: 5707
Read Count: 4103
Published: 23/03/10
Updated: 11/04/10

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Title: Chapter 2: Like You'll Never See Me

I have no sympathy for women who sleep and even screw around with married men.

Reviewer: Cholyn Signed
Date: 16/04/10
Chocolate...his drug of choice. by Outlawstar615
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 32]
Summary: After a relative leaves her a home in Bon Temps Naomi has a chance to break the mundane lifestyle she leads in GA and mix it up and she ends up working for a certain Sheriff at Fangtasia she gives him a taste chocolate she becomes his drug.

Table of Contents
Categories: Primetime Television
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: Male/Female
Warnings: Adult Situations
Series: None
Chapters: 9
Completed:Yes
Word count: 11481
Read Count: 7007
Published: 26/03/10
Updated: 27/06/10

[Report This]

Title: Chapter 1: The Letter

This is my first time reading a trueblood fanfic, and that's only because it has an original heroine. As an Eric/Sookie shipper (both versions) it's difficult for me to see Eric with someone else. However, TB Sookie doesn't really deserve Eric, so I'll see where you go with this.

 



Author's Response: Haha. Thanks. I'll try hard not to disappoint but this is my first one soooo...I'll see what i can cook up.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 27/03/10
Title: Chapter 2: Lost and Found

Well you are moving right along. lol! The part with her and Sookie was really cute.

Thanks for updating



Author's Response:

Thanks.!! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

P+CL

~Outlawstar615~

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 27/03/10
Title: Chapter 3: Like A Drug

What style does she dance? Hmm, the smell thing sort of reminds me of Twilight. (Cringe) But I like it, its an interesting detail, that I hope leads somewhere good. I also liked that this chapter was longer than the others.

Your doing okay with Eric personality, its always hard to write characters like him or Damon(TVD), because they have very distintive deep personalities that hide more than they reveal.



Author's Response:

Well, originally Naomi is trained in contemporary, ballet and modern...but is known to go a little exotic at times.^_^

Yeah its is really hard sometimes to try to say or write things that would make someone say..."Yeah that's how Eric would do it." But I'm glad someone gave me feedback on it cause now I know that I'm on the right track.

P+CL

~Outlawstar615~

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 27/03/10
Title: Chapter 4: Give The Mule What He Wants

That was a lap dance, and she doesn't need training for that. I don't see how you can call her a dancer, and not give the specific style. I don't mean to sound mean, but it's really annoying.

You have the cadence of the Eric's voice, however the charater needs a little more work in the dialogue department. His actions are also off. This is one of the reasons, why I don't read TB or TVD fanfics, because they usually star the two men I love, and it's damn hard to capture them. 

Other than that, you're doing a nice job. :^)

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarhalf-star
Date: 27/03/10
LV Choppers© by Denita585
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 233]
Summary:

             

 

After being betrayed by her best friend and being cheated on by her boyfirend, Aiyana Kendricks has decided to leave her hometown of Rochester NY behind. Moving to Las Vegas, she finds herself happy with new friends, a great party planning job, and a new boyfriend named Mark. But what happens when her past comes into her life again? Will the new couple be able to stay together when so many forces are trying to pull them apart?

~*~

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here an' the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind

~*~

LV Choppers Playlist

Something To listen to while reading LVC. All of the songs have inspired me in some way when it comes to the story and characters.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: Original Character(s), Other
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Drama
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 34
Completed:No
Word count: 70063
Read Count: 32184
Published: 19/04/10
Updated: 19/01/11

[Report This]

Title: Chapter 8: The Loveable Badass

Mark is funny. I cracked up when told Kendra to sit in the other chair, because it would save her a few steps. I like that he's sort of an unapologetic a-hole.

Ok, this irks me to NO end, but "I have to piss" Really! I mean Really! I cringe everytime I read that.  She may as well say, "I have to take a leak." 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 11: Dave's Advice

I really like the conversations between Mark and Dave. They seem very organic.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 14: Closer

Oooooo SHOT! Mama needs to quit!

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 15: Ghosts Of The Past

Lil Ricky got some nerve, asking her if's she's sleeping with him.

Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 18: Betrayal

Phil, is just WRONG! Dave is a great guy, ugh, she's such and idiot.

I'm sorry no matter how hung up you are, there is a time when you just have to let it go. MARK, needs to let the HO go. lmao

Aww Ana

I love BSB! Although, I don't own their last three ablums, I do have some songs on my playlist.

Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 19: Answers Wanted

Mommy Dearest is a Biotch! I can not believe how delusional this woman is. Ricky is a punk, I hope Mark beats his a-double-s. lol

Phil, I am so done

 

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 20: Coming Clean

I HATE SOMARA!!!! I hope she gets hit by a bus!

Aww Mark and Anna were great. Ugh I these folks for trying to break the up. grr

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 22: Meetings

Eww, just eww. Why don't Somara and Ricky just have sex and leave everyoneelse alone, including Devlin Sr.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 25/04/10
Title: Chapter 23: Confessions

Phillis has some nerve, she needs a head check. Her not being completely comfortable dating a white guy is no excuse. I really like Dave, poor boo boo.

I liked the fight.

 Reviewer: Cholyn Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star
Date: 25/04/10