Even Lovers Drown CH 21

Olivia's heart pounded in her chest as her eyes met his. Fitz's gaze was grim - almost recognizable - and she felt herself tremble just a little under it.

His gaze turned to Cyrus. "This was your working lunch that was so important?"

Cyrus stepped forward, in front of Olivia as though to protect her, which made Olivia both happy and sad. Happy to see her friend defend her; sad because he felt she needed protecting from the ice in Fitz's voice and gaze.

"I did tell you that there were other avenues that I wanted to explore and if I found anything concrete worth pursuing that I would bring it to your attention."

"You are also aware that Olivia Pope is currently persona non gratis in the White House - which is why, I suppose, you deliberately withheld that particular piece of information from me." There was a certain way that Fitz spoke when he was angry; he didn't have to raise his voice but a thread of steel that was cold and unforgettable would enter his voice. Anyone had it directed at them never forgot it.

Olivia hadn't, even though she'd never had the full force of it directed at her. It kept her frozen in place.

Cyrus had obviously had enough. "Olivia may be persona non gratis within the Oval Office, but there was a time that she was a very valuable asset with this administration - your administration - when it was only a campaign. A losing campaign - I might be permitted to remind you..."

"Cy - no." Olivia said.

Cyrus ignored her. "Personality disagreements mean nothing in the face of our current difficulties. When it comes to the life and welfare of American citizens abroad, I will leave no stone unturned to get them back on American soil safe and sound. Shouldn't that be our only priority?"

Cyrus' last words seemed to take Fitz aback. With an obvious effort, he bit back the harsh words hovering on his lips. Instead his eyes left Cyrus' and swung back to Olivia's.

She felt the anger in them on her skin like hot sparks against her skin. This time they were met with a rising anger of her own.

How dare he look at her like that, she thought angrily. As if he'd forgotten the role she'd played in his election. As if she hadn't continued to work for his best interests not only after he became president, but even after she'd left the White House to start her own business. She had made a mistake, true enough - she'd own that. But he was not going to be allowed to stand in front of her and disrespect her.

"Enough!" Olivia snapped loud enough that both men ceased their own bickering to look at her. But she only had eyes for Fitz. She met the challenge in his eyes with her own.

She held up one hand, fingers spread and extended, ticking off each count of words. "Three - I do not appreciate being spoken of as though I was not in the room. Two - I have always been loyal to this government. One - in the matter of loyalty - there has never been a reason to question me. If there is, then state it here and now - put it all on the table!"

Fitz's eyes hardened even more. He never took his eyes from Olivia's, but when he spoke, it was to Cyrus.

"We were supposed to meet in the Oval Office ten minutes ago, Cyrus. You can wait for me there."

"Sir?"

Fitz spared him a glance. "Are you loosing you hearing?"

"No, sir." Cyrus said. "I just don't think it's wise..."

"Neither did I say what I said in the form of a question. In other words - it wasn't one."

Cyrus stiffened as though he'd been slapped.

Fitz remained silent.

Olivia returned Fitz's glare.

It was Cyrus who broke the tableau. "Olivia...?"

"I'm good." she said without looking at him.

Cyrus looked at the both of them, then left the room quietly.

/**/

Moments after the door clicked shut, Fitz turned his gaze on her. "You have no business here." he said flatly.

"I only came because Cyrus asked me to." she shot back defiantly.

His eyes narrowed. "Cyrus. Yes, I'll be having a conversation with him later."

"If you'll move and get out of my way, I'll get out of yours so you can get to it."

"What were you and Cyrus talking about?"

"You can discuss that with Cyrus when you talk to him."

He moved to stand before her. "Loyalty - it's amazing how the two of you are loyal to each other when it suits you. Don't forget, I remember the times when you weren't."

"I could say the same. Does Amanda Tanner ring any bells?" Her brown eyes filled with fire.

"I said it before, and I'll say it again - you want to have it out, then let's do it. Let's lay everything all out on the table and be done with it!"

His eyes filled with a rage just as much as her own. For Fitz it began to burn even brighter because his reaction to her. How many times had he told himself he didn't want her?

Now, face to face with her, Fitz couldn't help but notice how lovely she was. Olivia was in one of her signature white outfits, a simple shell dress that fitted her slender body perfectly. Her make-up was flawless as always, with the soft blush pink lipstick that he preferred. Unwillingly he remembered how soft her mouth always looked- always tasted...

The tension headache that had been nagging him all morning suddenly sprang back into being with a vengeance, sharp shards of pain throbbing insistently into his temples.

Fitz didn't realize that the pain washed across his face, changing his expression.

/**/

Olivia knew that his words had a double meaning, that they were meant to. Frustration boiled up inside her. She was tired of this death by a thousand cuts. If he didn't want her here, why couldn't he just open the door and let her go? Why put the both of them through this?

Those thoughts dropped away from her as Olivia saw Fitz's face suddenly twist in pain.

"Fitz?"

"I'm - I'm okay." he said, even as he raised one hand to press at his temple.

Olivia looked at him, alarmed.

She shook her head. "You are not okay." she told him. Worry filled her eyes.

She turned from him and started to head towards Cyrus' telephone - only to feel his hand slip around her waist and pull her body backwards against his own.

Olivia let out a silent gasp as his other hand came around and settled itself on her hip. She held herself very still as it began sliding, slowly and suggestively, up and down.

This time her gasp was audible as she felt his lips press against the side of her throat, sending a blossoming of heat through her body. She knew why she should fight it, wanted to fight it, but in spite of all that had come between them, Olivia's eyes fluttered shut as the blaze in her began to smoulder, threatening to flare; to sear her control and common sense to ashes. His lips continued to press soft kisses against her skin.

"Fitz..." she managed to choke out.

He shifted against her, lifted his head. Fitz's breath was warm in her ear, causing her to shiver. "I think it could happen right there on that desk."

A shock went through her as she realized what was happening. Those were the words he'd said to her the night of his inauguration, the night he'd danced with her, the night that he'd told her that she was the most important person in his life, that he couldn't stop wanting her, loving her - and proved it by making love to her right on the desk in the Oval Office.

"Fi-" She never got the chance to finish saying his name.

His hands tightened on her, turning her so that she found herself in his arms. Everything in her head and heart collided as his lips came down against her own.

Time fled between one breath and the next as his tongue swept inside her mouth to tangle softly, sweetly with her own. That first kiss took her senses by surprise, giving her no time to defend herself against her memories, his touch, her heart, their love...

Olivia felt his head shift so that he could press his mouth more firmly against hers. His arms moved; his hands - warm and strong as they ever were - slid up and down her body in firm caresses that molded her body to him, leaving trails of fire in their wake. She struggled against her response, but it was fruitless. She hadn't felt so weak in the knees since... since the last time he'd touched her.

Olivia moaned a little, knowing that she was drowning. In her memories, under his kisses, in the love she'd tried to so hard to bury - all of it was rising up like a tsunami determined to drag her senses under.

What finally saved her was the fact that they eventually both had to come up for air.

Olivia's hands flew up to his shoulders, pushing at his shoulders. At first, he wouldn't yield; Fitz had been as lost in her touch as she'd been in his. Slowly his eyes cleared as his senses returned to him.

As she watched, the passion ebbed from his eyes. When she pushed at him again, this time he let her move him.

Fitz took a step back.

Olivia did the same.

Their eyes came up to meet one another's but neither of them knew what to say.

"What just happened?" Olivia finally managed to say. Her voice was a shocked half-whisper. "Fitz? What happened? What's wrong? Are you all right?"

Fitz just stared at her, his expression showing the full knowledge of what he had done clear on his face, but before she could ask him again, he turned on his heel and walked out of the office.

Olivia lacked the strength to do the same. Her entire body still trembled in the aftermath of Fitz's touch. Her mind was filled with chaos as past and present collided. Her senses, her heart, the same.

Blinded by it all, she managed to find her way to Cyrus' chair. A shaky hand pulled it out and then she was sinking down slowly into it, staring at the door in a mix of total shock and confusion.