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Someone I Used to Know

Chapter 8 All For Evangeline

Fortunately Mr. Baxter received the message ‘loud and clear’ because I neither saw nor heard from him again and I appreciated that greatly.  Perhaps if he had come at some other time in my life things might have been different but not now.  I know that if I want to marry that I will have to open up my heart again but not today.  I will still go out to ballet, opera and such for just as an outing.  Maybe I can find an escort service, and I do meet escort, not sex mate in the guise of an escort.  Someone to accompany me on outings like the ballet and opera, or even golfing and tennis.  I will look into that.  Someone with whom I can share time and nothing is expected of me romantically.

Sarah A. and I maintain contact and I tell Sarah about my escort plan.  She agrees but with one caveat, make certain that it is a legitimate company and get it in writing that they only escort you and nothing else and no physical or romantic entanglements are involved.  I remind Sarah that I too am an attorney and would do that without her prompting.  She reminds me that she is my friend and only looking out for me.  We agree and make plans to see each other soon.

Todd meets me for lunch at the country club and I tell him about my escort plan and he laughs so hard he almost falls out of his chair.  He asks if I’m that hard up for a date.  I tell him no I just don’t want anyone assuming that I want to be romantic with them when all I want is someone to go with me to the opera or the ballet or something.  He says that if he wasn’t married he’d take me anywhere I want to go.  What he did offer to do clinched the deal.  He would find a reputable and reliable escort service and would pay for it.  That way if I am not satisfied he has bigger clout to demand retribution.  He would write an article in his newspaper blasting the company.  That’s my Todd.  I agree and he will let me know when he finds the right company.

With that search off my plate I now concentrate once again on my practice.  Have to meet a client at the police station.  Arriving I find my client and arrange for his bail and release.  After the arraignment as I walk back for the police report someone calls my name,

“Evangeline.”

I turn around and see Antonio walking towards me.

“I see that you are fully back into the swing of things.  That’s good to see.  Do you have a minute to talk with me?”

“Only a minute Antonio.”

“Okay I will make it quick.  Come into my office.”

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“Did you meet with Agent Baxter while he was in town?”

“Yes I did why do you ask?  What do you know about him?”

“I know that he planned to pursue you.  John told me and Baxter confirmed it that day at the diner.  I told Baxter that you had been through enough and that if you rejected him that he was to leave you alone.”

“Antonio I don’t need protecting but I do thank you for looking out for me.  So John knew that Baxter was interested in me.  How did he respond to that?”

“Of course he didn’t like it and as a matter of fact after he told me that he went on medical leave and I haven’t seen him since he left.  I hope that he is all right.”

“I hope so too Antonio.  I have to go now and your minute plus is now over.  Keep this up and I will start to charge you for my time.”

“Take care of yourself Evangeline and if you need anything you can come to me.  I hope that we are still friends although I know that I have not been the best of friends to you, not as I should have, but I want to change that if you are agreeable.”

“Antonio you are right we have not been the best of friends to each other.  Just because things did not work out between your brother and me we should be able to have a genuine friendship and I look forward to that.  One can never have too many friends.”

“Good now we have settled that see you later friend.”

“You too friend.”

Another friend to add to my list, what a great thing!  Friends are like flowers in a bouquet, the more you have the prettier the bouquet.  I make it back to my office and finish up my work for the day with a renewed vigor.  My friends have come out in force for me this past week and I am very thankful.  It is good to know that someone cares about me and is looking out for my welfare.  

Finished with today’s work I stop to pick up something for dinner and head home.  Shower done and dressed in a tee shirt and shorts I settle in and enjoy my food.  After dinner I sort through my mail, pay some bills and settle on the couch to read a book.  Just as I sit I notice that I overlooked a piece of mail that fell on the floor.  Picking it up I sit again and open it.

Hello again Evangeline,

Just wanted to talk with you again.  Didn’t want to call you because I would get too flustered if I heard your voice so I decided to write again.  And before you say it, I know that you didn’t write back to me because you couldn’t.  You don’t know where I am.  We’re not allowed to put the address of the place on any correspondence and the only indication of location is the postmark on this envelope.  Don’t worry about it.

I hope that you are well.  I miss you so much.  The doctor now tells me that I can leave this place very soon.  On a scale of 1 to 10 I am now at 9.5 so that is great progress.  Let me tell you what I have been doing.

-Therapy of course every day and for hours.  Talking about everything from my childhood to the present.  Of course I talked about my dad and Caitlin both dying but I told you that before but now when I talk about them I don’t have that overwhelming feeling of guilt well up in my throat.  I now talk about the good times that I shared with them so you see it is no longer all gloom and doom with me. Plus therapy has helped me to see how unhealthy my relationship with Natalie was for the both of us.  She wanted a protector when she should have been learning to protect herself and I needed a victim when I was a victim myself.  A victim of my own making by not facing and dealing with the pain of the losses of my dad and Caitlin.  I also talked about you and my debacle of our relationship.  As I told you that day when you stopped in my office to tell me that you were falling in love with Christian.  It was all my fault that we didn’t succeed and for that I am eternally sorry.  But, and this is a big BUT, therapy has also taught me that even though we can’t change our past we can change its effect on our present and future and that is what I intend to do.

-Reading is now one of my new hobbies and in my readings I have learned a lot about, wait for it, wait for it, opera and ballet.  Yes you heard me right.  They have a good library here and I am making good use of it.  I will never sing opera or dance ballet but I can now sit at a performance of both and appreciate it.  So did you get up off the floor yet?  Ha, Ha!

-Clothing, yes I did say clothing.  When I arrived one of the attendants helped me to unpack and when they placed my clothes in the closet they asked me if I wore anything other than black.  At the time I just shrugged it off but as the weeks passed I thought about that and saw how depressing it looks when you always dress in somber colors.  I also thought about our last conversation when you said that I look like doom and gloom and that you didn’t need that around you after all that you had endured.  So guess what?  I have made a list of all the new colors of clothing that I will wear when I leave this place.  If you are available I would really like for you to go with me to pick out my new wardrobe.  I am not assuming or presuming that you will go I’m making a request.  You can decline of course but I really hope that you will consider it.

Well I think that is enough for one letter.  I do hope that you are reading this and didn’t just throw it away without at least looking at it.  Surprise probably does not adequately describe what you are feeling right now. You’re probably thinking, ‘Who are you and what have you done with John McBain?’  Well I will answer, ‘that guy was a dud Evangeline’.  Just think of him as someone you used to know.  We have both changed from who we were before, before your coma and before my intense therapy.  I want us to meet again as the new Evangeline Williamson and the new John McBain and explore our possibilities but not only that I want us to have a life together, not dating because we already did that but as man and wife.  You will ask how do we jump from the new Evangeline and John to husband and wife and I will answer that we do go out together on ‘dates’ to relearn each other but with the commitment that these dates will lead to marriage.  Before you said that marriage was one thing but love is everything.  Well I love you Evangeline and I want marriage.  Isn’t that the next logical step?  Think about it.  I will write again before I leave Shangri-la here and let you know when they will discharge me.  When I do return to town I won’t contact you right away so don’t get alarmed.  I have to find a new place to live.  The Angel Square hotel is my past and I must move to somewhere that represents my present.  I will wait to buy a house with you to represent our future and before you say that I’m getting ahead of myself just let me continue to dream.  For once I’m actually looking forward to the future and not dreading it like I once did.  When I was with you though I did look forward to the next day of seeing you again.  Imagine how great I feel now that I love you to look forward to seeing you each and every day.  Don’t dash my hopes just yet.  Give me a chance Evangeline.  I am sure that you have suitors lined up outside your door by now but I will ask you again that before you commit to someone else please give me another chance.  If you can’t find it in your heart to do that I will be sad but I will understand.  Do what is best for you Evangeline.  You deserve the best and I am trying to be the best that I can so that I can give you the best of me.  You’ve already seen the worst of me so allow me the time to show you how I have changed.

Take care of yourself my love,

John

Well knock me over with a feather.  Who knew that John could speak so eloquently and freely?  Well this gives me a lot to think about but as I said before I will not put my life on hold for him but I must admit that I am intrigued.  Well let me get to bed so I can wake refreshed and ready for another day, God willing.