December 2011

"Ms. Anders."

Zoe's head popped up at the sound of her name being called. She gathered her notepad and jacket and headed for the door that led to the exam rooms. She greeted the cherubic faced nurse who smiled sweetly from their initial introduction, to the stop at the lab, and finally to the corridor to the rooms in obstetrics wing. She shifted her bag from her shoulder to her hand when she heard her name called again. She recognized the voice immediately and she wished for the gift of invisibility, "Mrs. Vaughn."

There was no love lost between Zoe and Keaton's mother. She had always been viewed as an outcast. The small borough girl who wasn't light enough, pretty enough, preppy enough, for their silver spoon fed son, "This is a surprise."

It was obvious the woman had followed Zoe and the nurse from the back office waiting area to the suite of rooms. She was knocking on forty - five, there was no way she was contemplating having another child, especially when she had given birth to perfection twenty years before, "Yes it is a surprise."

The nurse tried valiantly to usher Zoe into the room but Leona Vaughn chose that second to reach for the girl and pull her back into the hall, "Is there something we need to know dear?"

A technician scurried into the room with a tube of gel in her hand and a fresh roll of paper to print images. There was no way she could lie with such damning evidence. Zoe tried anyway, "No everything's fine."

Leona Vaughn was tenacious, fashion had been her entire life and she'd left one throne to claim another as queen of the Upper Eastside Elite, "No you would never lie to your future mother in law, would you?"

She hated all five feet, ten inches of the woman before her. She hated the pseudo European accent that replaced the one from the farm in Arkansas. She hated that bitch could call her a nigger through clenched teeth and a smile, "What reason would I ever have to lie to you?"

Zoe side stepped the woman and entered the room. She followed the instructions she was given; shedding the thick sweater that concealed a noticeable pudge she had been passing off as guacamole and beer. She peeled off the jeans she could no longer zip and pulled on the thin paper gown they left for her to wear. She didn't flinch when the cold goo touched her skin. She shut her eyes tightly when the first images appeared on the screen.

"Ms. Anders do you want to see your baby?"

The first tear snaked a crooked path down her cheek. The second settled just above the bow in her top lip. She wiped her eyes and turned her head. Her heart skipped a beat at what was presented on the monitor. Gone was the blob she had seen during one of her earlier visits. No, now, she could see the promise of a cute button nose. She hoped for Keaton's dimples and her almond shaped eyes. Her fingers stretched towards the flickering heartbeat and she smiled, "Can I have a copy?"

The technician nodded her head, "I'll do one better...we'll send you home with a DVD."

Dressing was easier the second time around. The jeans slid into place comfortably and the zipper nudged a fraction of an inch. She clutched the disk to her chest as she walked towards the doctor's office. He motioned for her to enter while he finished his notes. Her hand went to the belly hidden beneath her clothing as she took a seat. She was having a baby, Keaton's baby. She thought about his whispers that graced her ears while he thought she was sleeping; the desire for a son or daughter who comprised the better halves of them, a home with two parents, and an overwhelming abundance of love. Even the mental mention of the world caused her to seize. She didn't trust those four letters. She didn't believe the feigned sentiment many associated with the word.

Fear set in and Zoe wondered if Keaton would choose the same path her father had. Would he cut and run, leaving her and his seed to find their way in life.

"How are you feeling Zoe?"

The doctor's question of concern pulled her from her negative thoughts, "Better, tired, a little run down, but better."

His brows remained furrowed and his mouth still held a frown. He cast his gaze back to the folder open on his desk, "Your vitals look good, blood pressure is a little low...your heart is steady and strong...no sign of infection..."

She grew tired of his tactics of avoidance, "Just spit it out already."

The man's shoulders slumped, "I don't have to remind you of the complications that come with sickle cell and pregnancy."

Zoe's eyes slid closed. Her mother had simply been a carrier; she didn't suffer from the disease, "I'm aware."

"Zoe, it's important you take care of yourself," She opened her mouth to speak and he silenced her with a raised hand, "I still want to get the father in her for testing, we need to know if he's a carrier, or if he suffers..."

She offered him a signature roll of her eyes, "He's white."

He responded accordingly with a roll of his hazel eyes and a snort of laughter for good measure, "Doesn't matter, we still need to look at the history of his genetic make up," He leaned forward, "This is serious and you can't keep running from this issue." He closed the folder, "See Jenna on the way out, schedule your next appointment, and keep it." He presented her with the brilliance of his rare smile, "I'd hate to come to Central Park West to find your ass and share the secret you refuse to tell."

Zoe wanted to hate the man but she couldn't, despite his harsh tone of his candid statements, she knew he cared, and had her best interests at heart. She slid the appointment reminder card in her back pocket and safely nestled the DVD between the pages of her spiral bound notebook.

In spite of her many fears, it was time for Zoe to come clean.