“Have you heard from Bon-hwa?” Bright laughing umber eyes turned from the tv to look at her sister. 

    “Bunny? No. Why would I?” 

    “I have been thinking about him lately. It’s been so long Nova.” Her smile faltered slightly before it resumed, her eyes now back on the tv. 

    “Yeah…he’s been gone 10 years now. You remember how they left?” Her sister, Nebula, sat next to her with a quick suck of the teeth. 

    “Hell yeah I remember. It was weird how his family just packed up and left so abruptly.” Her eyes didn’t leave the television screen but her nails started picking at the skin of her cuticles. 

    “Right before they left, he told me why. He said he was going to audition to be a music star over there…in Korea.” 

    “Bon-hwa couldn’t sing. The hell?”

    “If Mother heard you talking like that you know she’d be very upset Neb.” Her older sister pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. 

    “I know mère would be furious. But she ain’t here is she?” She didn’t reply to that but her lips smiled some. 

    “Bon-hwa could sing. He just never sang around you.”

    “Well, with his mean-looking ass I ain’t wanna hear him anyway.” She bust out laughing, grabbing her stomach. 

    “You so damn rude. Bunny did not look mean.”    

    “Yes the hell he did. Talk about a resting bitch face.”

    “But he was more outgoing than I was. Bitch face or not.”

    “Hm. You was just the timidest wallflower. It made no sense.” 

    “And that’s why he was my best friend.” 

    “Hm. Well, I’m heading out. Lock up when you leave.”

    “Going to see your boyfriend?” Nebula cheesed way too hard but otherwise said nothing else, the door closing her admission. 

    Sighing, she laid her head back against the cushion of the couch. Bunny. Over the years she had her moments when she’d think about him. Remember him. Closing her eyes, she let the ache in her chest bring forth the memories she carried in her heart. 

*** 

    “Hurry up short stuff.” A tiny hand slapped him on the arm. 

    “Shut up.” Nearly wheezing, she struggled to catch her breath and he couldn’t help but grin as she panted stooped over, hands on her knees. 

    “I don’t walk that fast Nova. Stop being so damn dramatic.”

    “Boy…Tais-toi ou je te tue…” She straightened up, one last exaggerated sigh making him chuckle. Lifting a hand, he placed it on top of her head and pulled her closer, grin deepened, and licked his lips. 

    “You know I love when you speak French to me Nova. It’s hot.” Her cheeks grew as hot as the sun blazing on them and she just knew her cheeks were blooming in color, that hand pulled her head even closer towards those smirking lips of his.

    “Even though… I told you I’d kill you if you didn’t shut up? Still find that hot?” 

    “Hot as fuck.” Pushing him back from her, she pursed her lips. 

    “You got problems.” That made him chuckle and it didn’t take long for him to catch up to her. 

    “Don’t be mad princess.” He said against her ear, his arms pulling her back against him. Sighing against the crown of her head, he smiled crookedly. 

    “I like teasing you.” 

    “Well, I don’t like it. You’re being mean.”

    “But it’s so cute seeing you get so worked up.” He said, letting her throw his arms away from her. 

    “Jerk.” 

*** 

    Teeth sank into her bottom lip as she smiled and she allowed the memory to wash over her. Bon-hwa had always been like that. The masculine cadence in his voice, the confident swagger in his stride, eyes, smile. All of it had excited her. Her bunny. Quite large and tall he physically didn’t look so soft; by all means, she’d seen him shirtless a time or two to prove that. It was his eyes though. Big and innocent-looking, sometimes, they reminded her of a bunny’s. Cute. Endearing and lovable. Opening her eyes, she balled up her lips as she stared up at the ceiling. Her heart ached the more she thought about him but once she started going, it was hard to stop. 

*** 

    She’d never seen him look so flustered before. Boy was straight up stuck. Mouth open. Eyes wide. At a complete loss for words. 

    “Hello! Bon-hwa…HEY!” The snap of his sister’s fingers broke whatever trance he’d been in and his eyes shot over to hers. 

    “Don’t mess this up for her tonight okay dipshit? This is her big night.” 

    “Are you sure it’s okay for Hyung to go with her? He looks like he’s gonna throw up.” The parents all chuckled at the now blushing girl and equally as red boy as they tried to avoid eye contact.

    “Nova would not allow me to even suggest another date. He can’t back out now.” 

    “Nova, you look like a fairy. Your dress is so pretty!” His sister Ji-eun complimented, her eyes full of adoration.

    “O-oh… thanks.” The theme at the prom was the Secret Garden and she’d picked a quite luxurious blush ball gown.  Delicate and off the shoulder, the massive body resembled flowers here and there. She’d taken her braids out and her natural hair had been fashioned in a big fluffy afro, the whole of it adorned with different kinds of flowers. Indeed, she looked like a fairy about to take flight. 

    “Well, let’s get the birthday girl to her party.” Clearing his throat, he offered his arm and she gently accepted it. They both heard the snickers of their siblings as they both entered the limousine. A brief tap on the window cut up the nervous energy between them. Rolling it down, she found her father peeking in. 

    “Tonight because it’s prom and your birthday, you can stay out a little later sweetheart.”

    “How late?”

    “Make it back by 2.” She gawked at him as his eyes slid over to Bon-hwa who seemed to be finding his clutched hands interesting. 

    “Have her back at 2. I’m trusting you with her.” He lifted his gaze. 

    “Of course Mr. Washington. She’s safe with me.” The two of them stared at each other for the longest, a silent conversation ensuing before he tapped the window. 

    “Have fun baby girl.”

    “Thank you, Daddy.”

*** 

    That night was one of the best nights of her life. That night, she let her friends pull her off of the wall and into the fray of dancing bodies. She let laughter come up from her belly and let the music move her. It was a night of release. 

*** 

    “I told you not to get us a fucking room dude. What the fuck?” 

    “Listen, her pops said be home by 2. It’s currently midnight. Which means that you can finally stop eye fucking her and do it for real just in time to take her home.” She had heard them… him and his friend over there talking. Being quiet all the time had its perks. 

    “Don’t chicken out now Hwa. Besides, haven’t you heard the quiet shy ones are always the freakiest? She might like choking and shit.”

    “Fuck you. Don’t talk about her like that. Get the fuck outta my face.” Shoving the snickering jerk away from him, he cursed under his breath and slid his hair back from his face. 

    “Whatever you do Hwa, don’t nut in her.” 

    “Don’t what?” His head turned so fast she thought his neck was gonna fall off. He looked horrified at her arrival and said Cheshire cat next to him just grinned even deeper. 

    “Nov, me and my date gon get a room for a few hours.”

    “Uh-huh. And why do you have my friend over here all red-faced?” He sniggered. 

    “Look, you two figure out something to do. I paid the limo driver a lil extra to go take a ride around downtown ya feel? He’ll be back around 1:30.”

    “Wait, why are you leaving me with-”

    “Bye kids.” The kid damn near dragged his date into the elevator and it was quiet between them. This time, this whole evening it had been an uncomfortable silence. She didn’t like that. 

    “We might as well head up.” He looked like he had swallowed a tire but nevertheless trailed behind her as she went to press the up button. Shivering, she lifted her hands up to her arms. 

    “Here.” She looked up at him as he lowered his tuxedo jacket onto her shoulders. 

    “Thanks…”

    “If you were cold, you should have told me earlier.” 

    “Sorry.” Smiling, she closed the jacket and enjoyed the expensive cologne that seemed to wrap around her like a warm blanket. He kept his hands in his pockets as they walked to the room. Opening the door, the two slowly stepped into the room. A luxury suite for sure. Large sitting room. Oft to the right they could see what looked like the bed and bathroom. Ample kitchenette. 

    “How much did your friend pay for this room? Good lord.” 

    “Hell if I know. He shouldn’t have bought it.” 

    “Why not? I’m tired from all that dancing.” That made him smile and a small chuckle followed after. Finally. Some semblance of normality. 

    “I’m proud of you my little wallflower. You really put yourself out there tonight.” She blushed and turned to walk into the bedroom. 

    “You think we could take a nap?” 

    “Of all things to do you want to nap?” He probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded. 

    “If not nap then what?” He didn’t say anything, just looked at her. It was more intense tonight. Like… like he was yearning for something. Like he wanted her to figure out what it was. Licking her lips, she turned her eyes away and down, gripping her hands together. 

    “Can you unzip me please? I wanna take a shower.” He was unusually quiet but she felt and heard the zipper glide down her back. 

    “Thank you.” Rushing into the bathroom, she closed the door, pressing her back against it. Her heart was beating so fast. A warmth sat on her cheeks. She felt dampness in between her legs and thought maybe she’d peed a little. Pulling the dress off, she reached down and gasped. That was not pee. Oh God…. Lifting her fingers to glance at the translucent slime, she hastily wiped it off on the towel and started the shower. 

*** 

    It had begun way before prom night. The flirty touches, warm breath, body heat, and lips always teased her. But never before had her body reacted like that. She’d washed it away, the sweat, excitement, and exhilaration of the night away with foamy suds. Washing the makeup off of her face, she sighed, feeling clean…feeling better. If she could go back, she’d tell her younger self that it was okay….that her body was only telling her what her heart was too afraid to admit. 

*** 

    The towel against her skin felt divine, thick, and fluffy and she’d managed to take out most of the flowers from her Afro. Looking at her bare face, she licked her lips and slowly began to open the door. He was not there in the bedroom. 

    “Bunny?” She called, the cold air from the air conditioner starting to make her tremble and shake. Damn. She forgot the air was on. 

    “I do have a question for you.” Gasping, she turned towards his voice. He stood against the doorway, arms crossed. 

    “What is it?”

    “What are you going to put on?” Blinking, she hadn’t thought about it and was rather embarrassed at the fact. 

    “Um…they should have robes…um…” 

    “Mmhm.” Her mouth grew dry as he began to unbutton his shirt, nice and slow…thoughtfully. 

    “Uh….” 

    “Uh what?” He shrugged out of the shirt and tossed it there beside her dress laying on the floor. 

    “Such a pretty dress. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so dolled up before princess,” That one word seemed to start up that dampness again and she pressed her thighs together again. 

    “While you were in the shower, I’ve been trying to think of all the ways to do this right… to say it right.” She was like a deer in headlights as he came closer and closer, his pants having been thrown in the little pile of their clothes. Taking her hands into his, he intertwined their fingers and pressed them back against the wall. 

    “Bon-hwa….” Pressing his forehead against her shoulder, he breathed heavily, tightening their fingers. 

    “You’re just as beautiful without it on. You’re so perfect, princess…” She squeezed her eyes shut, knowing he was looking at her naked body. 

    “Let me go Bon-hwa….”

    “If you tell me you don’t feel the same way I will.” 

    “What?” Lifting his head, his eyes were intense and passionate and they trapped her. He took one of her hands and grabbed his very aroused member, a thick outline threatening to spill out from his boxers. 

    “You make me get like this…every fucking time.” Cheeks now red in blush, he lowered his head once more to press against her neck. 

    “I didn’t know….how to tell you. I guess I was scared. I’m scared shitless right now Nov.” She swallowed thickly and let go of his hand, only to lift her arm and wrap it around his broad shoulders. 

    “We can be scared together bunny. You make me feel the same way…” She said softly against his ear, biting her lip as he squeezed their hands tighter. 

    “I…um…I don’t feel as hard as you but…I get really wet down there.” 

    “Are you wet right now princess?” Breath heavily once more, her breath faltered in her throat as his lips kissed her shoulder… once. Again. 

    “…yes…” She admit, the weight of embarrassment losing its hold on her with each passing confession. He didn’t answer this time, his lips instead taking hers in a kiss. His hand let go of hers finally and lifted to pull her against him. Their kiss was awkward and clumsy and for a moment, the two of them couldn’t help but laugh against each other. 

    “For fuck’s sake… “

    “What are we doing bunny…” Eyes now relaxed, they smiled at her as they attempted another kiss. 

    “We’ll figure out what we’re doing together….” He said, eyes growing dark and lidded once again. Lifting her up into his arms, he began to walk them back towards the bed. 

*** 

    It was amazing. The human body. It seemed to have its own intrinsic way of moving and being when two people wanted to make love. It just seemed to know.

*** 

 Their kisses had grown slower and less rushed. It felt funny, their tongues slipping against each other but with time and practice, she was sure it would have felt like heaven. He’d laid her underneath him and for the tiniest moment, she’d forgotten everything but his hands as they caressed and squeezed her breasts and his lips as they kissed her skin. Tongue as it licked and played with her nipples. 

     Moaning softly as he kissed down the valley of her chest, she’d forgotten about it all. Interesting to say that while he kissed and quietly roamed her, her triangle tingled and throbbed, growing wetter and wetter. Just as he had lowered on all fours, ready to open her legs, remembrance slammed into her stomach and chest like a train. She’d forgotten that she’d promised God to wait. She’d promised herself. Her hands shot down to grip his shoulders and it made him pause. 

    “B-bon-hwa…w-wait…” Desire and longing had made his gaze heavy and sleepy, his pouty lips swollen from their kisses. But, he didn’t move, eyes deadlocked on hers. 

    “I’m…I’m sorry…” Lifting, he carefully laid against her, body slightly to the side. Sighing against her, she felt his lips smile. 

    “Don’t be sorry…” 

    “I…I…”

    “We should. Wait.” Embarrassment flushed her but his tiny little pecks against her cheek and nose made it go away. 

    “You don’t want to though…you wanna do it…” With him flush against her, she could feel the hardness of his member and tried everything to put push against it. 

    “It’s not about what I want Nova.” Moving her to lay on her stomach, he sighed against her again, their fingers intertwining above them. 

    “I want you to be ready. I want you to feel ready.” With that, he started to get off of her when a silky groan sounded behind her. She began to lift and hands used that momentum to pull her bottom back against him. She gasped loudly, closing her eyes tightly. God, that felt so good.  Leaning forward to arch her back, she turned her eyes up towards him. Letting his hand rest on her lower back, he inhaled deeply, eyes tearing her to shreds. 

    “This’ll be here when you decide it’s time baby girl. No rush.” 

*** 

    She hated it. Hated that he’d left her. Hated that his family didn’t think their friendship…their relationship worth a damn. He came from money but then so did she. It wasn’t like they weren’t economically compatible. She wasn’t weak, dumb, or incompetent by any means. But, none of that mattered. Somewhere down the line, to them, something about you was never going to be good enough.

    Clearing her throat, she stood from the couch and grabbed her keys.  She hated that in her mind, dreams, and fantasies he had made a permanent home and showed no signs of leaving. God forgive her… It didn’t matter how many times she touched herself thinking about him…it wasn’t enough. When would it ever be enough?