I really like where this story is going. It's different and the story unfolds nicely at a good pace. And I can't wait to continue reading to see where it goes.
There are a couple of things that are bugging me. So Keyshia (K-E-Y-S-H-I-A Lol that was funny) has her skanky friends that are a little wild and loose, but that's fine cuz we all friends like that. But what bothers me is that she lef the "private dancing session" after basically being sexually assaulted by a guy and finds comfort with a stranger via alcohol.
She just seemed to get over that kinda quickly. IMHO But maybe I chalk it up to the fact she's only 21 and inexperienced. Getting drunk with a total stranger that doesn't know your name is NOT COOL. I mean what is she thinking? She's never drunk before and wants to get wasted on her own? Smh.. Crazy!
Also from the get go, Keyshia had this thing against the wealthy but for someone who is "down-to-earth" she sure seems to admire and comment on money A LOT. She either has never ever been around wealthy people and has a secret admiration for it OR there's another reason she is the way she is. But she seems a little uncouth. It's funny how invested I am in your characters.. your that good! :)
But I'm excited to continue reading- thank you so much for letting us read this interesting tale.
Author's Response:
:') thank you
For some weird reason, I have a hard time with constistancy and I just go with whatever comes to mind.
I think Keyshia saw something in Jason that she didn't see in the weird creepy guy. She knew deep down inside that he was trustworthy. She also wanted to let loose that night by drinking and if it wasn't going to be with her friends, why not with a sexy charming guy?
ALSO, thanks for pointing that out about the money thing! She can be a bit of a hypocrite at times, but trust me...she's not with him for the money and she has issues with people who have so much of it because of the way she grew up
<3
Reviewer: Anon Anonymous [Report This]Date: February 11 2013 11:20 pm
Well happy birthday to Keyshia she about rock jason world. Now her so call friend is going to call her i don't like her she a fake bitch in my eyes. Thanks for the update.
Reviewer: wwefanforlife Signed
[Report This]Date: December 09 2012 04:04 am
Happy Birthday Keyshia! Wow, what a way to start off your birthday. But I hope it ends better. I think this story has lots of potential! I hope it keeps getting better and better. I will give you a 9 for the kiss!
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Anonymous
[Report This]Date: September 02 2012 07:19 am
Happy Birthday to Keyshia!
Reviewer: bayoumomma Signed [Report This]Date: August 21 2012 12:00 am
Hot, girl! Hot!
Reviewer: Leoslove Signed [Report This]Date: July 28 2012 08:47 pm
Wow, Jason sounds sexy as hell.
Reviewer: AP Anonymous [Report This]Date: July 13 2012 11:30 pm
U got me sitting here on the next scene and wondering what's next.
Reviewer: nightseer Signed [Report This]Date: June 25 2012 05:26 pm
Wow! I like this story already! Please make will a good and long one!
Reviewer: KittyOh48 Signed [Report This]Date: June 25 2012 07:09 am
i've got a smile on my face right now ... i like jason . shit he definitely can get it . i know she's about to enjoy what's left of her birthday. smh. i can't believe those heifers -- no i can't believe she's friends with them. i'd long gone ditched those money hungry whores. ha! that alicia whore was looking to find a big baller , and keyshia managed to snag one up without even trying. lol now that's funny. i'm liking this so far, so update again soon please .
Reviewer: Vava Signed [Report This]Date: June 25 2012 04:44 am
Thanks for the update. I can't believe that her friends did what they did to her. She did the right thing bt leaving but now she is a mans house that she doesn't know. He seems to be ok but she is going to have sex with this guy that she just met. I think it is probably all of the alcohol that she drunk at the club. I was surprised that Jason doesn't have an entourage. What kind of star is he? Singer or actor?
Reviewer: Divsionred Signed [Report This]Date: June 25 2012 04:25 am