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Time For a Change

Chapter 8  The Meet and Greet

‘All right no more excuses Evangeline.  It’s time for you to get back out into the world. I know that but I want to take it slowly.  The last time that I just ‘went with the flow’ it ended disastrously.  My heart can’t take another blow like that.’  No more talking to myself just do it.There’s a meet and greet at the courthouse after hours.  One of the lead judges decided that the law enforcement personnel needed to get to know each other in order to make for a better working relationship so they invited local attorneys, law enforcement officers from the local, state and federal levels, district attorneys and judges to meet and greet and perhaps find common ground to better serve the public. We all want to see justice done so no harm, no foul.

I arrive shortly after the scheduled start.  One of my clients had an emergency hearing and I had to meet with the judge after the hearing to sign some paperwork.  We both planned to attend the meet and greet so we arrived together.  Wanting something to drink I walk over to the refreshment table.  They have an assortment of drinks, non-alcoholic of course, and assorted canapés.  I help myself to some water and walk around the room greeting people as I make my way over to one of my favorite judges.  We talk for a while and then the police chief interrupts us to introduce a new addition to our legal community.  Before I turn around I notice a tug of my subconscious, that little hum that vibrates in the background, ‘Love, time, back in your life’.  The police chief introduces the new chief of detectives.  I’ve never met this man before so I’m puzzled as to why the hum started now.  We exchange pleasantries and I then walk away towards the side of the room to get a breather when the hum starts again.  I look around the room and don’t see anyone new to me and so I ignore it.

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My friend from the FBI, Robert Evans, invited me to visit him.  I appreciated it because I really need a break from Llanview.  I’m trying to find the best strategy to use to get Evangeline to even talk to me. I don’t want to be too forceful but I do want her to know that I am serious about us being together. Just so happen my friend lives in the town where Evangeline is now located.  I take some vacation time and travel there. The day after I arrive he tells me that he has a meeting at the courthouse after hours and that I should join him.  I hesitate because I’m really not in the mood to be around a lot of people right now but then I remember that Dr. Crosby suggested that I expand my horizons and not stay so secluded.  Open myself up and get out of my comfort zone.  So I agree to accompany him.  We arrive a little late but the place is packed. Robert and I walk around the room and he introduces me to a lot of people.  Curiously enough when he introduces me to the people all of their titles suggest that they are in law enforcement.  Then I feel it, that tug, ‘want you forever, I love you’. I look around the room and don’t see anyone that I know so I ignore it.  I go to get something to drink and leave Robert with one of the judges. I then make my way over to the side of the room and stand and observe.

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After an hour of so I decide it’s time for me to leave.  I’ve had a long day.  Just as I make it to the exit door the hum starts again louder than ever and I look around the room again and still I don’t see anyone out of place.  What is this?  I stop to say good night to one of my favorite judges and push the door to exit the room.  The door bumps into this man and knocks him to the floor.

“Oh my goodness!  I am so sorry. Are you all right?”  I lean down to help the man from the floor.  I can’t see his face but I do grab his hand to offer him some support to stand.

“Yes I’m all right, thank you.” I say as I grab her hand and stand and then I see her face.

“Evangeline?”

“John?”

“What are you doing here John?”

“I’m here with one of my old FBI buddies.  It’s good to see you.”

“I have to go. Good bye.”

“Evangeline, please don’t go.  Can we talk?  Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Any other time I would respond with ‘talk about what’ but I won’t do that.  I won’t be rude.  Okay John let’s go somewhere and talk.  I’m not certain how much good it will do but since you want to talk I will listen.”

“Thank you. Let me just let my friend know that I am leaving.  Will you wait for me here?”

“Yes John, I will wait here.”

He leaves to go into the room to find his friend and I am so tempted to leave but I won’t do that.  The old Evangeline would have left him just like he left me so many times but I am not that person.  I have grown confident in myself and can handle anything that John McBain can dish out.  There it is again, that hum, ‘love, in your life’.  Why now.  This can’t have anything to do with John, can it?  Oh here he is now.

“John there’s an all night coffee house around the corner from here we can go there and talk.”

“Okay that sounds good.  After you.”

We walk to the coffee house, give our orders and take our coffee to a table and sit.

“So what do you want to talk about John?”

“I want to talk about us Evangeline?

“There is no us John, so what do you really want to talk about?”

“Just like I said, I want to talk about us.  I want there to be an us Evangeline.  I want a life with you.  Let me tell you what has happened with me since you left Llanview.”

I tell her everything.  I tell her about the day that I learned that she had left town.  I tell her about my vow to find her.  I tell her about my therapy with Dr. Crosby. I tell her that I love her. I tell her everything.  All during my exposition I look at her hoping to see any indication as to what she is thinking and feeling.  But that would have been too easy.  She has on her lawyer face and gives me no hints. She is shielding herself from me and it hurt but I had anticipated it.  I knew that it would not be easy to convince her to give me another chance but I will not be deterred.

“John I’m glad that you finally agreed to the therapy and stuck with it.  Good for you but I don’t see how this has anything to do with me.  You say now that you love me but isn’t that a little bit too late.  I do admit that it feels good to hear but I don’t see that it makes much difference now.  But I will say this John.  I too had unresolved issues that held me back from having a healthy relationship with anyone so I will give you that our problems were not all your fault. At this time in my life I’m not looking for a date partner, I’m looking for a life partner.  Marriage is the only option for me.  Crazy huh to hear me say that, ‘Ms. I will never get married’.  But things have changed for me too John.  If you came here to resume a relationship with me then I have to tell you that it is not possible.  You once held the key to my heart but you rejected my love and I can’t trust you again with my heart.  How do I know that the same thing won’t happen again?”

“Evangeline I’m not the same.  I have changed.  I will do whatever you want me to do.  Just tell me what I need to do to be in your life again.  And just so you know, I too want a life partner. Marriage is the only option for me too.  And marriage to you is the only thing that I want.”

“Your words are sweet John but so many times your actions were not.  I don’t think that I can risk being with you again. As the saying goes, ‘once bitten, twice shy’.  Why should I try again with you?  What will be different this time?”

“We are different Evangeline.  You said yourself that you have changed, that you too had unresolved issues that would have prevented us from having a sustained relationship. We both know that I had major issues that kept us from succeeding.  But we are both better now.  Let’s step out on faith and see how great we can be together.  If I know that there’s a chance for us I will stick with you forever.  Do you remember saying that Evangeline.  I do remember it and I ask you now to give us a chance and I will stick with you forever.  I want you I want all of you, forever, every day.  You and me, every day, I LOVE YOU.”

John feels the tug but more pronounced now.  It’s as if it’s pounding in his chest near his heart. He waits patiently for her response.  He knows that whatever she says now will seal his fate.

Evangeline stands and looks at John and thinks hard about what she will say in response and then she feels that hum again but it is louder in her ears now as if it is singing to her.  She stills herself to make out the words, ‘Sometimes you have to LOVE people from a DISTANCE and give them the SPACE and TIME to get their MINDS right before you let them back into your LIFE.’  Has this been in me all of this time.  Do I love John? In spite of everything that has happened between us does he still hold my heart?  Is that why I have not had any interest in looking for a life partner?  Was my heart waiting for John to return?  I stop, close my eyes, breathe deeply and whisper a prayer for guidance. Should I let John back in my life? Is that what my subconscious is telling me?

“We can’t go back John.  All that is behind us is hurt and pain.”

I’m looking at him as I say this and I can see the hurt in his eyes. He looks crushed.  I smile and say,

“We can however go forward.  Hello my name is Evangeline Williamson and you are?”

John looks at me with surprise in his eyes and then recognition.  He understands now that I have not rejected him but have given us an opportunity to start afresh. He too smiles and responds,

“My name is John McBain and it is a pleasure to meet you Ms. Williamson.  It may sound cliché and a bit forward of me but I will ask, what are you doing with the rest of your life and may I be a part of it.”

“I can not really give you an answer to that right now Mr. McBain but let’s say we take it one day and a time and see how it goes.  I must warn you though I have no time for games.  I am serious about having a long-term relationship and no sex before marriage.  I don’t do casual anymore.  I take my job and my love life seriously and I expect anyone who’s involved with me to understand that.  If they can’t then we are doomed to fail and I have no time for that. Life is too short to spend my wheels with someone who doesn’t intend to work hard to make our relationship work and make me a priority in their life.  Can you handle that Mr. McBain?”

“Whatever I have to do Ms. Williamson I will do to make you happy.  I agree with you that life is too short and I want a life long relationship with you.  I have no problem with the no sex before marriage rule.  That suits me just fine.  You will be my #1 priority and no one will come before you. No one.”

“That’s good to hear Mr. McBain but how will we make this long distance relationship work. I will not return to Llanview under any circumstances so how do you propose we handle this?

“I’m glad that you ask Evangeline.  Although I do plan to ‘propose’ to you very soon, that proposal will wait until you let me know that you are ready.  As to how do I propose to handle a long distance relationship with you I don’t think that that will be a problem.  My friend Robert Evans works at the FBI district office here in town and my trip here is two fold.  I needed time away from Llanview and I knew that you were here. Before you get in a tizzy let me explain.  Some time ago your private investigator contacted the FBI office here with some information. Agent Evans contacted me in Llanview to get information on you.  I assured him that you were the best attorney I had ever seen and that satisfied him.  Until he called I didn’t know where you were but I had all intentions of finding you after I finished with my therapy.  I didn’t want to look for you until I had resolved my issues that kept us apart.  Crazy as it may sound Robert invited me to visit him and I jumped at the opportunity.  I knew that he lived in the same town as you so it was a no brainer to come and visit him.  I still had not figured out how to approach you and then he told me about this meeting.  He didn’t know who was invited and I didn’t know what kind of meeting it was until he started introducing me to people and I noticed that they all worked in law enforcement.  Do you want to hear something even crazier, for the last year or so I have had this tug on my subconscious that keeps reminding me of my love for you. At first I didn’t know what it was so I just left it alone but tonight it tugged hard at my chest until I saw you and then it receded into the background.  I know, it sounds crazy doesn’t it.  Maybe I need to call Dr. Crosby now and have him commit me to the psych ward.”

“No John it doesn’t sound crazy and if you need to go to the psych ward then I need to go also because I have had a similar experience.  Mine was more like a hum.  A hum telling me to love from a distance and give the person space and time before I let them back in my life.  The hum started shortly after I decided to leave Llanview. But tonight it was no longer a hum but a crescendo that seemed like it blasted in my ears.  And then I saw you and the hum receded.  So I guess both of us need to listen to what our inner selves are trying to say to us.  As much as I want to fight it, I love you John.  I know that I have never loved anyone the way that I loved you.  I thought that I had gotten over you.  But I don’t want the old John McBain.  I’m willing to give the new John McBain a try though. Don’t squander this opportunity John because you most definitely won’t get another one.”

“Evangeline, rest assured I won’t need another one.  I will do all I can to make this one last forever.  As to how I will make a long distance relationship work, now that I know that you will give me a ‘try’ I will move here. Robert has always thought that I would work well in the district office and he has the connections to get me a job here.  Would that be okay with you?”

I look at him and see the hesitancy and expectation in his eyes. He thinks that I will say no but I won’t.  I want this to work. God I thank you for answering my prayer.  I never saw this as the answer but You know all and see all.  

“That sounds perfect John.  Just so you know that although I have agreed to you being in my life just remember that this was your idea.  So get ready to sit through ballet, opera, and modern dance performances.  Oh and dancing, don’t forget dancing and tennis, never forget tennis.  We can throw in a football game or two also.  Are you ready for this John?  Think hard on this before you answer.”

“Evangeline, as I said before, whatever I have to do to have you in my life I will do. Now how long will we do this before I can marry you?”

“Until I feel that you are really serious and not just trying to appease me.”

“Oh then I guess in a few weeks you will become my wife because I am very serious about this but I will wait.  I will wait at least until I get the job here and close up things in Llanview and move here.  How does that sound to you?

“That sounds like a plan John.”

“Also I need for Dr. Crosby to recommend a therapist here for me to see.  I want to continue my therapy for a little while more especially with this major change.  I don’t want anything to interfere with our new life.  May I have your telephone number so that I can keep in touch with you once I return to Llanview?”

“Sure John, give me your phone and I will put it in there for you.  Okay now that we have that settled I must leave.  I have a busy day tomorrow and it is late. Do you have a ride to your friend’s house?”

“Don’t worry about that I will take a taxi.  I will walk you to your car though to make sure that you are safe.”

“Thank you John I appreciate that.  When do you return to Llanview?”

“Next week. Do you think that we might get together before I leave?”

“I don’t know. My schedule is pretty full for the next week or so.  Tell you what I will check my calendar when I get to the office tomorrow and if I find a spot in my calendar that will allow some time for us to meet I will call you.  Will that work for you?”

“I will take whatever time you can spare Evangeline.”

We walk to her car and she enters and drives away.  I stand in the parking lot thinking about all that we discussed and decided.  I thank the Lord for this blessing.  She will give me another chance with her.  I am overjoyed.  I won’t blow it.  I will have her as my wife, I will.