Even Lovers Drown CH 20

Fitz noticed Cyrus glancing at his watch for the third time in the last forty-five minutes.

He stopped in mid-sentence. "Am I boring you, Cyrus?"

They'd been brainstorming the hostage situation almost all morning long, trying each day to come up with a viable solution. So far the other elephant in the room had been evading them - all at the same time

Cyrus blinked and looked up. "Of- of course not, sir." He'd been unaware that his own emotions had been so easily transplanted. But really, how he had had expected anything else.

Fitz didn't trouble himself to hide a frown. "Is there somewhere else you would rather be?" He had to admit that he was getting a perverse pleasure at showing his displeasure.

"Not at all, Mr. President - but we had had our meeting scheduled for later this afternoon before you changed it to this morning instead." Cyrus explained. "It's just that I did have some lunch plans - a working lunch." he added quickly as Fitz cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

"Working on what?" Fitz asked.

"It does concern the hostage situation, but I'd rather not discuss it just yet, sir, but only because it may or may not pan out to be nothing worth pursuing. I've got some feelers out on the matter; as soon as I've determined that it may be an avenue worth exploring, I'll bring it straight to you."

For a moment, Fitz contemplated pushing Cyrus on it, but recognized the thought for the petty action it was. Instead, he decided to let it go for now. He had a duty to the American people and that had to preclude whatever his own personal feelings might be.

Before Defiance he might not have even thought to question Cyrus about it at all; the blind trust was gone - blown away - but Fitz had to acknowledge the usefulness of his Chief of Staff's means and methods.

At least that's what he tried to tell himself; but truthfully, way down somewhere in the hidden depths of his soul, Fitz grieved for that loss of shared purpose and camaraderie. He'd never counted on the isolation that came with occupying the Oval Office and sometimes felt lonely and almost abandoned.

But that didn't mean that he trusted him again. Cyrus at this point was a useful tool and he would use him for just that.

"I trust that you'll do exactly that?" he asked out loud.

"Of course, sir." Cyrus swiftly reassured him.

Fitz felt the other man's eyes heavy on him. He returned it with a hard one of his own.

Cyrus refused to break his gaze, but moments went by before he spoke, as though he'd to come to a decision.

"No matter what what our current difficulties are, Mr. President - I hope that you do know that all I've ever done was do my best to serve Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III. My actions have been, are and always been on behalf of your presidency."

Fitz found himself mildly surprised and at the same time faintly guilty at Cyrus' words. It was the closest the other man had ever come to admitting any fault at all since Fitz's discovery of the Defiance plot.

He found himself feeling slightly off-balance; despite his current feelings against those who had betrayed him, the inherent good that was a integral part of Fitz had no real defense against Cyrus's words.

"Make it a short lunch, Cyrus. I don't have to tell you that there's a lot at stake here, and there are some other matters that I want to go over with you." Fitz stood up and walked to the windows behind his desk. His actions were a clear sign of dismissal. "I'm going to talk with the Joint Chiefs for about forty-five minutes - I'd like you back by then."

He felt Cyrus hesitating as though he would say something. There was a curious feel to the silence hanging in the air between them. Then it drifted away and the moment was lost.

"I'll be there, sir." Cyrus said. Then there was the sound of footsteps retreating and the quiet click of the door as it closed behind him.

Fitz remained by the windows in deep thought for several minutes before he turned back to his desk. He punched the intercom button on his phone.

"Lauren, I'd like you to pull up some information for me."

/**/

"I'm not happy about this, Cyrus." Olivia said as she walked into his office.

"I know you're not, Olivia." he told her. He went on setting out the platter of salads with various toppings on a small side table he'd had brought in. "And I wouldn't have asked you here if it wasn't necessary."

Olivia's displeasure faded at the sight of her former mentor. He looked harried and stressed - more than usual, she added to herself.

"You look tired, Cy. I'm sure James is not happy with you right now."

He flashed a weary smile at her, recognizing her attempt at making him smile. "Yes - yes he is. I had to promise to eat a healthy lunch today so that he would allow me to leave this morning. And you, young lady, you're my witness."

"I'll do that gladly." she said, happy that she'd managed to make him think of something other than work even if it was only for a moment.

They sat down and started serving themselves. Cyrus apologized again, even though she tried to stop him.

"I know that the White House is the last place you want to be. It's just that we're on such a high alert right now, there's very little time for me to get away. And Fitz..." he shrugged helplessly.

Her insides had tightened at the sound of Fitz's name. "You don't have to explain that to me. Remember, I used to work here." Olivia told him.

She warred with herself before she spoke again. "Cyrus, what about Fitz?" she clamped her lips shut, refusing to allow herself to ask anything more specific than that.

Cyrus eyed her apologetically. "I should have never brought his name up. It's just that - he's not well. He's tired and frustrated and angry. He doesn't need this happening right now. Those operatives were on the ground before we came into office; we just let them continue as they were. But Fitz is behaving as though he'd sent them in himself."

"He feels guilty." Olivia murmured. "Personally responsible."

"Exactly." Cyrus said. "I tried a few times to convince him of the truth - that he wasn't the one who had sent them in and they knew the risks when they accepted the assignments."

"And?"

"The third time I said anything, he nearly bit my my head off." Cyrus stopped to pour himself a glass of lemon and mint infused water. "Just one more mark against me."

"A mark?" Olivia put her fork down for a moment. "What mark?"

Cyrus sat back in his chair. "He's displeased with me. He's been displeased with me for awhile now. He also is doing his best to keep me on a tight leash. We're not working together - not like we used to do.

"Just this week, I came in to find him consulting with a high-ranking member of the NSC. He's decided to bring her in on this - not that there's anything wrong with that. But the fact remains that he never said a word to me about it beforehand - not even a hint that he was thinking about it."

Olivia frowned as she took in Cyrus' expression. "That's not like him."

"No, it's not." Cyrus agreed. "Just today, I tried to reassure him that I was always on his side and always will be - but I have no idea if my words made a difference or not. He pretty much dismissed when I said what I had to say."

"I wish I had something else to say other than give it time." Olivia said. "At least he is still talking to you."

Neither one of them said what they were both thinking; that Fitz had basically cut Olivia out of his life.

"He wasn't pleased to find out that I had coffee with you the other day."

Olivia sighed. "Why am I not surprised? And he would be furious if he knew I was here now."

Cyrus' lips twisted in a parody of a smile. "Is it wrong of me to take pleasure in that thought?"

Olivia's smile matched his; she knew Cyrus well enough to know that from time to time a small bit of revenge would please him to no end.

"No, it would only be you being you. Remind me to try and stay on your good side." she said.

They both laughed at that and dug into their meals, purposefully keeping the conversation light until they were finished.

Cyrus summoned someone to clear their plates away and when they had gone, Olivia glanced at her watch and changed the subject. "Since we are both on a tight schedule today, you really should tell me why you needed to meet with me."

Cyrus brought her up to speed with what he knew about the current situation, stressing the fact that some of the hostages were actually CIA operatives working undercover. No one outside of the necessary White House staff knew this.

"What I was hoping to get from you was some kind of intel from out there."

"I don't have that many international contacts," Olivia said doubtfully.

"We're working through back channels of our own for that." Cyrus said. "But you have access to high-powered channels right here in D.C. I want you to see if you can connect the dots between any possible allies here and back in East Sudan. Allies of yours, who are not necessarily ours. Not openly of course."

Olivia's eyes lit in comprehension. "Now that I might be able to do."

"You would have to do it yourself." Cyrus told her. "As few people as possible need to not know about this."

"I trust my people, Cy." Olivia reminded him in a sharp voice. "I trust them with my life."

"This is not your life we're discussing. These are the lives of not only people who've been trained to put theirs on the line every day, but also of just regular Americans trying to do some good in the world."

Olivia had to consider his words. "I can't promise you that Cyrus. There's only so much I can do on my own. My people are my eyes and ears for a lot of what I do."

She paused and thought for a moment. "I'll look into it, see what I can do on my own. And the moment it becomes obvious that I need to bring my people in, I will let you know first before I make any further moves. How does that work?"

The two of them barely heard the knock on the door before it opened.

"I'd like to know just what it is that's supposed to be working?"

Both Cyrus and Olivia were stunned as they turned to see Fitz standing in the doorway.