Positive.

My hand trembled as I glared at the stick. It couldn't be. Maybe this was just a mistake, I thought. I quickly discarded the stick into the trashcan and frantically grabbed the box. Shaking it, my heart slammed into my chest. My eyes drew back to the trashcan, where all seven of the pregnancy tests had been discarded. The tears that I had been desperately trying to hold back made their way quickly and quietly down my cheeks. My foot itched to kick the bin.

They were all fucking wrong. It just couldn't be... what would he think?

My eyes made their way up to the mirror. I stared back at the person looking at me. She was beautiful. She was a stripper. She had just ruined her fucking life.

__________________________________________________________________________

Four Days Later

"Please..." My head had been buried in my blankets for the past two days. It felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I trusted him and opened up to him, but he just let me down. How could he? With each thought of her the tears that had been falling had doubled and wet my sheets anymore. I did not want to see him. Period. Did he not get that? I had refused to open the door and still he had not left. And even if he did, he always came back. Reminding of the voice I wanted to hate, and the man that I thought was mines.

"Go away." I managed to croak. My voice had been become hoarse. The screaming sessions that I did manage to have resulted in me being physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

"Please Camille, you need to eat... just let me in." My back had been facing the door, but when I heard the door jiggle and shake my body became alert. I turned around slowly, readjusting the covers as I buried my face further into the darkness. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"I told you I was sorry sweetheart," That's not enough dumb ass. "But I know that will not help it... we are not together anymore. Please, believe me." I do believe you. I wasn't going to leave you. I promise. You should just have told me.

"I only care about you. Not her. We haven't been living together for a year now... I just had to get away. You were there Camille... just please." With each word that he spoke, I had managed to make my way off the bed. Dragging the covers with me, I wobbled towards the door. The more he begged, the more I wanted him to hold me, and reassure that I was the only one. But he lied. My conscious whispered to me. He told you he would never hurt you and he lied. I slid down the door into a heap and listened to his breathing on the other side. He doesn't deserve you.

"Say something baby." I shook my head, as if he could see me. My voice had disappeared within the past two days. Upon hearing his, I doubted it wanted to come back. I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting. He did not belong here with me. He belonged at home, with his wife-and his son. He was a senior banker. One down on his luck. Saw me at the strip club and needed a good fuck. Yea, that's what I was. A good fuck. One that he couldn't stay away from.

____________________________________________________________________________

Four Months Earlier

"Night John! Same time, same place tomorrow!" I stepped out of the club into the cold February air. It was three o'clock in the morning and my shift had just ended. Thank God.

"Camille, you sure you don't want me to walk you to your car?" My head turned at the sound of John's deep throaty voice. "I'm positive! I'm covered." I winked at him and motioned towards my inner thigh. I always kept my pocket knife strapped there entering and leaving work.

I watched him nod his head, but still not take his eyes off of me. John was like the big brother us strippers had never had growing up. They touched us the wrong way. Dead. Breathed on us the wrong way. Dead. Or even glance at us the wrong way. Dead. That was John's motto he instilled upon me and the other strippers upon meeting him for the first time. I always laughed at the last thing. We worked as strippers surrounded by middle aged men who had nothing better to do after work than grope us. So of course they were going to glance at us the wrong way.

Tonight, I had been the first to perform. Which was always a good thing. It meant that I could perform, collect my dues, make my rounds for any special requests, and leave as early as possible. The owner, Tico, although not a softy, knew that unlike the other women I worked with, I had no plans on staying there until my body had transformed into a massive blob of wrinkles. I just needed to make enough to pay off the few loans that I took out for school and that was it. I would be done. Patting the pocket sew into the underside of my jacket, I smiled a little. Tico told me I had done a good job tonight. Even performed two private shows. Tonight's wages would cover my rent plus a shopping spree that had been long over-due. My grades, although not stellar, had kept my academic performance at a 3.1 GPA. To say I was ecstatic would have been an understatement. If I was not working, I was studying. I refused to live the life my mother had once lived.

My car was parked about forty feet down the street and behind a warehouse building that Tico owned but never put to use. The buildings on the long block were too close together to have any form of parking within a good proximity to the club so they demanded that we, including the strippers, park that far away. The one good thing I had to give to Tico though, was that he did not require we pay for parking. Glancing around, I noticed the silence all too well. I had been working at Tangerine Paradise for seven months and still I had not become accustomed to the calm, silent nights. This particular night had my lips chapped and teeth chattering as I shuffled towards the car. Every night like this always made me paranoid. My hand reached into my purse to first grip the two bottles of mace I had bought when I first began working here-because one just was not enough-and then proceeded to search for my keys.

In my haste to always get out of the musky air of the club I never organized my things. Just threw what I saw was mine into my duffle bag and purse and walked out. I groaned when my fingers did not meet the cool metal of my keys, but instead a Bible verse pamphlet one of the clients had dared to give to me. I was ten feet away. Just had to find my fucking keys.

Glancing up again, I took in my surroundings. The street lights were loud and clear. The prostitutes, who had dared to come out in this frisky air, were brave, very brave. I shook my head as one called me over. She was thin, rail thin, with shaggy brown hair. Her eyes were glazed over and her lips were chapped and bleeding. I looked over her body and saw that her mid-driff was showing. Did she not have a jacket? Every night that I worked I saw her. And she always called me over and my answer was always the same. But tonight, as I looked at her standing up under that street light, she seemed different. As if the coldness was too harsh for her, and life was enough.

"Camille! You hear me calling you-st-" I had kept walking, but stopped when her body became consumed by consistent coughs. My shoulders lifted and I sighed, hard. I was always the fucking Good Samaritan.

Looking both ways, I crossed the street and made my way to her. What was freaking wrong with her standing in this cold at this time of morning with no freaking clothes on? I grumbled as I made my way towards her frail body. She looked sick. Sicker than she was when I saw her last week. I slowly shook my head.

"Janet," I said, grabbing her arm and bringing her body upright. "Have you been taking that medicine I gave you?" I stared into her cold gray eyes. She looked like she had been on the bottle all night. I groaned and gently tugged on her. She had yet to look me steady in the eyes. Her eyes kept glancing towards the road, possibly scouting a customer.

"Janet, look at me. Answer me please. Its fucking cold out here-where is your fucking jacket?" Her head snapped towards me then and her lips began to tremble. They moved at a pace that only God could understand and I sighed again.

"I h-h-had to-you kn-kn-kn-know not to g-give me that Cam-Camille. I just h-had t-to. The j-j-jacket-they t-took-"  I watched her mumble more and struggle to tell me what happened to the medicine and jacket that I had given to her before.

"Slow down. And speak up." She was thirty-two years old. Was once married. She lived the suburban life with a picket fence, two story house, and one and a half children. Her husband and first child died in a house fire that was caused by an electric shock. After that her life spiraled down-hill. That's when her drinking begin. When her second child was born and they took it away, that's when the drugs begin. At least that is what John told me.

"What about the medicine Janet? Why haven't you been taking it? You're so fucking cold." My mind scrambled on what to do next. I knew somewhere inside my duffel bag I had an extra jacket and no medicine. But I did not want to leave her here sick and looking like a lost puppy dog.

"I had to-I was feigning for it-I j-just h-had to..." Her eyes refused to meet mine as realization sunk in. She sold the medicine for a fix. My hand immediately grabbed her arm and twisted it so I could look at the underside of her elbow. The marks were still there. Not as fresh, but still there. There were at least five of them on that arm, with all of them looking like somebody had stabbed her in the arm and left the wounds unattended.

"Jesus Janet, fucking really? I'm trying to help you. You clearly must not want my help. You're taking my shit and doing God knows what with-"

"Please Ca-Camille. I am s-sorry." Her large gray eyes looked up at me, pleading. I stomped my numb foot and let go of her arm.

"Don't leave me, pl-please." She was slightly taller than me. But due to the wind howling, her body was bent, clutching her torso. The jeans that she had on were ripped at the sides, and the big toe of her left foot was sticking out of the top of the sneakers.

My eyes rolled to the sky. Lord, please give me the strength. My eyes looked back at the vacant roads and I glanced at my wrist watch. It was now four. I had just enough time to get home, get dressed, take a nap, and make it to Gandma's before the early morning service started.

"Come on." I said abruptly. Turning, I left her to stand there, or either follow me. The chattering of her lips reaching my ears told me that she was following me. Good girl. Making it to my hoopty, I quickly opened up the passenger side of the door and made sure she got in.

"Hold on," I said, noticing her reaching for the handle to close the door. I grabbed my duffle bag and placed it on top of the car. My fingers dug until they came in contact with what I wanted to find. Grabbing the garment, I let out a smile. "Ah-hah!"

"Camille, its fu-fucking co-cold. Please..."

"Hold on, Janet. You shouldn't be out here in the first place. They could arrest you. Does that ever cross your mind?" Her silence was golden. I did not see her nod her head, but instead bow it in knowing, and in shame.

"This is the last fucking time Janet." I mumbled. Almost instantly, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck begin to raise. My eyes raised to sweep the parking lot. There didn't seem to be anybody there, but knowing this place, and at this time, anybody could be there.

"Here." I bent down and made her lift up her frail arms. It seemed as if she hadn't ate in days.

"Grandma will feed you good." I mumbled to her. I saw the light in her eyes return at the mention of my grandma.

"We're going to Grandma's house?" Her lips bled a little as she managed to turn her frown into a full blown out smile. She loved my grandma.

"Yes ma'm. Now hurry up, so we can get out of here." She shimmied the sweater on and put on her seat belt. Content, I closed the door, grabbed my duffle bag and made my way towards the driver side.

"Fuuuuck," I groaned. The fuck my keys at? I shook my purse around to see if they jingled. Yes. I heard them. Cling-cling-dink. I looked up again to see if any creepster was watching, and hurriedly dug my hand through my purse. Grabbing them, I motioned for Janet to unlock the door. For some reason I was unable to shake the feeling that I was being watched. I did not want to make Janet alert, nor did I want anything to happen to me, better yet her. As soon as her fingers touched the handle, I felt something barely touch the calf of my right leg. I brushed it off as a bug and proceeded to open the door.

"That was nice of you." My hand flew to my heart, while the other gripped my purse. The deep, smooth voice came out of nowhere. I stilled my hand and watched as Janet motioned for me to come on. Hold on, I mouthed to her. Putting a smile on my face, I turned to the object of the paranoia consuming my thoughts.

"Yes it was. Thank-" My voice stopped as I saw who it was. Throughout the week that I had been running errands, one face had seemed to pop up out of nowhere. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but when I saw him for the fourth day I ruled that out of my mind. My mind perused the man, his face, his body. He was at least six feet, if not taller. His body adorned a black suit with a tie that look like it had been undone too much and hung loosely on his neck. The buttons of his winter coat were undone, and the cuffs rolled back. I watched as his adam's apple bobbed. Was he not cold? My eyes made their way up to the angular jaw of his, the slightly full lips, the straight nose, and finally his eyes.

They were blue, and staring at me like they had been doing all week. I was just too caught up to notice. But this face, yes. Now that I thought about it yes, this was him. His eyes were casually looking at me, assessing me just as mines were assessing his.

"Have you been stalking me?" The words left my mouth before I had a chance to think about what I was going to say. I looked at his mouth twitch, and then form into a smirk. Before answering me, his hands moved through his short cropped brown hair. His eyes shifted when I took a step towards him. He didn't have to answer. This fucker had been stalking me.

"Not really," He began. His strong voice showed no hint of the coldness that was making me shiver. When his eyes turned back to me, he drew his thick brows together and looked at me again.

"Oh we just seemed to be at the same place, at the same time, every fucking d-day of the week." He smiled again then and shook his head.

"Do you remember last weekend?" He stood a foot away, and I could feel some of his body heat make its way towards me. I watched as he slowly stretched out his foot and smashed the orange lit cigarette on the ground.

"I just wanted your attention." He nodded towards the cigarette. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and raised an eyebrow. My hand moved to wrap around the mace that was inside my purse. Better not try no slick shit.

"I requested some time with you. You declined... I just wanted to know why." I shook my head, trying to remember last weekend. My eyes stayed steady on him, while my mind racked up memories of last weekend. John had come to request me, saying that someone official requested me. Being as tired as I was, I was not in the mood. I had to get home to my grandma.

"You were the man watching me weren't you?" Yep, those blue eyes were familiar. They sat in the middle of the club at a lone round table. I usually did not peruse the crowd when I danced. Instead, I chose to keep my eyes on a particular object behind people's heads. The exit sign. Every once in a while, I would make eye contact and smile. And he just happened to be one that I kept my eyes on the longest. Something about those blue eyes, they looked haunted, dangerous.

"I believe you could say that was me. I just wanted to talk... you seemed to have intrigued me."

I scoffed, and in that moment Janet popped her head out of the car and peered back.

"You okay?" Her voice was hoarse and she eyed the man wearily. Without taking my eyes off of her, I nodded.

"Yes. I will be ready in a second. Get back in the car."

His eyes did not move from mine as I took a step toward my car.

"The stripper intrigued you huh?" He smiled again, turned his head away, and nodded. I noticed the color of his cheeks turning red. Was he blushing?

"Or maybe she just intrigued you enough to fuck hm?" His head snapped back to my face and he opened his mouth to speak. "No-"

"No, it is okay. What is your name?" I took another step, this one he noticed. I was ready to go if he could not get the memo.

"Caleb." I nodded, and glimpsed down momentarily. Reality sinking in that he had been stalking me.

"Caleb, I take it you know where I live?" My voice begin to shake, not only from the cold, but also at the way he was looking at me. He nodded, his blue eyes staring daggers at me.

Grabbing the door handle, I proceeded to open it. All the while keeping my eyes on him.

"Since you know where I live, can you please not make it a fucking habit to stalk me? Fucking creepy, I can have you arrested," His hands shot up in surrender and he took a step back.

"First Camille, I am not creepy. I just wanted to talk."

"Okay so you think standing out here at four o clock in the morning waiting for me is not creepy?" His lips formed into a frown.

"I came here to offer you-"

"Not accepting any offer." I glanced at my watch. Five fifteen.

"Will you listen-"

I grabbed my duffel bag, threw it in and the keys at Janet.

"Crank up the car and turn on the heat." Turning back towards Caleb, I saw him stick his hands into his coat pocket and glare at me.

"I'm sorry. Maybe when I am on the clock and not sleep deprived will you and I have this conversation. Until then, do not fucking stalk me or the police will be called." With that, I got into my car, slammed and locked the door.

"Who was that?" I heard Janet asked. I shrugged my shoulders and looked back out the window. He was gone.

"I do not know." I mumbled as I backed out the car. How did he know my name?

_________________________________________________________________________ 

Present Day

"I intrigued you?" I spoke. I knew he was leaning up against the door. I just needed reassurance.

"Yes baby you did... that's why I followed you. You were the only one there who seemed like you didn't belong there. You seemed like you belonged with me. Away from there, with those men touching you, staring at you... Baby?" I could not stop myself from crying, because I knew he was speaking the truth. The first time I looked into his eyes something told me that I would not be able to get rid of him.

"It hurts Caleb... why does it hurt so much? You hurt me-y-you promised," I cried. He beat slightly against the door and I managed to jump a little.

"I know Camille, I know. I did not want you to leave..." Too late.

"Seven months Caleb." I stated. He had hid his wife and son from me for seven months. Seven months.

"I should have known..." I whispered while backing away from the door.

"Baby?"

"I should have known Caleb. I'm not stay-" I threw off the covers and reached for the door. I did not care how I looked in that second nor did I care. Stop crying girl, its okay. My hands reached up to wipe away the tears from my eyes, but they kept coming. Come on girl, you can do this. Face him.

"No, Camille. No. Open the fucking door."  

"Caleb, I can't stay with y-" In that second I heard a thump against the door and I jumped. Then another bang.

"Caleb what are you doing?" I yelled. I truly became terrified in that moment.

"Baby just please open the door, let me hold you. I'm sorry." He said breathlessly.

Bang.

"STOP!" I yelled. My heart was beating too fast in my chest and my nerves were rattled.

He was silent on the other end, but I could hear his heavy breathing. "Please," He whispered. I closed my eyes and let another tear escape. No.

"Yes, just please, stop." I pleaded. His silence was the answer. I stepped slowly to the door and consciously ran my fingers through my hair. Touching the door handle, I unlocked it then slowly turned the knob.

Before I could even blink I felt the woosh of the door as it flew open. I stumbled back but before I could fall his arms wrapped around my waist and brought my body against his.

"No." I mumbled in his shirt. I felt his lips kissing my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, and then slowly make their way towards my lips. I turned my head and pushed at his body but he did not budge.

"Fuck no, Caleb move. Get off me!" I struggled then, beating against his broad chest but the more I fought the more I struggled. He did not bother to stop me, but instead shower me with affection. His scent consumed my senses and soon, my fighting had stopped. Before, I thought the tears to stop, but now they were back at a full force. I had yet to look up at him but knew he was looking down on me. He cradled my head to his chest with one hand while his other rubbed my back.

"Baby, listen, please." I shook my head and allowed myself to open up completely to him, this time emotionally.

"No," I shook my head. "Let me fucking go."

"Never... please," I could feel the warmth of his lips on my scalp as he kissed me again. I grabbed his wrists and struggled to break them free from his body.

"I can't think straight. Please, I won't leave you. Just please. Let me breathe Caleb." I whispered into his shirt but I knew he heard me. It was now wet. But he seemed to not care. Instead, his fingers found a way from my body and to my face. I made the mistake and looked up into his eyes. There, I saw an emotion I had never saw in him before. Fear.

They were dark, as if a storm had been brewing in his eyes for the last hour. It was nothing compared to the storm that had been brewing in my heart.

"You promise?" I shook my head and backed away slowly. The hand that was gripping my waist eased and I grabbed it, squeezed it, then released it. I saw his lips form into a hard line and then him bat his eye lashes. Had he been crying?

When I felt I was a good enough distant away, I lowered my head and wiped still at my drying eyes. I feared him in that moment, but at the same time I knew I had to get away. I had to leave.

"You're thinking too much." His gruff voice whispered. I still stood there with my arms by my side. I still did not want to speak, for I knew he was not going to listen. He was blocking the door, and from his stance-legs apart, body slightly bent forward, hands by his side, clenching and unclenching-I knew that he was not going to let me past that door. Especially if it included me walking out without him.

"Talk to me." I heard the floor creak and my hand immediately went up to stop him.

"Don't come near me. Just listen." I raised my head and looked into his eyes. His nose was flaring. I knew what that meant, he was assuming the worst. He knew what was about to happen. But knowing him, he was not going to let it happen. It was always his way.

"Will you listen?" His eyes looked wild in that moment, but he rendered in the monster that threatened to break free. He nodded and I exhaled as if I had been holding my breath all night. I motioned towards the bed, wanting him to sit, but he only stood there. His eyes never leaving my frame.

"Caleb please, can you just sit? You're scaring me." I watched him relax at my admission.

"Only if you let me hold you. Only if you let me explain." I nodded my head.

He was in front of me in two seconds. His hands gripped my body before I could protest. I allowed him to pick me up and walk us slowly towards the bed. My head found its spot beneath his chin and above his collar bone. Right in the crook of his neck. This was natural. We were natural. Until that moment she picked up the phone. Remember, he belongs with her. They're a family Camille. I shook away the thoughts and let him slide his arms under my thighs and bring my body closer to his body. I kissed his neck and felt his body relax. Fatten up the pig before you slaughter it.

"I was going to stay Caleb." But you're not now, my conscious taunted me.

I felt the muscle in his arm flex, but he still remained quiet.

"You have a son Caleb." I felt him nod, his chin grazing the top of my head. Good Caleb. Let me speak. Let me reason.

"Your son belongs with you. Your wife-" I felt his grip tighten around my body and looked up at his face. He was staring at the wall across from me. His eyes were hard, and I could tell he was contemplating. No baby, don't think. Just listen to me.

My hand moved and I began stroking his arm. His eyes made their way towards mine and I smiled a little. That's right.

"You have a family Caleb. Your son needs for you to have a family." I had been battling this thought all week but it was true. I was not going to take away his son's happiness just because his father wanted to be selfish with me. I should not have even been factored into the equation.

I heard him grunt and I continued. But before I continued I begin to move. His grip tightened and I sighed. "I am not trying to leave, I just want to sit up." He moved his arms and I moved to straddle his lap. We were face to face now. I wanted him to be collected when I told him my plans. I had been thinking of this all week. It was for the best. His wife would win, his son would win. But he would lose. Why must you hurt him Camille?

I hands made their way up his chest, and finally rested on the sides of his face. He closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against my palm.  I felt a little scruffle beneath my finger tips and saw the bags beneath his eyes.

"You haven't been sleeping have you?"

"No." His eyes remained closed. "I needed to watch you, make sure you were alright. I thought you were going to leave me." His honesty blew a bulb in my chest and my breath caught in my throat. If only he knew how close to the truth he was. I sighed and shook my head.

"Go to sleep." I motioned for him to lay down but he opened his eyes and shook his head.

"No, talk Camille. I want to know what has been going on in your head. I haven't seen you in four fucking days," I moved to get off of him but he hand came underway and grabbed my upper thigh. I stilled.

"Talk." He demanded. I stared into his eyes and they stared back at me. Reminded me of the first time him and I met each other. He looked at a lost and dangerous.

Instead of talking, I leaned towards him and allowed his head to rest against my chest. He tucked me in tighter and I did not protest. I sighed and then began talking.

"Caleb, your wife needs you," I whispered into his hair, the soft hair that I loved playing with. I felt his eye lashes blink against my collar bone. "Your son needs you. I need you, but-" He gripped me harder then. The arm that held me hostage was pressed against my back.

"No buts Camille. Do you need me, honestly?" I felt the wetness and knew he was crying. God, why did he have to love me and I him?

"Yes I do Caleb."

"Then there are no buts in this relationship. There are no buts in us Camille. If you want us like I want us, you will fight Camille, damnit-"

"I was fighting. But you hurt me Caleb, God you hurt me. I can't be with you and you hurt me." He tried to move his head back to look at me but I would not allow him. I did not want to see the pain in his eyes.

"I need you Camille." He stated. I nodded my head. I know.

"I am sorry Camille." I know.

"I love you." I know. I felt his breath tingle on my neck and I silently begin to cry.

"Why Caleb why? You had me. Just why?" I had lain my head on top of his now. Praying that this week and these emotions would erase from my memory.

"I was being selfish Camille. You are so perfect for me. So perfect..." I was lost in his words. So lost that I did not feel when he drug me out of my position and kissed my lips softly. I hesitated, but when he called me perfect, I leaned in and kissed him again. This time, I allowed his lips to linger a little longer and his tongue to slide along my bottom lip. You have to go now Camille.

"I love you." I breathed against his cheek.

"You keep me warm. I've been so cold." I shuddered, the cries making their way up my throat again. His arms loosened around my body and I took that as a chance to move.

"I love you Caleb." I whispered as I broke free of his hold. His eyes followed me as I backed towards the door.

"Camille." His eyes had turned dark blue and I watched. My feet walking backwards towards the door.

"Please, you keep me warm..." 1...

I shook my head. Holding my stomach, my eyes blurred. His eyes watched my hand movements as I felt for the door knob. 2...

"We might need you," I choked. "But they need you more." I watched as realization sunk in and he made to move. 3...

But before he could I turned to leave. Go.

 My feet thumped against the floor and fear settled into the pits of my chest. It is for the best.

"Camille!" I heard him yell. But I was already making my way outside, blinded by my own tears.