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Time For a Change

Chapter 6                        Hesitation

Can you believe how quickly the time has passed?  Already a year and a half has flown by and my career is blossoming once again.  With my practice now firmly established and my therapy now reduced to once every other month I can feel a difference in myself.  More confidence, more fierceness but also more awareness of what I want out of life.  Still not ready to venture into the world of romance but I am getting closer to that every day.  One may ask why does a beautiful successful woman feel that she needs a man in her life.  You can make it on your own.  Of course I can make it on my own but this beautiful successful woman wants someone with whom to share this success.  Someone who sees me as their one and only as I will see them as my one and only.  Someone who cheers me on as I will cheer him own.  Someone with whom I can share all of this love that I have to give.  I don’t speak for anyone but myself.  I want someone in my life.  I may not need them but I certainly want someone.  I want an extreme love.  A love that takes my breath away when I see him.  A love that moves and shakes me.  A love that fills me with wonder.  A love that makes me glow inside and outside.

Simply because I have not made myself available for any romance does not mean that I have not had offers.  Several very nice men have asked for my time but I don’t want anyone to have any confusion about my interest.  At this time in my life I am not interested in any romantic entanglements so I keep my distance.  I still have that little tingle that ‘pings’ ever so often that keeps me in check.  If I didn’t know any better I would think that it ‘pings’ when some man gets a bit too close to making me change my mind about getting involved with someone now.  Usually it ‘hums’ in the background but other times it makes its presence known.  I just take it as my subconscious keeping me out of trouble. ‘Distance, space, time, minds, back in life’, echoes in my mind and keeps me alert to continue to work on me and not distract myself.  For once my subconscious and I agree on something.  BUT I can’t stay single forever if I want that life of marriage and children I will have to open up my heart again to someone.

This current case will require much more of my time.  I have a private investigator now searching for witnesses to aid my client’s defense.  He may need to contact the FBI because some of the information that he has collected may require their involvement.  It doesn’t matter as long as my client gets the best defense possible.  All of this excites me to no end.  My colleagues and I have a great working relationship and they have nothing but good things to say about their great fortune in convincing me to join their team.  Our clientele has grown and our revenues have increased.  

Six months from now I will reevaluate my plan of action for having a love life to add to my professional success.  I pray God’s guidance and for patience on my part not to hurry anything.  I’m looking for a forever relationship not a temporary one.