Even Lovers Drown CH 50

“Fitz?” Jake turned to face him with a puzzled expression.

Jake’s “Fitz?” didn’t fool Fitz at all. It was a stall tactic. At the same time, he saw how Jake’s entire self shifted as his body, and therefore his mind, went to a military readiness. Instinctively, Fitz’s body did the same.

Jake’s attempt at hesitation only fueled Fitz’s quickly rising temper. A slow burn of his senses  invaded him but he was blinded to its real source. He didn’t realize it was pure jealousy filling him, all he knew that he was angry and that anger made his voice sharper than he would have liked.

“I think it’s a reasonable question? Why is the person on your arm someone who is also the subject of the surveillance ops I brought you own board for?”

“It was serendipity, actually, Fitz...” Jake tried for a smile and a joking tone.

“You want to be very careful in how you answer me.” Fitz cut him off, the jealous anger overtaking him and making him rash.

In an instant the air between them changed; their usual camaraderie was gone. The air went heavy with a tense silence.

“Who is this asking?” Jake asked.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Fitz asked, even though he knew the answer. In the moment, he didn’t care. It didn’t matter what Jake thought; all Fitz wanted was to know was what the hell was going on. And he wanted to know now.

“Who is this?” Jake repeated. “Am I addressing my friend or the commander-in-chief?”

Fitz didn’t answer him, which was actually answer enough for the other man. Instead, he kept to the matter that was uppermost in his mind. "You haven't answered my question. Is dating your subject a new form of surveillance?"

“We are not dating.” Jake reacted to his verbal slap by straightening to full military attention. “Sir, Olivia Pope would be the first to let you know that I am definitely not her date. By coincidence and circumstances outside of my control, the opportunity to be her escort for this function came up and I took it. There’s nothing more.”

He had had questions of his own for some time and now that he found the opportunity to do so, he dared to voice them.

“You’ve brought her back into the inner circle of the White House, haven’t you?” Jake returned his answering  glare with a quick one of his own. “If it’s a matter of trust, then why did you? And if it isn’t a matter of trust, then just what is it that you have me doing?”

“You’re questioning my actions now?” Fitz’s voice was tight.

“Never. Sir. I’m questioning mine - it’s just that I find myself needing clarification on the extent of my orders.” Jake said. He was careful to keep his own temper in check, but it was very clear to see in the clenching of his jaw and the hard glint in his eyes. “I am also curious as to why you’re suddenly questioning me.”

“Your assignment was to keep an eye on her. Your escort services were not part of your orders.”

“I’ve told you why I did already. Also - if - as I've also told you, she was getting herself involved in matters that might affect your administration - I thought I might have a chance tonight to uncover that. That was my only goal.” It was all the truth except for his last words, but the lie slid easily from his lips along with the rest.

“What did she do?”

Fitz was caught off-guard by Jake’s question. “What?”

“What did she - Olivia Pope do to you?”

The question stunned Fitz into silence for a moment; Jake didn’t know what he was asking, not really. “I have my reasons.”

“That you’re not going to share.” Jake replied flatly.

“It’s not necessary that you know them at this time.”

“And why is that?”

FItz stepped closer. “You. Do. Not. Get. To. Question. Me.”

Jake didn’t back down. “And why is that?”

“Enough.” Fitz’s voice came close to a shout. He wants to grab the other man by his lapels, to stake a claim that isn’t his to make. Instead, his hands clench themselves into fists as Fitz struggle to control the sudden irrational rage that’s flooding though him. He barely succeeds. “I brought you in to do a specific assignment - if you cannot control yourself enough to accomplish it, let me know and I - I...”

He’ll what? Fitz doesn’t know what he’ll do. He will lose his last ties to Olivia, for whom else can he ask to do such a thing like this for him? The idea of this final loss snatches away his ability to think for a moment.

“You can what - sir?” Jake dared a defiant glance at Fitz. “I am in complete control of myself, Mr. President. I can and will do whatever my Commander-In-Chief orders. But I don’t understand the problem here. And if you don’t believe any of what I’ve told you, then you can ask the lady in question yourself."

“Let’s do that.” The hot energy that was boiling inside of Fitz made him eager, swift to move, leaving Jake to follow. They returned inside to the ballroom. There was a pause to speak a hastily breathed excuse to Jocelyn and her daughter, and then he walking across the ball room to Olivia’s table.

Another song was starting up, so most of the people were leaving their seats and heading for the floor. Others had already retreated to the edges of the room, to gather in small and shifting groups, conversations eddying and flowing in the wake of the melodies filling the room.

The rest of her party were nowhere to be seen. Olivia, however, was still at the table, standing with her back towards him, so she had no warning of his approach.  As he drew closer, Fitz saw yet another naval officer standing before her, his mannerisms showing that he was obviously asking her to dance.

Another man... One that had danced with her earlier, he’d kept track of every man that had. Unreasonably, Fitz’s anger grew even hotter, even though she put up a hand and shook her head gently. The other man walked away with a dejected half-smile; she turned to take her seat - and then she saw him and froze in mid-motion.

Despite the music, despite the lights and noise all around, for them, there was suddenly an odd little pocket of silence surrounding them. Or was it just the space of breath between his heart and hers?

“Olivia.” he hadn’t had a chance before now to really look at her, and in spite of the pounding in his head and the heat in his chest, Fitz had to take a moment, a breath, to take her all in. Draped in silver and white, asparkle with diamonds, the sight of her had the effect of erasing all else from his mind. That lasted until she spoke.

“Mr. President.” Cool. Polite. So unlike his Livvie.

“Are you enjoying yourself this evening? Enjoying the company?”  He found his voice, his mixed emotions giving it strength.  A part of him knew that Jake was somewhere behind  him and privy to the words he was speaking, but Fitz found that he no longer cared. He knew his words had something of an accusatory note in them, but Fitz found that he didn’t care about that either.  He was unexplainably tense, angry and unsure and that made him even angrier at the loss of control.

“I’m finding the company I’m keeping very nice, thank you.”

“I see.” He could be as cool and polite as she could, Olivia noted. Wrong, not cool. His voice could never be anything but warm. As warm as a smooth and well-aged scotch. Her lips firmed themselves just the slightest bit, refusing his voice to have its usual effect on her. Other than that, there was no sign of her true reaction.

“I just met one of your table mates.” he said.

Her eyes went from him to Jake and back again. For a split second, Olivia thought about smiling at Jake. It was a satisfying thought - she most definitely didn’t answer to anyone but herself - but better sense advised against it - there was something about the tone of his voice and the look in Fitz’s eye that warned her not to.

As carefully as he was speaking, what he was feeling was something different about him, something was running deep below the surface right now. After all this time, she realized that she still knew how to read Fitz, still knew his moods no matter how well he hid them from others. But now she realized that they were very very dangerous emotions that she was unable to read. Unable to resist reacting, her insides nervously fluttered.

“Him? No, he’s a co-worker of someone I recently met.” she said.

“Shireen Davis - yes, that’s who I meant.” Fitz saw her gaze move to Jake then back to his. His response surprised him - he felt a tightness in his chest and resisted the impulse that wanted his hands to curl up into fists; he tried to cover up his reaction with a lie. “I didn’t know that you knew her.”

“Like I said, it’s a recent acquaintance. In D.C., it’s not too hard to meet people who know people that you know.” She said.

She knew something, Fitz realized. Olivia knew he was having a reaction - but she didn’t know the what or why of it. Neither, Fitz realized, did he.

“Or you think you know.” A moment after the words had left his lips, Fitz knew how they were going to be received. And it hadn’t meant it that way; he hadn’t meant that to be about them at all.

But he wasn’t in the mood for apologizing either. Not in so many words, at any rate. It didn’t make sense and he didn’t care, all of a sudden, all that mattered was what he wanted right now.

Fitz started to put out one hand towards her, then changed his mind. Too late; her eyes caught the gesture; Olivia looked at his hand then at him. He couldn’t read the thoughts behind her gaze and that only angered him more.

“We need to have a conversation.” he told her. Damn it, Fitz thought, he needed to know what was going on. He didn’t trust coincidences; he dealt with facts drawn from several sources. He’d heard Jake’s side, now he wanted hers. And he was going to get it.

“I’ll also point out that it might look peculiar to those who know us both that we haven’t danced with one another all evening.”

“And this matters - why?” her answer was swift and short.

“Because,” Fitz found his anger rising again without knowing exactly why. “it would possibly raise questions that don’t need raising at this time. You’re too smart and too closely tied to this administration not to know that. So don’t pretend that you don’t.”

He was right, and that did nothing for Olivia’s feelings. He could see her own temper beginning to rise and all it did was fuel his own.

She did do her best to rein it in. Olivia tried to get out of his invitation politely. “I just turned down one of the Joint Chiefs- it wouldn’t look particularly gracious of me to turn around and dance with someone else.”

Fitz shrugged. “The song is almost ended...”

That much was true; the last bars of music were drifting to an ending. Couples were dropping away from one another, followed by a soft round of applause.

“And besides-” and the timbre his voice took - low, intense and determined -  snatched her feelings away and turned them upside down like the first sudden swoop of a rollercoaster. His eyes smouldered with intent as they fixed themselves on her. “I am the president of the United States. I don’t accept no as an answer.”