Sometimes things just don't go as planned.
I honestly didn't think I would, but I like it a lot!
Please continue, I would love a little back story, but this is great.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed
Kyle Hemsworth is your average New York teenager, until Minnie King comes to town. She is bold and full of fire that all southern belles have. She completely through him off of his game and has him doing things that others may find crazy or creepy. And all the while he chases after her, they both find out different things that just make you marvel at the bliss of wonder.
I think thats the first time I've ever read a chapter with no dialouge...was that on purpose?
You give great character description it's very spaced and leaving enough out for the reader to make their own implications whether it be height or skin tone, it's nice. Thank you!!
Thank you for you feed back! And yes I didn't add dialouge for a reason.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed
When Joss begins receiving anonymous letters, she has her suspicions as to who might be penning the ominous messages. But as the list of suspects grows, will she uncover the author’s identity or stumble upon a greater truth? *A response to the Random Letters prompt.*
I was casually re-reading this story (like I do every week) when I went to my tumblr and saw this guy
http://24.media.tumblr.com/6a7dfa3c7b03361532c4a4c38a59ae55/tumblr_mxzxf8eF8l1skjqj5o1_1280.jpg
and realized that even though you don't put much emhasis on skin, body, and physicalities for your characters (which takes some getting used compared to the norm of story wriitng to but is a great mind exercise!) this is exactly how Eshan looked in my mind! I didn't spend much time imagining Joss because Eshan was my favorite character, but oooh this is just how I imagined him looking. Even if its not what you pictured, I'm so glad you put the idea of him out there he is perhaps one of the best males I've ever read in a story and it's amazing. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fan girl moment over.
Aw, thanks Idiotendenial!!! I've recently been trying to be a little bit more detailed when describing my characters (Erik just got a makeover a few weeks ago). But I still like to go light on the physical descriptions based on my own biases. I've read stories with pictures or descriptions that I didn't find very appealing and it took away from the reading experience. So I prefer to provide the basics and let the reader fill in the blanks with whatever suits their fancy (unless there's something distinct about a particular feature).
That delicious little specimen in the picture is worth dreaming about. I have a serious weakness for Middle Eastern men, so thank you!
I'm so glad that you enjoy Eshan's character. I myself find him absolutely adorable. : ) I think he's tied with Erik for the # 1 spot on my favorite characters list.
I love that you enjoyed the story and find it worth re-reading. That is a great compliment, and I truly appreciate it and you.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed Formally Ashes, Ashes
Red flashing lights…
Heavy footsteps echoed through the deserted hallway.
Fire alarms blared...
Breaths lodged in throats as the search for survival worsened.
Pungent smell of death overwhelmed as the Z’s closed in...
Survival was futile now, running was the only escape; in this new apocalyptic post war world, living was no longer guaranteed.
Did they impregnate her? Awkward.
Reviewer: idiotendenial SignedHe's the world's most famous supermodel.
She's the church singer whose hypocritical lifestyle has been unveiled by one simple picture with him.
A story of redemption, love and family.
Did the photo for Glory change? I thought she looked different...
she does I couldn't find a picture of the girl i used in the beginning getting "done up"
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed Snippets into the lives of different characters. A foray into emotions and interactions.
Oh no! My heart hurts for Tiny! I can't wait to read more!
Thanks!
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed Something about him was off from the moment we met. Something in my mind told me this was wrong. That he was dangerous. That we weren't meant to be. But he made me feel like I was a part of something. Like it was us against the world.
Woah Jesse that is a lot take in. I'm stressed out and we're just getting started. Poor Nahla.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed This is gonna be AWESOMEEEEEEEEE
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed In the wake of an ugly divorce, Natalia executes a scheme meant to move her beyond the hurt inflicted by her ex-husband, Richard. The plan is to ease her suffering by increasing his, and her weapon, a younger man unwittingly drawn into the illicit plot.
In the quest for revenge, will Natalia realize her goal of bringing Richard to his knees? Or will vengeance and her weapon of choice become her undoing?
BooYAAAAAAAAAA I love it
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed BooYAAAAAAAAAA I love it
Thanks Idiotendenial!!!
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed As Joss and Eshan prepare to wed, will the relationship survive long enough to see "for better" when their families become their "for worse"?
Rya, a dreamer at heart is as imaginative as her mind allows her to be. She can't wait to go off into world and live a life full of adventure. Haseem yearns for a normal safe life. After leaving a troubled past, he hopes to somehow atone for his sins and start with a clean slate. Without complications.
LOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT!
:) thanks! I'm glad you approve.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed
Rumors on top of rumors, all built on a crumbling foundation of lies. Vanessa Freeman has heard a lot about Christian DeMount, but tonight she’ll know the truth. What is underneath?
I love this. It's so great. I don't even know if it needs a sequel because it's so amazing. Thank you for sharing!!!!!!
Thanks so much! It is an honor hearing this from a fellow VC author. Very humbling :)
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed She was only a debt to him... or so she thought.
She keeps mentioning how she doesn't think she's pretty, will we get a character description of her since we know how Noah looks?
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed
Sometimes the best things in life aren't real
I'm truly sad to see it end. I think is the best work you've done and I love everything you write.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed I'm truly sad to see it end. I think is the best work you've done and I love everything you write.
Thank you! Im glad I took a chance and did something different. I have over two dozen unfinished stories and my goal for the year is to finish them up so I will definitely have more for you soon!
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed How far will you go when you're lonely?
I never left my review with the intention to discourage you so if that's what I did, I personally apologize. It's your story you take it where you please, post the chapters. If this ends up being a 200 chapter story then do that. You have plenty of readers who love this story and will follow if until you can think of no more. Don't me a few readers undermine your entire creation. You've made an entire world for these characters and they deserve whatever ending you give them. In my review i have nothing altogether constructive to say because I really don't know where the story was going. Not saying it has to be to the point and short, but I've read long stories with clear and concise complexity. Literally, when I read your story I get confused. And that's entirely personal. I don't even consider it a big deal, I apologize if you do.
Anyway, I thought I would come clear things up since my review was negative. I still wont continue with the story (I should have stopped at the rape scene because I've been a victim of abuse and I don't like reading about it--again personal), but you still have my support because every writer on here deserves that. We are already a disenfranchised part of the literary world and even in our stories we've been reduced to sex symbols and skin tones and hair textures. So you keep making Jodi human and keep portraying men as insecure beings who mess up too. Not every rich man is Prince Charming and not every lonely black woman is just shy. Thank you for that and I wish you completion and the very best.
Thanks for giving me an opportunity to address your comments.
Please don't be apologetic for your review. It actually wasn't that negative. There were quite a few readers that shared your views and believe me, their wording wasn't as diplomatic as yours! :)
Your review helped to prompt my request to the readers. I have taken every one of the responses seriously and will definitely take suggestions under consideration. I have a pretty good idea of what I need to do in order to proceed without compromising the way I've written the story.
I have actually been sitting on it for years.
Please forgive me, Idiotendial, if any of the chapters somehow triggered something from your past. I have used this as a platform to deal with issues that I carry from my own abuse. Jodi's character is very difficult for me to convey to the reader. I feel her with every fiber of my being - like I said I have had to dig really deep.
I have truly tried to remain sensitive to those who have suffered from any tragic events. The world in which we live can be beautiful but it can also be very ugly...
Thanks again for your comments and please return to "Lonely" when you feel that you are up to it.
Reviewer: idiotendenial SignedI'm really not sure where this story Is going and I'm not sure if i can keep on reading; we've gotten through 44 chapters and I'm really not positive what this is actually about. That's a biased point though. Whether it continue reading or not, you've crafted an wonderfully human and adult story where people aren't perfect and mistakes are always being made. I appreciate that. It's not for me, but in that aspect you've done a great job. Jodi Is wicked and sick and Im glad he noticed, but it's taken too long for someone to want to help her. That aggravates me. I feel like your characters deserve better from themselves and the people around them. No matter where you take this story, I hope you keep writing and I hope they find what they don't even know what they're looking for.
Thanks for your review. Please take a look at the next chapter. I have written a note.
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed
Not too much, I wish there was a little more description of Jodi like height, skin tone, weight was mentioned; but I totally understand her feeling rejected and unsatisfied. I like it:)
Reviewer: idiotendenial Signed She is really beginning to annoy me.
Reviewer: idiotendenial SignedThis is in response to the Song Title Challenge. Gwendolyn is from Texas. She is visiting her cousin and best friend Marten who lives in St. Lucia, one of the Caribbean Islands. Marten's family owns a huge estate there and are one of the wealthiest families on this side of the world. His family is in the business of exporting bananas to the U.S., investments in the local resorts, and drug trade. Her first morning there she falls in love with Daken, Marten's right hand man, best friend, bodyguard, and the family's hitman. But, in a society where social status is everything and mixing of socieconomic classes is unacceptable, will these two lovers ever be able to truly be together?
I'm never excited for immaturity and that's something I can see in Gwen. It always leads to silly mistakes and a lot frustration. Unfortunately, it's a necessary must for character development and I love me some growth in a lead character. I think it's weird how they fell in love/lust so quickly, but you set it up very nicely in the first chapter and it flowed despite the suddenness of the sexual acts. I like this story a lot because you've given it a great foundation at face value. There's no searching to be done between the lines or any confusion as to who acts like what. It's realistically fiction. I love that in a tale. I really hope Gwen stays strong despite coming and present insecurities. I would like to see Daken have a few weaknesses because it's so rare in a story nowadays for the men to be the flawed or emtotionally damaged parties. I feel like with Dags mysterious pass it makes for a great way to show that men also struggle with relationship insecurities and have more feelings than simply "I man...you woman...sex...pretty.....marry" alpha type emotions. Despite the sort of naive, light feel the first two chapters have (which I love) you've set up the story in a way that can have depth, smut, romance, fluff, and some darkness without weighing the plot down. I'm excited to see your creative development!!!
I love this type of review. It helps me think of what I have written and how it comes across to readers. It helps with the future development of upcoming chapters so thank you.The love/lust so quickly I did have a little issue with it as I was writing it, but did you see Daken? HOT!! I credit the lust/love so quickly due to her immaturity and maybe not being able to distinguish the two, just knowing that she wants Daken for herself and it's a reasonable justification instead of just wanting to fuck him. I do feel there is a genuine attraction/ puppy love that has potential for growth on both their parts. As for suddeness of sexual acts, I daydream a lot. When I watch people sometimes I'll imagine sexual stuff that would happen. So, what better way to fantasize than putting those unihibited thoughts and acts you would never do in real life in a story. Thank you soo much for your review idiotendenial.
Reviewer: idiotendenial SignedDisclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
