Even Lovers Drown CH 51

She caught herself before she put action to thought, but Olivia’s first response was to throw that arrogant remark right back in his face. It didn’t get directed in her direction very often, but the mantle of authority and command that was a part of him was in full effect. It was a part of him, often unconscious, his charisma, a part of what had gotten him elected. He’d had it tonight,  and he had it now - it filled the air between them with a volatile challenge.

There was something more to it, though. Olivia thought as she stared back at him. Knowing him as she did, she sensed the anger seething just below the surface. It made her wary, but no less willing to give him.

The problem was - that kind of power was its own brand of aphrodisiac. Against her will, Olivia felt herself respond. Her pulse began to race and her body tightened with remembered desire as his voice reached her in places that they shouldn’t.

And right now, Olivia told herself sternly, that was the last thing she needed. She didn’t realize it, but she raised her chin in a gesture of defiance. It was more directed to herself than it was to Fitz, but there was no way that he could know that.

Fitz watched her chin lift slightly; her quiet defiance fueled his own. When her eyes flashed fire as they were doing now, they did strange things to his insides. A heavy throb of heat went through him. Recognizing his rising desire for what it was, it only fed the flames. Fitz realized that he was coming dangerously close to losing his temper here and now. Her next words didn’t help.

“Maybe that’s part of the problem.” Olivia said. She was not here for herself, Olivia reminded herself. She was here to serve not only as the administration subtle eyes and ears, but for her own client as well. She did not have time for this.

And truthfully, she didn’t have the heart for this, either. It was better for them both if they avoided a confrontation, so Olivia tried for the obvious way out. He’d been angry with her off and on for so long, she’d use it against him. “Hearing no once in awhile is good for everyone.”

She tried to move past him, to get away, but Fitz had no intention of that happening.  One hand reached out and caught her by the arm; that hand quickly slid down to take her own, enfolding her in an iron grip she couldn’t break.

Before she could react, Fitz was drawing her with him onto the dance floor. Nothing short of the jaws of life could have pried her hand loose from his. It was obvious that the only thing that would get her loose would be to jerk away and cause a scene.

Fitz didn’t care what she had to say; he was going to get what he wanted no matter what. He felt her stiffen as he reached out and took her by the arm, but he was sure Olivia wouldn’t do anything to draw unwanted attention to them - she was much too professional for that.

Not that she wasn’t thinking it. It was very clear in her eyes that she was definitely thinking it. Her body was stiff as his free hand slid down lower to encircle her waist.

“This isn’t a good idea...” Olivia finally managed to find her voice. She refused to look at him even as they moved into the rhythm of the music.

“I didn’t ask you if it was.” he said. His voice might be cool, but his eyes were anything but. “But I have questions, and I want answers.”

That brought her gaze up sharply for a moment.

“Mr. President,” she looked away again, trying in vain to put a wall between them. “Whatever you wanted to ask me, could have waited for a more opportune time.”

She felt his eyes on her, willing her to look at him. Olivia sensed that he wasn’t going to stop, so finally she forced her eyes to meet his.

“And if that’s what I wanted to do, then that’s what I would have done.” he said. His eyes bored down at her. “Maybe being this close, just maybe I’ll be able to see the truth in your eyes as we talk.”

“What kind of questions?”  Olivia struggled against her own feelings, trying not to rise to his baiting, not to react to his closeness, or the touch of his hands on her. “And if someone notices that our conversation seems a bit intense, just how will you explain it?”

“I won’t.”

Her eyes widened at his words.

“When I choose to, I don’t answer to anyone.” Fitz said. He didn’t care how he sounded; he was only telling her the truth.

“And neither do I.” Olivia shot back, stung by the easy arrogance in his tone.

“That’s not quite true, Olivia.” Fitz wasn’t thinking as he closed the space between them.

“Why are we doing this here and now?” Olivia tried to move backward, to put some much-needed space between them. Fitz this close was dangerous to her system. And for some reason, he seemed more dangerous than ever in ways she couldn’t even begin to put words to.  She tried to free herself again, but the hand on her waist slid around her, not only holding her in place but drawing her closer.  The heat of his body touching hers seared through the fabric, scorching her senses.

“Because I wanted right here and right now.” He cocked his head slightly as he studied her face. “I find myself full of questions as to how you arrived here tonight on the arm of a Pentagon officer and for what purpose?”

“Jake?” she reacted with surprise.

“And I see you know him well enough to be on a first name basis with him.” Fitz didn’t care what he sounded like. He just wanted to know what was going on. “Again, for what purpose?”

“Purpose?” she looked puzzled for a moment. Her voice turned incredulous. “Purpose! What do you think - that I’m after military secrets?” she laughed then, but it was humourless and held a note of disbelief. “How dare you think -”

“Don’t!” Fitz’s voice started to rise. but he caught himself. He knew that what he was saying was farfetched but he couldn’t help himself. Jealousy was ruling both his head and his heart. “Don’t insult my intelligence! What you do depends very much on secrets and intelligence and we both know it. You’re working with the administration right now - with me right now - but I’m well aware that you have other clients. And now you show up with an Intel officer - what else am I supposed to think?”

Olivia forgot their surroundings, forget others might be watching as her anger got the best of her.

“You’re supposed to think that I have a little more integrity and intelligence than to show up at a public event with someone who would cause me any amount of suspicion! Accuse me of what you like for what’s happened between us - but if what you are trying to insinuate is that I’m some sort of opportunist? Don’t you dare.”

“Like you’ve shown so much restraint in the past!? Or have you forgotten all about Thorngate and Edison Davis?”  Visions of her and the senator crept unbidden - unwanted - hated - into his mind, the pictures he’d been given acting like fuel on the fire.

“Enough!” she hissed. She wished she could shout it at him. They were not going to go down this road again. She couldn’t take it, it hurt too much the last time. It hurt every night she heard his words in her head. She did this to him. She knew it - she knew it - the pain echoed in time with her heart and her heart pounded as though it would burst through her chest.

The song ended and another one began; Olivia tried once again to slip free of his embrace, but he refused to let her go. He was not going to stand by and watch this happen. He had put the two of them in the same orbit, but he wasn’t going to make it easy for her to move on... His mind refused to accept that line of thought.

“Then tell me why you’re here with him - Eddison was on the Intel committee and you used the information you got from him - and from what I understand, he was well rewarded for his troubles. It worked for you once - how do I know you’re not planning on it working again?”

She froze for a second as though he’d slapped her. Olivia might have stumbled, but Fitz wasn’t relenting. He kept her moving even though she felt as stiff and cold as a statue.

“So, now we’re keeping score of my indiscretions, are we?” The anger and pain in her voice stabbed him like an ice pick in the chest, piercing him to the core.

Her voice went trembly with it. “I get it - you still don’t trust me, you still haven’t forgiven me! And if you never do, it’s all my fault, isn’t that right? Is this still the waiting part - or are you done with that? I haven’t been keeping score as well as you obviously have been doing!”

“You don’t get it!” Fitz said in a harsh half-whisper. “You don’t get it at all!”

Her voice was pitched low so it wouldn’t carry, but it didn’t lessen the intensity. “What? That there’s still a part of you that doesn’t want to forgive me!? Well, this should make you happy - I haven’t forgiven myself yet either. Maybe I’ll never be able to forgive myself - does that make you happy at last?”

“No, it doesn’t!”

He felt her pain, his pain, all of it all together. He opened his mouth to speak, to say something, anything.

But another voice was speaking instead of his.

“That’s enough.”

They both turned to see Jake standing there. He held out a hand to Olivia, but his eyes went from her face to Fitz’s. “I think it’s way past time I cut in.”

//**//

Olivia didn’t realize that she was shaking until she’d taken Jake’s hand. He didn’t say anything, not even after he’d danced them both away from the president. She couldn’t say anything for several long moments, while she fought to get her thoughts in order.

“I apologize for interrupting, but - but things just didn’t look good.” he said. Jake took a few moments to look down at her. “Are you all right?”

She wasn’t, of course, but how could she ever explain that to Jake? She didn’t want to lie either. “I will be. The president and I just had a difference in opinion. It happens more often than you would think.”

“A difference of opinion.” It was a hell of a lot more than that, but Jake knew not to press her. He’d backed off from the two of them once they had walked out onto the dance floor, but had kept an eye on them as best he could. They had managed to conceal their disagreement for the most part, but as the second song had begun, Jake could tell that they were both ready to escalate into an open confrontation. For both of their sakes, he’d been left with no choice but to intervene.

From the looks they’d both given him when he had, Jake knew that he had gained points with neither one of them.

Jake was well aware that there were currents swirling around that he had no knowledge of, let alone how deep they might be. Some he might guess at, some he didn’t even want to wade into at all, but for now - at least for tonight he decided that the best thing to do was to keep the situation firmly in the shallow end. He ventured a smile at Olivia instead of the questions he wanted to ask.

“I don’t suppose that the president informed you that I am going to have to play Cinderella tonight, did he?”

Olivia shook her head. “No, you were not the subject of our - conversation.”

“I think that was easy to figure out, even from across the room.” he said. Jake sighed. “Look, I’ll probably get called in before the hour is out. But I want you to stay and enjoy yourselves with the others.”

She started to protest but Jake cut her off.  “I’ll make all the necessary arrangements with the driver to come back and pick you up after I leave. I want you to stay and have a not too good of the time for the rest of the evening so that I’ll have an excuse to promise that I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

He looked at her again. “Unless you think you can’t stay - if it isn’t wise, or safe...”

Jake didn’t know it, but he’d said the right thing. A new light came into Olivia’s eyes. She was not about to let Fitz run her off like she was some sort of disobedient little girl sent to her room. Not. At. All.

“I’ll stay.” she said to Jake “I’m staying.” Olivia welcomed the smile he gave her.

“Good.” Jake said. “And it’s not like you aren’t here to work as well - I do know you well enough for that. Tell me that I’m wrong.”

She didn’t deny it, Jake noted. The question was, of course, working at what? He couldn’t help but wonder about that; Jake didn’t like unanswered questions. Like not knowing what had Fitz and Olivia discussed in private and what Fitz had pointedly not said to him. But he knew he wasn’t going to find the answers tonight.

“In the meanwhile, I do have some time left - where would you rather spend it - here at the table, where I can be all kinds of charming and amusing, where we can indulge in some more verbal foreplay, where we ask each other all kinds of fascinating questions and are equally very unhelpful in answering them - or out on the dance floor - where I can be both simply charming and amusing?”

Simple was what she needed right about now. Olivia stood and offered him her hand.  “Surprise me.”

Hopefully, charming and amusing would take her mind off of Fitz.