Hmmm. I really like that story and the writing is good, it is really one of my few favoriute, but some stuff are just a little bit annoying. First, isn't Aubrey supposed to be at school at some point? Why doesn't anybody question her about that? Antonio? Mrs Anderson? Lilian who is supposed to be a teacher? She hasn't graduated yet, hasn't she? Adn why would Antonio let her just leave to go God knows where, knowing that her mother is dead, without questionning and all? I mean the way she is behaving it shows she is still a teenager. And how come she just get lost like she is 7 years old? Isn't she supposed to have some money? Couldn't she just go and find a public phone and call her father? And the whole thing with Stefan Russo is just creepy, and the fact that she would not say anything is even more infuriating.
Author's Response:
Well this story is set in late summer, so that's why she isn't currently in school and also why she thinks she has to return home soon so that she can get set up with living with Mrs. Anderson and finish her last year. That's also why Lillian isn't working currently. This was my first published story, so I do have a few loose ends, not gonna lie, but there will be a lot more development in my next installment which is where I plan to bring a lot more out of characters like Antonio and Stefan, and add some growth to Aubrey since she is still pretty set in a child's mentality even though she likes to think that she is a viable adult( for some odd reason)
Hopefully as I get going farther into the next part of the story, things will start to pop more. This was supposed to be a lot shorter( 7 chapters to match 7 days in a week) so some things move a little faster or aren't explained in detail which is why I really want to expand this
Reviewer: RedHobo Signed [Report This]Date: July 16 2013 09:05 pm
oh no.. she is causing more problems by not telling please make her tell him.
Reviewer: lilsunseeker Signed [Report This]Date: July 16 2013 04:39 am
Such a tease. I love the story and how well is written. I do hope for longer chapters.
Reviewer: nikol Signed [Report This]Date: July 16 2013 04:17 am
Wow...good update
Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed [Report This]Date: July 15 2013 11:21 pm