Reviews For Serenity's Flame
Title: Chapter 3

I'm glad that she is going to attempt to end things with ole boy before something bad happens to him. I don't know how I would have reacted to learning that the people who sold her like a sex slave are involved in the case that she is working on. I would have pulled out. I don't think I would be able to think straight. Not completely. That is horrible!!! I feel bad for what her and her brother had to endure while in foster care. I'm glad they were able to survive and she not get raped. Dang, he hurt them that bad that his leg had to get amputated. Wow! I wonder if he killed the mother after he found out she called the police. Took her long enough, it should have never gotten to that point. I understand that you're scared too but he could have killed those kids because you were too afraid of him hitting you. But I am glad that she found some courage that night. 

Update soon

Reviewer: KeiKei Signed [Report This]
Date: May 18 2015 10:55 pm

Title: Chapter 3

This is a beautifully written chapter. You watched your pronouns and sentence construction which made this an easier read. Bravo! 

Wonderful chapter...the relationship between Serenity and her brother is so warm and sincere. It has such connection and relatablity. It was a pleasure to read. I want to see how Serenity is going to cut off her relationship and Irish, is so cool. Very good characters that come to life. Can't wait to read the next chapter. Keep on wrrting. 


Reviewer: Caribbean Fire Anonymous [Report This]
Date: May 13 2015 01:37 am

Title: Chapter 3

Wow, that was powerful.  So was the Candy land before after being in foster care?   I want to say after since the foster father tried to rape her.  The was a sex offender and I he's dead!  My spidey sense is tingling and I am not trusting the powers that be. Keep your opens Serenity! !



Author's Response:

Hi pmgayles, 

Candyland was actually before she her foster father, she was at candy land until she was 14. Hmm the foster father dead? We shall see! Keep reading for more spine tingling mystery with Serenity! 

I have been give the opportunity to make Serenity’s Flame into a book so I will not be posting any more chapters. But you can check out my website to make a donation to my publication fund or receive updates on the publication process so that you can purchase a copy of Serenity’s Flame on ebook or paperback when it's available! 

http://www.gofundme.com/vc4673k2a

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: May 07 2015 03:02 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Nice beginning, it pulls you in. Your characters are good and they make you want to know more about them. Serenity is someone that your readers want to know now she overcame the abuse. Your villain is very intriguing. This chapter was good, but the best part is how you introduced your paranormal characters. The ending is brilliant. 

You have room for improvements with the story, the first being editing. Some minor things that you can catch yourself when you read out loud. E.g. "Living", its a verb and should not be capatilized. "big apple" refers to a place and shoudl be capatilized. Also the use to the word 'Geez' at the beginning of that paragraph. Serinity is a very strong character, a woman who has survived; she's smart and takes action. That word is whinny and weak, Becareful of the words you use when writing your characters and their actions or reasons. 

For the second chapter, be mindful of the pronouns. You used 'he', 'she', and 'her', but sometimes you used them in the incorrect spot. Once or twice is okay but more than that, detracts from the reading. The reader will have to spend more time correcting the story that enjoying reading the story. 

Your introduction of characters and the pace and how you are doing it, is well done. I like it and can't wait to read the next chapter. 

Feel free to delete this review. 

 



Author's Response:

Hey Caribbean Fire (Anonymous),

Thank you for your comment I appreciate any feed back I can get to aid me in becoming a better writer. I like to bring a little mystery to my characters so that the reader wants to know more about them, I also want the readers to be able to connect with her story. As for the paranormal aspect I want the readers to be curious as to what powers they hold (if any) and their purpose for protecting her (the prophacy).

I will make sure to take my time and go over my story again before posting, I want the readers to be able to understand what I am trying to portray to them through my descriptions. I also want you to enjoy what you're reading and I see how spelling errors can hinder that.

I won't delete your coment because all my readers comments are important :) . Stay tuned in further chapters for more!

Reviewer: Caribbean Fire Anonymous [Report This]
Date: April 28 2015 09:31 pm

Title: Chapter 2

So is Andrew her brother? I don't blame her for her reasoning but don't drag him along. He wants more that you can offer because of your career. The sooner you ended things the better. You can try to control your emotions all you want but it's going to hurt both of you if you don't end it soon. Something could still happen to him because you have been messing with him for over 2 years. 

Update soon!! 



Author's Response:

Hi KeiKei,

Thats all true, but did he ever complain through out the chapter, and he has also stayed with her for 2 years without any progress. He knows what their relationship is and how much she is willing to give he just wants more because he cares for her. He knows she cares for him even if she is hiding it behind a her tough exterior.

Will they progress in their relationship or will he get tired of her on and off attitude?

Stay tuned to find out!

Reviewer: KeiKei Signed [Report This]
Date: April 25 2015 02:54 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Wait?? What the hell? 

So she has the power to control water. There is a talking wolf and a man that turns into an eagle following and protecting her. What prophecy needs to come to pass? What's going to happen to the planet if it doesn't? Who is Eric??? She's CIA. Nice. Was she abused by this Scott Gores guy? Why did he call her a nymph??? 

I'm interested. 



Author's Response:

Hi KeiKei,

Your first two sentences are spot on, you'll learn more about the wolf and eagle that is protecting her as the story progresses. I really want to tell you about the prophecy but I feel that it may be giving away too much for later chapters, so I'll hold my tongue, but the profacy is very important and the reason that everything in her life is happening at this very moment. Eric is her protector who was watching over her, the eagle shifter.

No Scott Gores didn't abuse her but he is closer in connection with her abuser then she knows.

Stay tuned for more and feel free to leave any questions or comments!

Reviewer: KeiKei Signed [Report This]
Date: April 25 2015 02:40 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Great update!

Author's Response:

Hi baha_malo,

Thanks for the review! Stay tuned there is more to come!

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 25 2015 04:21 am

Title: Chapter 2

Serena is really afraid of of emotions, partly because of job but mainly because of her upbringing.  Jocab deserves so much more!  Has she ever tried to search for parents? As a CIA operative she access to channels that everyday schmoe wouldn't. More please!



Author's Response:

Hey pmgayles,

She is a bit emotionally numb but like you said with her occupation and past life experiences she has to have some type of caution to life. Yes she has tried looking for her parents, I won't say more because I don't want to spoil anything.

Stay tuned to find out!

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 24 2015 10:47 pm

Title: Chapter 2

Is she crazy? Trying to leave that fine man, bitch please. She need to let that man into her life fully. Is he the man that was watching her, the man with the dog.



Author's Response:

Hi jacqua43,

Lol she isn't crazy just cautious and realistic to the dangers of her life and job, she knows he is too fine and good to her to leave that's one of the reasone she has hung on to him for so long. As for the quesion of if the man with the dog is Jacob or not you'll have to stay tuned for the next chapters to find out!

Reviewer: jacqua43 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 24 2015 05:16 pm

Title: Chapter 1

Hi pmgayles,

Thank You for the review! Any comments and qusestions are always more then welcomed.

If you like sci-fi/paranormal then this is a story that I believe you will enjoy as the chapters progress. The main reason I chose New Orleans as her living place is because of the picture I want to slowly paint in your mind, to me when I think of mysterious things like paranormal events and a magical awakening happening I think of the spirited and haunted city of New Orleans. I also wanted her to have a Cajun background that she was strongly attached to that will make more sense as the story continues to take fold. Her main office of communication is in Va but she doesn't go there in person often.

Reviewer: ladymonique_09 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 24 2015 04:41 pm

Title: Chapter 1

this story isn't my thing too much fantasy.  but you paint one hell of a picture. I felt like I was right there with her in that foster home. I see this getting great reviews. Intriguing.



Author's Response:

Hi SunnySideDown,

Thank You for the review! Any comments and qusestions are always more then welcomed.

Thank you for that, I try to make all my scenes as vivid as possible because I want the readers to mentally create a picture of what the character's are observing, touching, or feeling as much as possible through the words across the pages.

Reviewer: SunnySideDown Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 23 2015 10:45 am

Title: Chapter 1

Very interesting, I'm on board for this ride. Liking the characters too.



Author's Response:

Hi jacqua43,

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and get to know my characters. Any comments and qusestions are always more then welcomed.

This is a ride that I think you will enjoy if you continue to read along, the characters will begin to mold into more relatable people and the story line will leave you wanting more with each chapter.

Reviewer: jacqua43 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 23 2015 03:07 am

Title: Chapter 1

Loving the start! More please.

Author's Response:

Hi pmgayles,

Thank You for the review! Any comments and qusestions are always more then welcomed.

I'm estaticed that you enjoyed the story so far, I will do my best to post as frequently as I can.

Reviewer: baha_malo Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 23 2015 01:28 am



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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.