Vvv

      "I heard you've been hanging out around Legacy lately. What's the deal?" Blake speared the steak on his plate straight into his mouth, talking out of the side of it as he pointed his knife in Milo's direction.

    "No deal. Just do a few open mic nights there." Milo shrugged off the obvious questioning in the sound of his friend's voice. Legacy was a club known for its sketchy yet rich clientele. No one went there to party without being doped up out of their minds, and Blake knew that it would be nearly impossible to stand in the same place where drugs were used so frequently and carelessly. Knowing Milo's past, he felt like a protective older brother looking out for him.

   "You don't want to fuck around with that shit. It's not good for you." His eyes were still narrowed, skeptical of Milo's intentions.

   "Come on, man. I get out of the house so that I don't have to hear my mother lecturing me on my every move."

   "Mothers do know best." Blake had never met the woman before, but by the constant phone calls and silent complaints Milo made about not having any privacy, he completely understood where she was coming from. He had five years on Milo's twenty two, and he saw their relationship as a big brother little brother type, him giving him things to do and keeping him out of trouble. Their circle turned out not to run too large, and once Milo had come back into town, talking and whispering stirred about his hiatus. He had heard Jade Moncla getting thrown into the mix, and he himself had a few run ins with the woman, and could see her untamed attitude from a mile away, and kept her at arm's length.

   "Yeah, well when you become one I'll start taking your advice more seriously. As for right now, just know that I've got me. Okay?" Milo began feeling slightly strained as he spoke. He knew he was young, and he knew that tended to make people want to immediately step into the position of his caretaker like he was still the broken kid he was years ago. He put an end to that side of the conversation quickly as Blake picked up the hint, casually transitioning into talking about something else.

   His eyes lifted once his ears picked up the sound of Roddrick just a few tables over. He watched as she smiled down at group of other men as they flirted with her without shame; one even ventured as far as to place a hand on her waist as she began to leave the table, drawing her back into conversation with a visible discomfort upon her features.

  Reaching a hand out to the silverware he had yet to use, Milo lifted them high enough above the table to make a clatter that was sure to draw attention. When Roddrick's head shot around, thinking that she would have to clean up a broken glass, she caught sight of Milo's slightly raised hand and the small shrug he gave her.

   It was a perfect out from the touchy feely men who had slowly began to rev up with their game of conquest that seemed to be played among them. She wasn't deaf or blind, so she had caught the sly glances and lewd comments as she worked. She could tell that the idiots had money, and she crossed her fingers that if she played along by her own rules, she could end up with a nice wad of cash on the table. A nice 20% from all five would do her just fine.

    "I'll be back to check on you later. Enjoy your meal." She tried her best to keep up the perky attitude as she walked away quickly. Before she could take a detour, she found herself drawn into Milo and Blake's table, and her smile immediately dropped when she saw the pleased expression on his face as she came near.

   "Is everything going well for you tonight?" She let her words sound detached as she gave them  the complementary questions to help enhance their dining experience.

   "Fantastic." Blake spoke as Roddrick gave him a genuine smile.

    "I'd have to agree. This chicken dish you suggested? Out of this world."

   "It's chicken parmesan." Lips pursed, Roddrick gripped her hands in front of her apron.

   "Well, this isn't like any chicken parmesan I've ever had before. I'm telling you, would you like to taste to see?" Milo lifted the fork in his hand, offering it to Roddrick.

   "I don't know where your mouth has been. No thanks."

   "Now that's a li-"

   "Is there anything I can get for you? A refill? More napkins?" Directing her attention to Blake, Roddrick was barely able to control the flare up of heat that rushed to her face as Milo's voice reached a lower and huskier octave. Looking at Blake was like having a bucket of cold water thrown on her, bringing her back to her senses instantly.

   "Well," Blake looked to the two glasses she had already brought out before he got through his first drink, "I think I have a long way to go before that next refill." He watched as Roddrick looked down and understood what he meant. Stumbling over her words, she stuck with a simple smile to show her forgetfulness.

   "You're right. I'll leave you to that then." Cutting her eyes back at Milo, she half expected his eyes to be hovering over her ass, and was ready to catch him in the act, but she was proven wrong as he looked directly into her eyes with a slight frown.

   "I think there's a little bias at the table." Looking to his glass of water that was now empty, he raised an open palm. " I haven't been offered one refill tonight." His words weren't malicious nor upset, but amused.

    "You're thirst is real..." She said under her breath as she cocked out her hip, placing her hand upon it.

   "Pardon?..." Milo leaned forward, feigning deafness as she twirled away.

     "What the hell are you doing?"  Blake leaned across the table whispering fiercely. Earlier that day, he had prodded Milo on his obvious infatuation with the photographer that left her flustered throughout the entire shoot. He picked up on the vibes instantly, and when he asked, Milo had given him a nonchalant shrug.

    "We've got a little bit of history."

      He had thought that Roddrick was one of the girls Milo had boned in the past, and was trying to get reacquainted with which was obviously not happening anytime soon with the way she seemed to repel his every move.

    "I'm just asking for my refill. You have no room to talk; she's been catering to you all night."

   "She's going to end up spitting in your shit..."

    The clank of a glass meeting the table caused them both to jump as Roddrick returned.

   "Hopefully this will do it for you. Seriously." Her last word was spoken softly, meant only for him. It was her last warning to Milo for the night. All she wanted was for him to say the magic words and ask for his check so that she could get him out of her sight.

   "Thank you so much. Really, I appreciate that." Silently, Roddrick began to step back from the table as she left. Her chest released a heavy sigh as she looked towards the wall where servers rushed in out of swinging doors. She read the clock-just a couple more hours and she would be free.

    She willed herself to hang in until then.

Vvv

       Roddrick unbuttoned the sleeves of her shirt, rolling them up above her elbows as she walked to her bike. Her tips in cash tucked away safely in the bag that clung to her body.

   "See you Rodd."  Behind her she heard the sound of trash being thrown into a dumpster as one of the kitchen hands called out to her. She waved her goodbyes as she unlocked her ride home. Reaching to the front, she clicked a button as light flooded the street before her. It was an addition to her bike that Roderica had insisted she buy for her own safety, knowing that Roddrick took the thing nearly everywhere she went.

     She had never thought about purchasing one before, but was grateful now that it helped ease her ride home. As she rode, her mind drifted to the torn cardboard that once displayed the restaurants happy hour drink. Written in black ink was a faint number left behind at the table where Milo sat, wrapped up in his generous tip. Before she had left for home, she had already managed to ball it up and trash the paper twice, before she dove into the trashcan just as it was being taken out, retrieving the number one last time. She stuffed it into her pants pocket paying it no mind to the best of her abilities, but now she was beginning to wonder why she was holding on to it.

   She never foresaw that she would have to deal with a man who so blatantly wanted to explore their relationship past the quickie that transpired between them.

   It had been the perfect storm: both were vacationing abroad, one night, no awkward morning after, and not even a name or information exchange between them. He should have been satisfied with that, especially since it seemed that both of them had a clean sheet when it came to STDs any other surprises that could come back to bite them in the ass.

  Why was he making it so difficult to forget him?

   When Roddrick came through the front doors of her mother's home, she was met with the distant sound of the living room TV. Slowly, and mindful of the sleeping form on the couch, she closed the door. Cracking and rubbing her neck and shoulders, Roddrick followed the dimmed light which shone from the dining room.

    There her mother sat, unmoving and unaware to her presence. Roddrick held off on announcing it as she watched her mother's eyes run across a paper she held in between her hands. There was a torn envelope lying haphazardly close to the edge of the table. It was then that she noticed Rockelle raising a hand to her face to remove her glasses. Under the yellow light, Roddrick could see the traces of tears falling down her cheeks.

   "What's wrong, Mama?" Her voice startled the other woman, and as she turned in her chair, her arm cleared off the envelope as it floated beneath the table. Roddrick had forgotten about the pain in her neck that was Milo that night, and quickly began to wonder what it was that had Rockelle in such a state.

    "I didn't hear you come in, baby." Rockelle folded the papers she held, tucking them away into the crook of her house robe as she faced her daughter. Roddrick went to her side as she reached for her cane, and pulled herself up to stand.

   "I saw Roderica sleeping out front; I didn't want to wake her." Her brooding face watched Rockelle's carefully, trying her best to read it. "Why were you crying?" She lowered her eyes to the place where she had tucked what she was reading away.

   "Oh, I wasn't doing anything like that. How did tonight go? Did you work hard? I can heat you up a plate to eat if you're still hungry. I know it's late but I left one wrapped up just in case." Rockelle was in the midst of opening the fridge as she prepared the food for Roddrick. Taking her seat, Roddrick looked down as she sneaked a look at the tossed away envelope. The front was facing away from her, so she couldn't read who it had come from. Slipping it closer with the toe of her shoe, she kept a close eye on her mother as she spoke without pause. Folding it, she slipped it under her thigh as Rockelle placed a plate in front of her.

    The hunger inducing scent of the red beans and rice made her stomach grumble out loud, telling her she had neglected it more than she had thought. Roddrick took a deep breath, allowing the smells to waft into her nose as she picked up her spoon and began mixing the dish just the way she liked it.

   "My tomatoes are just gorgeous. They're coming out so well, I could pick a few today. Here, taste." Roddrick reached into the small bowl she was given, popping a cherry tomato in her mouth before giving her mother a thumbs up.

   "These are good, Mama."

    "Mhm. You've always loved you some tomatoes. Pepèr would take you out and pick them all of the time, you'd come back just as round as one, you'd eat so many."

   "Have you spoken to Pepèr and Memèr?" Roddrick watched as her mother nodded her head.

   "They're doing well. You know they still run that summer festival, they're getting ready for all of that pretty soon here." Roddrick's memories of said festivals came rushing back to her. She remembered the music, the dancing, and the food that was always there in abundance. She loved playing games and listening to stories told by older members of their community who were lucky enough to live and help pass on their culture to the younger generation by oral traditions.

   The last time they had went there it had all been a disaster. She could still remember the way her father had driven his car past the fence and decorated set up of the festival, parking within the boundaries as he stalked calmly through the crowded space and scanned everyone. He was determined to find his wife and kids and bring them back home after he had told Rockelle to not take the day trip many times before. Roddrick had been running around with cousins of hers, showing off Roderica, and how she could make her spin until she tumbled over. She had been snatched up by the nape of her neck, and she could still feel the fear from Clint's burning glare as he took notice of her face paint and other proof of Rockelle's disobedience. Roddrick had cried the entire way home, telling her father that she had been the one to make their mother take them. That she had been the one to cry and plead like a baby, and how she was sorry for doing it. She had watched his tight grip on Rockelle's wrist leave red imprints behind, and had even reached forward to pry them away before being shoved into the back of the seat, hitting her head against the hard upholstery.

   That night, she remembered sitting back on her haunches as she listened to her father scream and shout with her mother in their locked bedroom. She had been cringing from the sting of her bottom, and the back of her thighs where a leather belt had met her skin viciously; hands curled over Roderica's ears as the harsh thudding against the thin walls seemed to rock their world.

    "I haven't been to one of those since I was what? Nine?" Her voice croaked without her permission as she spoke. Reaching for her glass of water, she tried to relieve the scratchy feeling that was left behind.

     "I hate that I didn't get to take you girls to more of those, especially Roderica. She had only been to a few." Rockelle held her chin in one hand, and reached out to Roddrick's with the other; caressing her thumb across the back of her hand.

    Roddrick finished her meal in silence, with only the sound of the wall clock and the occasional clinking of her spoon against the dish she ate from. As she prepared to stand up, she remembered the envelope she had tucked away beneath her, and before she could figure out a plan to keep it on her as she got up, Rockelle had already taken the bowl from her.

   "Can you get Roderica up and move her to her bed for me?"

   With a breath of relief, Roddrick shook her head, and as soon as her mother's back was turned, she quickly stuffed her back pocket with the envelope, careful to not let too much of it show.

   As she peered over Roderica, she grinned from the sight her opened mouth and soft snores as she shook her shoulder.

    "You're in my bed, Rodey." She nudged an incoherent Roderica from the couch, steadying her when she stumbled around. Without opening her eyes, she made her way back to her bedroom, mumbling what was probably a good night to the other women as she closed herself off into the room.

   Immediately, she began to unbutton her clothes as she felt too tired to take a shower that night. It would have to wait until that morning.

   "Make sure you lock up and turn off the lights before you knock out honey." Rockelle moved past Roddrick, rubbing her back in the process as she moved to her own room. Roddrick called out a good night to her, waiting for the sound of her door meeting it's frame before throwing herself down onto the couch. She heard the crinkling of paper, and slowly withdrew the number Milo had slipped to her. Without a second thought, she tossed it into a pile of papers near her laptop, allowing it to get lost within the mess that accumulated there.

    Turning over to her stomach, she began unfolding the envelope that seemed to something of secrecy with her mother. When she heard the creak of floorboards, she halted her movements and waited for the sound to go away along with the flush of a toilet.

   When she could breathe again, her eyes slowly lowered to the cursive handwriting in the top left corner. The mail had been torn slightly, and as she fit the pieces back together, she could feel the life drawn from her as she slowly came to recognize the name.

   Her breathing became heavy, erratic even as she read the name Clint Kennedy over and over again. The blood in her head all seemed to rush to her ears, filling them with a slushing noise as her hand curled into a fist around the paper. Throwing it to the side, she sat up abruptly with anger lighting her veins.

   What the hell was he doing contacting them? How the hell did he get their address in the first place?

   For one thing, she knew no one in her family would have given it up. Not her grandparents, no way Roderica could or would have as she seemed to completely block out that time period in her life where Clint was involved. Roddrick would have to be strung up by her toes and beaten to death before she ever thought to contact that man.

   Jaw going slack, Roddrick blinked rapidly with the sudden realization. The pain in her eyes could have beamed straight through the wooden door of her mother's bedroom as she cast a glance over her shoulder. All at once, Roddrick began feeling angry and confused. She wanted to bust into the bedroom and confront her mother on what she had found, to get an answer and explanation as to why she was talking to him again.

   Bile rose in her throat, burning a disgusting path along its way as Roddrick constrained herself to the couch. When the tears at her eyes began to fall, she drew her legs up towards her, realizing that out of everything she could and should have been feeling, she had fallen victim to hurt as her mind raced with a reason for Clint Kennedy's name existing in their home.

Vvv

Three Months Later

     Roddrick took a deep breath as she sat alone in the sterile room of the local clinic. She surveyed the old and outdated magazines which were shelved on the wall as the doctor knocked softly before entering. Roddrick froze as she waited for the woman to take a seat before her.

    "How are you doing today? I know you're anxious to hear your update, right?" Roddrick shook her head before realizing that she hadn't spoken yet.

   "It would be a lot of weight off my shoulders to know."

   "Well, let me tell you Ms. Kennedy that you can relax. Our results show just what we had seen before. All of the tests turned up negative for any STDs." The cool and calming voice from the doctor helped to finally ease the feeling of trepidation that had followed her into the clinic, and for the first time, Roddrick smiled.

   "Thank you...thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done if-" Too stunned by her luck, Roddrick finished her sentence with a happy laugh.

   "Well, the good thing is that we'll never have to find out, right? Now, you take care of yourself. Wear protection. Be careful of your partners, Ms. Kennedy. Not everyone gets such good news, be thankful that you weren't one of them."

   "Of course, of course."Holding out her hand, the doctor was amused by Roddrick's vigorous shake in return.

   "Now go on home, and enjoy yourself. I hope this is the first and last time I have to see you ." She spoke as she headed towards the door.

   "Don't hope. I'm more than sure this is the last time you'll ever see my face." Roddrick received a silent chuckle and goodbye as she was left alone, but not for long as she followed right behind her bearer of good news just seconds later.

      Roddrick drew her light jacket closer to her body as she stepped out into the mid October air. Over the past couple of months, she had managed to put on a few extra pounds from stress, and it showed as her beloved fall wardrobe seemed to fit snugger than usual.

   She had started to incorporate more exercise into her life other than her bike; opting to walk more places and do home videos for an added bonus. She knew that her efforts were pointless as it seemed she easily turned to her mother's home cooking whenever her emotions began to take a toll on her. To Roddrick, she just figured that she had begun to relapse to her teenage years where she would purge and binge on food nonstop to cope with any problems or issues she had. Just like then, jeans stretched a little tighter, and she had to up her bra size to accommodate the weight that seemed to head straight for her chest.

   Roddrick knew that if she didn't get things under control, then she would balloon up before the blink of an eye. Glancing at her cell phone, she saw that she had more than enough time to get across town and to Danny's studio before a shoot on her schedule. It was fall, and the time of the year when parents scheduled sessions to have their babies dressed up in pumpkin outfits and to have a few colored leaves thrown around so that they could send out greeting cards to family members.

    She actually found herself looking forward to working with a few drooling screaming babies that day, thinking that it could actually be a way for her to relieve a bit of pent up tension and stress that she had been carrying around.

     A month after discovering the envelope that had been sent by her father, and was addressed to her mother, Roddrick had broken her vow of silence as she came across more as the weeks went by. She had confronted Rockelle one night over dinner, asking her what was so important that she had to keep it hidden from everyone else.

   She had flown into a fit of defensiveness against her daughter as she told her to mind her own business, and that she had mistaken everything for something that it wasn't. They had quickly escalated into a screaming match at the dinner table, leaving a confused and trembling Roderica screaming for them to stop. She had watched her sister run off into her room, locking herself away and not answering neither her or their mother as they tried to make amends with her. Roderica had refused to talk to either one of them while they were mad, and there had been a silent treatment plaguing the house for nearly two weeks as they walked around on eggshells around one another.

   Now, another two months later, Roddrick couldn't deny the tension that still existed between them. They're conversations had become short and terse, losing the warmth and affection they once held. It hurt her to the core that they had fallen into such an awkward act, but not nearly as much as being left out in the cold when it came to knowing the nature of the rekindling that seemed to be going on between her mother and father. She felt betrayed and lied to, and didn't know how to make it any more clearer to Rockelle how much she disapproved of what she could only imagine what was happening between the two exes.

   When she arrived at the studio, Roddrick was greeted by the smell of fresh muffins and meat. Before she had even gotten through the door, she had already made a beeline for the source of the smell permeating her thoughts.

   "Damn girl, you ran past me to get to that food." Roddrick stopped mid bite at the sound of Danny from the doorway. Her eyes went to her small plate guiltily as she saw that she had managed to pile it with the bacon, miniature muffins, and fruits that had been put out for that morning. Careful not to choke on the mouthful she already had, she placed the plate down behind her back and turned with a burning sensation behind her eyes. She felt like crying for being caught eating in secret like that, and even though she knew Danny was only joking with her, she still felt highly embarrassed by the way she acted like she hadn't eaten in a week.

    "I had a busy morning...doctor's appointment. So I didn't get to eat." Tucking her hair behind her ears, Roddrick watched the slimmer woman walk her way as she waved her hand before her.

   "Come on Roddrick. I didn't mean anything by it."She said sincerely as she saw the slight flush of her cheeks. Danny and Roddrick had gotten hooked up in high school, one day when she had overheard the snickering and rude comments coming from a group of girls in the lunch line as they provided a very public mocking of the things Roddrick had placed on her tray. Before she had dropped everything and ran from sight, Danny walked right up beside her, skipping the girls in line, and asked her where she had gotten a couple of the items she had chosen. Roddrick had thought that she was one of the girls coming to make an even bigger fool out of her as she quietly pointed in different directions.

   When she had paid and left to eat lunch in a vacant hallway, she had been surprised and weary of Danny as she followed her out. That first day, they had sat across from each other quietly as they ate, and slowly as time went by, Danny made her way to right beside her, then they progressed to their own table in the lunch room. Before they knew it, Roddrick and Danny began to share laughs and a friendship which had spanned nearly a decade now.

     Taking a piece of bacon off of her plate, Danny narrowed her eyes as she watched Roddrick.

    "You look...chipper today." She saw that her friend held a very different aura about herself today. She had seemed to be living in a self-contained gloom for months now-worse than usual. Whenever she had asked what was wrong or what she could do to help, she had been assured that everything was everything.

   "I ain't got the clap." Roddrick forced down the giggle of excitement before it could burst forth. Danny's eyes widened in surprise as she drew Roddrick near.

   "The clap? You gotta be getting dick from somewhere to get that. Who are you sexing? Wait don't tell me, was it that damn Brian? He give you some dormant shit? Now you know all those cheap raunchy hoes he messed with were just like him: not worth shit! I told you Roddrick..." It was then that she remembered that she had never filled Danny in on her escapades during her trip.

   "It wasn't Brian." She spoke as Danny continued ranting.

   "What do you mean it wasn't him? He's the only guy you've been with. Look, after work I'm going to go hunt his black ass down and fuck him up for you. Bringing some shit he caught back home to you. Nah, I'm not going to let him fuck around with you after all of this time now. Uh uh. Nope."

   "It wasn't Brian, Danny. It was someone else. A few months back." Roddrick waited for her words to process as she stuffed her mouth with the last bite of her muffin. She watched as Danny's eyes brightened and quickly settled down into a glower.

   "You mean to tell me. That you, my best friend in the whole wide world, are seeing someone and didn't think to tell me? For real? Tell me I'm imagining things." Folding her arms, she shook her head in disbelief.

   "I know, I know. It's just that---I'm not seeing anyone, and never was. We just kind of hooked up..."

    "When!" Danny squealed.

   "Remember that wedding I had to go to?"

   "The one in the islands?"

    "Yeah..."

   "Oh my God. Oh my freaking God. Is your name Stella now?" Danny's level of excitement began to get out of control as she threw question after question at Roddrick all the while punching her in the arm for holding back secrets.

     "Hey Danny..." A head peeped in on the two, calling attention to the fact they were no longer by themselves.

    "You will tell me about this later."

   "There's nothing to tell."

    "You're telling me! I will drag it out of you if I have to, I swear Roddrick." Danny wagged her finger as she walked to the man who held papers for her to look at, walking away and back into her business world.

    Roddrick sat in a nearby chair as her thoughts began to wonder to the man who had taken up residency in her mind. The last time she had seen Milo was the night she had waited on his table,

  When she found that his face, his voice-his everything invaded her mind while she was asleep, showering, or even working, she had rushed to find the discarded number that she had so carelessly forgotten about, only to come up with nothing. She didn't know what she would have done had she found it, and she was almost glad that she didn't because she would have been a stammering mess speaking to him. What would she have looked like? The woman who had been less than easy on him, almost turning their one night together into something that was all his fault, knowing good and well it took two to tango, calling him up out of the blue.

   He had given her the number for a reason, right?

    So, it wouldn't have been too odd if she did call him. Obviously he wanted to get to know her...

    Or maybe he just wanted to see if he could get her in bed again.

   Pushing her doubts back, Roddrick stood to her feet. She could hear the motherly voices of their clients coming in, cooing at their children.  Putting on her safety zone grin, she stepped out of the room. Her face was soon filled with an authentic smile as she looked at the round faces of babies with curly wefts of hair sticking up in each and every direction.

   Her heart began to beat harder against her chest as her mouth fell open in awe.

   "This is your photographer for today, Roddrick." She heard Danny introduce her to the small group of friends and their children. She saw Danny patting the diapered rear of one baby as he reached for strands of her hair. Roddrick was so enraptured that she didn't feel the tugging of her jacket at first as a little girl stretched out of her mother's arms towards her.

   "Oh my, looks like she likes you." Before Roddrick could react, the mother had already lifted her daughter into her arms that took the child out of instinct. Large brown eyes glistened up at Roddrick, making her breath catch in her throat.

   "No, Illiana. We don''t spit." Roddrick simply laughed as she brought one hand up to wipe away the raspberry the girl blew against her chin.

   "I'm sorry, she's learned something new."

   "Oh it's no problem at all. Let's go take some pictures of this pretty girl." Illiana clutched Roddrick's thumb as she began leading them to where they would be photographed. Roddrick had never been around too many children, and she always that she would be the worst person to trust with holding something so precious, but as she walked with Illiana on her hip she found a natural rhythm with the child.

   When she had to hand the girl back to her mother to get dressed, she felt a small pang of jealousy at the way she clung to her mother.

   "Aren't these little things so cute? God, I hope they don't cry today; they look like a good bunch." Danny came up behind Roddrick to find her eyeing all of the children with a sparkle in her eyes.

   "Hey, you're not thinking of stealing one of them are you?" She spoke low so as not to cause any chaos as she teased Roddrick.

   "Wh-What are you talking about?" She was finally broken from the spell at Danny's words.

   "Mhm. Anyways, let's get started. I can't believe I'm actually excited to work with a group of people who still shit themselves." Danny muttered as she walked past Roddrick.

   With her hands in her back pockets, Roddrick blew out a stream of air as she got ready for the shoot. She wasn't sure what was up with the sudden pull to the babies, it must have been their inherent cuteness that suckered most people in.

  Yeah, that was it.

Vvv

     Roddrick waved down her sister as she climbed off of a city bus, and came prancing towards the outdoor table she had grabbed for them both. Behind her was a tall and lean young man, being led by the hand as she made her way to her sister.

    "Wow, Chris. Look at you looking all grown and what not." Standing from her seat, she hugged the boy who now towered over her smaller frame. She could feel the firm muscles he had from years of football and nearly laughed out loud from the thought of the string bean he had once been.

   "Hey Roddrick. You're looking beautiful today."  He kissed her temple, out of friendliness as Roderica smiled beside them.

   "I hope you don't mind him coming. It was the one weekend I could catch him when he wasn't working out." She gleamed upwards to her boyfriend, standing to her tip toes as he leaned in for a chaste kiss.

   "You know I don't care." Roddrick began to take her seat before pausing in midair," I'm not paying for him though." She made sure to make it clear with a sideways smirk.

   "Dang, I thought we were family." He half groaned as he pulled out a seat for Roderica. Roddrick watched as the two young lovers sat so close together, she had to double check and make sure their seats didn't morph into one.

   " This family ain't paying for a big boy like you to just eat up half of the menu." Roddrick got the attention of a nearby waiter for the two arrivals to place their order. As they settled in, she listened like a good older sister as Roderica went on and on about her school life.

    " So, I stayed after class to ask him what his deal was. A ninety two on an essay when I was the only one who didn't copy and paste? Whatever, I bet you I got my A though..."

   "You are such an asshole."

   "I have to be for my grades. There's nothing wrong with fighting for what you deserve when you know you put in work." Roderica chewed on her straw as she shouldered a laughing Chris.

   "That's okay. I like my women smart; that lets me know that you're going to be making big money to take care of us later on."

   "Women? Take care of us? Oh no, I think you and I are going to have to discuss our future a little more." Clapping her hands together, she turned to Roddrick." Here's the deal. Chris is going to go to his number one school, play his ass off whilst getting a degree in business. Then while he is being drafted as the number one NFL pick after he graduates, I'll be off in med school doing my thing so that in four years tops, I'll be out and settling into my residency at UCLA."

    "That sounds great. So Chris, I'm guessing you plan to join a team here?" Roddrick could tell how adamant and sure Roderica was of her plan, and didn't want to throw a wrench in it just yet. The possibility of everything working the way she said it would was slim, but not impossible. She knew her sister, and if anything went on a deviant course, it would throw her off kilter.

    "Okay, so there are still some details we are waiting to workout..."Roderica admitted upon hearing the tone of Roddrick's voice." Don't kill my vibe." She smacked her teeth.

   "What happens happens. The way I look at it, I'm going to have me a med school girl on my arm to show off." Chris looped his arm behind her neck, drawing her in for a show of PDA.

    "I am eating here." Roddrick protested around her mouthful of salad. Roderica waved her off with a giggle she had never heard before.

   Her sister was in love-bad.

    It was a shame that she had to hide it from their mother.

    Roddrick had promised Roderica that she would keep her relationship under wraps the best way she could. She made her promise that she would keep her grades up where they should be so that Rockelle never had a reason to question what was going on. It seemed that secrets divided the house in half lately, and Roddrick knew that it was only asking for a big blow up anytime now.

   She felt that keeping her sister's relationship a secret to ensure her happiness was a small price to pay for their mother not knowing; as soon as she found out, she would nip it in the bud before their romance could get off the ground. In her eyes, she felt as if she was owed a lot more with the unspoken words of Clint lurking over her head. She had searched her mother's things high and low hoping to find evidence of their communication. Rockelle was insistent on checking the mail herself, waiting up for the mailman so that she could be the first to receive what awaited her.  It pained her to see the expectant and even excited way Rockelle would act with her letters from Clint.

   If she would stay closed lipped about what was really going on with the man who caused them to be uprooted halfway across the country, then Roddrick could stick to the big sister code for Roderica.

    When all three had reached the end of their meals, Roddrick held the desert menu in her hand, contemplating whether or not she wanted to go the extra step and indulge herself.

   "We should order Mama something to go." Roderica spoke up when the waiter had taken Roddrick's order.  Shifting her eyes to her little sister, Roddrick saw that if she didn't do as she suggested, then there would be hell to pay. It amazed her sometimes how Roderica could force her to do things even when she wanted to be childish and selfish.

   With a sigh, she asked for another order of what she had to go before the waiter made his exit.

   "You know you were wrong for that."

   "You got what you wanted Rodey." Raising her brows, she reached for her water.

   "Got what I wanted? It's only what most daughters would do for their moms. It's called being considerate."

   "Look Rodey, I'm not really interested in getting on this topic."

   "What topic? The fact that you two have been assholes to each other? What's the deal anyways, it's like this just came out of nowhere." Roderica pushed away from the table, sitting slumped in her chair."I don't like it Roddrick. Not one bit."

    Had she not seen the fallen expression on Roderica's face, she would have told her to stop whining, but looking at the hurt she was apparently feeling, Roddrick began to feel guilty.

   She looked down to her hands abashedly, and when her desert came, she ate it quietly.

   Chris twisted the cloth napkin in his hands awkwardly as the two sisters' moods changed instantly. Under the table, he reached for Roderica's hands which brought her out of her thoughts, and her attention to him with a weak smile.

    When their bill came, he took it before Roddrick could, and placed enough bills in it to cover everyone's food.

   "Chris, you don't need to-"

   "No worries. You were nice enough to let me come eat with you guys."

   Roderica stood to her feet, fixing her ponytail as Chris followed suit.

   "We were going to walk around afterwards. Do you think you can take this home to mama? If you can't, then we'll just stop by there first and-"

    "I'll take it. You two go on." Grabbing the paper handles of the bag, Roddrick folded it down into her lap.

   "Are you sure? Look, we can-"

   "Go, I'll take it I said." Roddrick shooed them away, with a reluctant Roderica watching her from the sidewalk. Before she was out of sight, she hurriedly waved to Roddrick, who gladly returned it.

    Her hands went to her face, rubbing at her temples as she began to stand up.  She knew that the time would come when she would have to be faced alone with her mother, so it might as well be now.

Vvv

      "...really beautiful now. You should see them. Some days I don't even believe it myself."

    Roddrick's feet slowed as she heard her mother's voice radiating throughout the house. It was a small enough place for it to carry fast, and as soon as the front door had closed, Rockelle had quickly shushed her voice.

   "I'll have to go now, maybe we will talk some other time. Okay." Rockelle's face was neutral the moment she turned around, but when Roddrick gave her a small smile, it softened.

  "I brought you lunch. It's just a salad but there's enough on it to fill you up." Moving to the kitchen counter, her eyes skated over to where the wireless house phone lied on the dining table.

   "Who were you talking to?" She tried to make her tone as light as possible, not wanting to sound accusatory so soon. Opening the container, she retrieved a fork for her mother, moving to sit across from her as she slid the food to her.

   "On the phone?"

   "Well, yes." Folding her arms beneath her breasts, she leaned against the edge of the table.

   "It was one of the ladies from the church." Roddrick's eyebrow rose as she listened to her mother. She knew that Rockelle had acquaintances, but for the life of her she couldn't remember her being close enough to someone to call them for idle chatter.

    "Really. Who was it?"

   "Mrs. Thompson. She was asking about my tomato plants." Right then, Roddrick knew that the conversation was meant to end as her mother began to eat.

   A few pregnant moments of silence passed as the two sat stiffly.

   "Mama, all you have to do is tell me. You know? I just...I don't know or understand what's going on here." Her voice was low as she toyed with the ends of her sleeves. She spoke carefully as Rockelle's eyes lifted dangerous.

   "What are you going on about Roddrick?"

   "If he's contacting you, I can see what I can do about that. Maybe there's a way to restrict phone calls. He even has our address-"

   "I've told you once, and I'm going to tell you again. Nothing is going on, Roddrick. I don't know what it is you're thinking, but you need to stop. That's the last time I'm going to tell you."

   "I'm sorry, but when the man who would beat both of our asses senseless starts talking to you after all of these years, I have reason to worry."

   "Enough Roddrick."

   "What? Are you trying to revive something with him? What is there even left? We had to run away from that devil for God's sake!"

   "I said enough!" Rockelle's voice was rough and biting as Roddrick withdrew from her. "I don't need you, my daughter, checking my every damn mood. You don't know half the story about anything, and I would appreciate it if you would stay in a child's place."

   "I'm not a child, mama."

   "As long as I breathe, you are. I don't want to hear about this anymore."

   "Is he threatening you? What is he saying? I swear to you, I'll make him stop; don't keep leading him on! "

   Rockelle stood quickly from her seat, so fast that Roddrick followed her afraid that she may have over thought her abilities as she wobbly reached for her walking cane.

   "Where are you going?"

   Rockelle made it across the house as quickly as she could, grabbing her sunhat from the stand near the front door before storming out, slamming it behind her. The sound made Roddrick jump as she stood with her hands on her waist.

  "Fuck." Throwing a punch into the back of a reclining chair Roddrick began to gather her camera bag, throwing it across her body before she raced down the front steps and to her bike. Only for a quick glance did she look back at her mother. Rockelle had her back turned as Roddrick rode away from the house. When she was sure she was gone, her chin dropped to her chest as she covered her mouth with one gloved hand as she held back a sob.

   Her body shook as she was ridden with the guilt and shame from her lies she told, and secrets she kept.

   She never wanted her daughters to know that she and Clint had recently reconnected. She didn't know how to explain that the same man she had foolishly stood beside and even loved for some sick reason was let back into her life. Rockelle wasn't sure how he got her address, or who would have given it to him.

   The first letter she had gotten from him had scared her, wondering if they would have to move if he was somehow watching them all of this time.

   When she read that he was dying from terminal cancer, she had regressed into the woman who loved him, his wife, and couldn't bring herself to ignore his begging for forgiveness splayed across each page.