This story is so confusing...
It sure is, and so is she. Stuff will be all clear later.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: November 17 2014 06:39 pm
So lemme get this straight. This is an anti-heroine? She kicks and cusses off homeless people, smokes (not a serious point of dislike, only minor), and walks around in public with her hand jammed down her tights fingering herself. To check if she had sex last night because she gets THAT wasted.
My question: why should I read this story? Apart from satisfying that part of me that slows down to gawk at a carwreck?
I don't mean to be rude, but what redeeming quality does your character have, to make me want to click through to chapter 2?
btw, this doesn't mean you can't write. I think you have a vivid style (wiping those slimy fingers on the bathroom tiles is an image that will stay with me a lot longer than I'd like!). Sometimes it is about WHAT you write.
Actually, the anwer is just as simple as your question; people would rather read about the innocent looking girl that's not experienced. The kind of girl that didn't even remotely think about certain things. So, how about looking at the other side for once? Not all girls are like they're pictured in stories, beautiful, with a respectable life, clean thoughts and such. This is a cliché breaker.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: November 17 2014 03:49 pm
Hmm, I'm still trying to decide if I like this story or not. It's kind of confusing in a way..
Answers will comes as the story goes, it's supposed to be blurry now though.
Thank you for the review.Reviewer: Wideyedreamer Signed [Report This]
Date: November 17 2014 12:25 pm
Hey there, you need more paragraphing. And a read-thru to catch the errors that spellcheck miss. Like tip instead of top...
Thank you for your feedback, I'll definitely do this, actually I'm still working on the whole first chapter.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: November 12 2014 11:39 am