Even Lovers Drown CH 49

“It has been a long time since I’ve seen my president smile.”

Fitz looked down at Jocelyn and smiled again. They were dancing in the middle of the ballroom and as he had told Mellie, once he was away from her, he was managing to enjoy himself. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had anything to smile about. Our mission isn’t complete, but we’ve made progress.”

Jocelyn shook her head. “May I respectfully request that we don’t discuss that any further for the moment?”

As he looked at her inquisitively, she continued. “You, sir, need some down time. You cannot keep going twenty-four seven. No one can. No one should.”

“I’m dancing with one of the most beautiful and intelligent women in the room - I think that counts as down time.” She was right, though and at least with Jocelyn, there was no pressure to say the right thing, or measure his words before he spoke. He could take some time to relax.

She laughed. “I won’t argue with that.”

Her expression went serious for a moment. “But it is why I suggest the change of conversation. You can’t allow yourself to forget - or force yourself not to remember - that you suffered life-threatening gunshot wounds not too long ago. You need to take care of yourself better.”

Jocelyn paused, looking slightly embarrassed as she laughed at herself. “I’m sorry, listen to me lecturing the president. I apologize.”

Fitz shook his head; her concern touched him - and knowing it was real moved him even more. It felt good. “Don’t apologize - you’re a friend lecturing a friend. It’s what friends do when they are concerned.”

Her eyes fixed themselves firmly on his face. “I’m honored that you consider me a friend, Mr. President. I would very much like to be yours.”

Fitz grinned down at her. “Well, first of all, friends don’t address one another by title when it isn’t necessary. You do know my name, don’t you?” He teased.

“I think I do.” Jocelyn hesitated. “Fitzgerald?” she said it slowly as she tried his name out.

“My friends call me Fitz.” he said with a laugh that she quickly joined in on.

“Well, Fitz, I am going to say one more thing on the matter and then the lectures for tonight will be over.  My mother and my grandmother, taught me a saying that I’ve passed on to my own daughter. ‘Remember that somebody didn’t wake up this morning, so live today like there’s no tomorrow.’ Sometimes that’s something that you just have to do. Sometimes you have to learn to do.”

The intensity in her eyes deepened, something in them that told Fitz that she was speaking of more than the subject of his rest and stress. Something deeper - more meaningful than just a family saying. She looked at him but refused to explain herself further.

They continued to dance without speaking while Fitz absorbed her words. There was a sense and sensitivity to what she’d said. Why hadn’t he had reason enough to see that for himself? He’d been a breath away from dying from a bullet in his brain. After learning about Deception, there had been moments when he’d almost let himself believe that death would have been better than the crushing feeling that had enveloped him for far too long.

But he hadn’t died. He was here.

And so was Olivia. Fitz resisted the urge to look for her. He still hadn’t been able to decide in his heart what it was he wanted. He was still angry at her, so very very angry. But if she were gone tomorrow...

Fitz smiled, slowly. "I've been taking your advice so far, so why should I stop now?" he said. "Obviously you come from a long line of incredibly strong and wise women."

“Indeed I do.” Her smile was refreshingly warm and genuine and Fitz felt his own heart lifting. “Thank you, Mr -” she caught his warning glance. “Fitz.”

The music came to an end and they joined in the applause. Fitz, not wanting this interlude from his presidential duties to end, asked Jocelyn to join him having a glass of champagne. They walked off the dance floor chatting quietly.

“I think I would like to meet your mother.” he said.

“She would have liked meeting you, but unfortunately she passed away while I was still in my teens. My grandmother had the raising of me; and stubborn petite grandmere that she was, she wasn’t ready to lay her burdens down until I was well established and secure in my own life.” Jocelyn smiled with the memory. “She had a great strength of spirit.”

“Which you’ve obviously inherited.”

“I like to think I’ve passed it on to my daughter as well.”

A voice from behind interrupted them. “Momma?”

She and Fitz turned around to see a young woman approaching them. From her looks there was no mistaking her.

Jocelyn held out her arms. “Speak of the devil and surely she appears.” she said with a chuckle as she embraced her daughter.

“Fitz, may I introduce my daughter, Shireen Davis?”

Fitz was amused to see the barely concealed awe on the younger woman’s face. “Mr. President.” she said almost breathlessly.

His eyes went to her partner; Jake was standing at full attention.

“I’m afraid I don’t know her friend.” Jocelyn said as she turned her gaze to him.

“A co-worker, actually.” Shireen remembered her manners. “Captain Jake - Jacob- Ballard.”

Jake snapped a salute to Fitz  -”Mr. President.” he said formally before he turned slightly to bow to Jocelyn. “My pleasure, Madame Envoy.”

Fitz noticed that Jake showed no familiarity towards him and decided to play along for now. He wasn’t too pleased with the man right now, anyway. The sight of him with Olivia on his arm flashed in front of him and left him with such an unpleasant feeling that Fitz felt that he had to force a smile onto his face. “At ease, Captain, neither one of us is exactly on duty at the moment.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Former Envoy,”Jocelyn corrected him with a smile. “I am not as I used to be.”

“I find that a little hard to belive, Madame, except like a fine wine, you’ve been improved by age.” Jake said.

Laughter sparkled in Jocelyn’s eyes. She glanced at her daughter.“I think I like him, daughter mine. I imagine you working well together.”

She turned to Jake. “Since you are her co-worker, I won’t bother to ask you what your duties are; my daughter tells me little enough as it is.”

“I don’t ask you about your duties either, Momma.” Shireen reminded her. “Because I, at least know better.”

Fitz laughed as Jocelyn threw him a look. “See what you have to look forward to?”

“It looks like she’s following in her family’s tradition.” Fitz laughed again as he took Shireen’s hand. “If my daughter grows up to be as beautiful as yours, then I’ll have no reason to complain.”

She was a beautiful woman, obviously taking after her mother. The only difference he could see was that her eyes were slightly tilted at their outer corners. Otherwise, she was the image of a younger Jocelyn.

“You’re as lovely as your name.” he said. “Shireen - it’s ancient Persian for ‘sweet,’ isn’t it?”

Jocelyn was pleased; she quickly explained that when she carrying Shireen, she had been working her first overseas diplomatic posting; the name had caught her eye and stuck.

“My mother always forgets to add that she was also craving plenty of Shekapare sugar-candy.”  Shireen added. A Persian treat, she explained.

“I thought you kept secrets, chere.”

“Only the necessary ones, mother of mine.”

Except for the fact that he couldn’t the sight of Jake’s arrival alongside Olivia out of his mind, Fitz was enjoying the mother-daughter exchange. It was obviously a long standing sort, full of light-hearted teasing and love; it was clear that they were friends as well as blood-relations. It was everything he hoped for his own childrens’ relation with their mother and was so afraid that they would not have.

Those thoughts were banished from his head as he noted Jake’s gaze shift for a moment. He followed the other man’s gaze and noted with a flash of unpleasantness that it focused on Olivia. She was across the ballroom dancing and talking with one of the senior ambassadors of the Irasnians - it was Adaran Farouk, Fitz realized with an unpleasant jolt - and they seemed to be deep in conversation.

That didn’t matter.  Jake’s gaze quickly slid away but that didn’t matter either. The idea that Jake was looking at her, and he couldn’t read his thoughts or his eyes sent a thin heated strand of irritation coiling through him. It spiraled upwards swiftly, in both measures of heat and intensity.

It was irrational, he tried telling himself. But even so it was real. Fitz tried turning his mind back to the conversation at hand, but found himself totally lost. He needed to get his mind on something else. So instead he struck a conversation about Jocelyn’s daughter’s jewelry. It was a safe enough conversation he thought; there wasn’t a woman alive who wouldn’t be pleased by compliments like that.

Besides, the pieces she wore seemed to be very much unique in their own right. Especially the hairpiece. He remarked upon it.

Shireen seemed startled by the question, especially when her mother stepped forward to look at it closely.

“I found it at an estate sale,” Shireen lied. “Some friends talked me into going antiquing with them a few weeks back and I found this piece of old jewelry. I thought it might be fun to wear tonight.”

“It’s very - unique.” Jocelyn said. “Have you had it appraised?”

Shireen shook her head. “I hadn’t thought about it; I guess not knowing just lends to the mystery of it all.”

Jocelyn looked thoughtful but said nothing, Fitz noticed. No matter how old they get, they never stopped being a parent. No doubt her mother was being practical, thinking of insurance and investment values, things like that.

They were interrupted by one of his officers, who apologized for the intrusion but asked to speak to the president for a moment.

“It concerns Pegasus, sir.” Pegasus was the code name for a portion of the aides kidnapping. “He looked at Jake, recognizing him as being an assistant of one the Pentagon  security chiefs.

The man turned back to Fitz. “With your permission then, sir, I’d like for Capt. Ballard to accompany us. This intel will be coming to him eventually and every eye, ear and head in on it is needed.”

The three excused themselves to one of the private cigar rooms that were located along one wall. The last one at the end of the corridor had been reserved and secure for the president.

There the officer briefed them quickly. They’d been lucky enough intercept some transmissions from an area known to be blind-eyed to the idea that rogue groups used their more remote areas as mobile bases. Quite a lengthy conversation just finished and the encryption labs are working on several translations. Some of them were being done up in ancient tongues.

“The first translations are expected to be ready for a first run-through in about ninety minutes.”

He answered a few more questions and left.

“Wait a minute.” Jake turned as if to go to the ballroom, when Fitz’s question stopped him in his tracks.

“Jake, what are you doing here with Olivia Pope?”