John was breathing rapidly but silently enduring the pain. Elias quietly commends Scarface. "Thank you Tony for not killing him. We are, after all, here to help him." While walking cautiously over to John, Scarface answers, "Yeah, well, I owe her too boss." Getting as close to John as he feels is safe, Scarface sees his shot is a through and through to John's shoulder and lets Elias know, with a nod of his head, that John should be alright. Turning to walk back to his boss Scarface gently tells John, "Sorry for your loss. She was a brave, beautiful and classy lady and a good cop too." Scarface's seemingly sincere statement to John makes frown lines appear on John's face and confusion in his eyes.

With some exasperation in his voice Elias asks, "Are you ready to hear me out now John?" John glares at him but says nothing. "Well then John, I will take your silence as an encouragement to continue. I'm sure by now you know that Simmons is dead. I must commend Det. Fusco for not killing him on the spot. I would have, as I'm sure you would have too. Fusco's unfortunate exercise in self restraint however, gave me the opportunity to fulfill the debt I owed Det. Carter." John's look of confusion and curiosity has Elias feeling a little superior. He knows something important about Det. Carter that John doesn't. Before John can speak he plunges on. Elias easily steps back into his once roll of teacher and decides he will take pleasure in schooling John on some of Det. Carter's past activities.

"A couple of months ago John, during my transfer from jail to prison, I had been marked for termination by HR. I was taken out to the woods and, with a gun at the back of my head, was waiting to draw my last breath." With a small smirk dancing around the corner of John's lips he looks at Elias. Seeing the smirk Elias realizes that John knew about the hit. "I see John that the good Detective must have talked to you about my impending demise."

"Obviously she didn't listen to me because you're still alive." John rasped disgustedly.

"I do understand John why you might want me dead. However I thought with our little, collaboration, at Riker's and after your warning to everyone about Det. Carter's safety, we had moved past that slight bump in the road. Though I did, as you say, terrorize her son and issue the orders to have her removed, it appears that revenge is not in her lexicon. I am very grateful that the good Detective's moral compass does not point in the same direction as yours and mine. Since that night in the woods I've had lots of time, perhaps too much, to think about my fortuitous rescue and to think about her. What an extraordinary women! She was a kind, compassionate, fair woman and an honest cop. And judging from the scraps of what's left of HR, a damn fine Detective as well."

John didn't understand why Elias was speaking with such respect and even admiration about Joss. Bafflement and perhaps a dawning knowledge were at war in John's eyes. From the look on John's face Elias could see that John was struggling with what he was saying. So he charged ahead. "Taylor is a lucky kid John. He had a fantastic mother and even though he's in a rough spot right now I will enjoy watching him grow into the fine young man she was raising him to be."

All John heard was 'Taylor' and 'watching'. Fear gripped John and once again, with such speed that it made Elias instinctively step back, John was on his feet and advancing on Elias. "You're watching Taylor?" John's voice dropped dangerously low. His eyes spoke murder as he approached Elias. He couldn't, wouldn't let anyone hurt Taylor. "I won't let you take him from me. He's all I have left, all I have left of her." John was in full protect mode and this time he wasn't stopping.

Without really noticing him move Scarface was again standing in front of Elias pointing his Colt M1911 at John's head. Elias nodded at Tony and his first shot kicked up dust, stone and gravel as it struck the ground at John's feet. John hesitated for a few seconds before he started forward again. His hesitation was enough time for Elias to put his hands out in front of him and shout at John. "John stop!" he implored. "Listen to me. Please."

Something in Elias' voice made his steps falter and stop his advance. It amazed Elias how still John had become. Even with an injured shoulder and tears streaming down his face once again, he stood motionless. Watching John made Elias think of the calm in the eye of the storm and wonder how much time he had before the rest of the storm blew in. "Like I told you with Leila I would not hurt a child. I may be a monster just as you said John, but even monsters like us have some things we won't do. So monster to monster John, just listen to me." At Elias' last words John seemed to deflate. His shoulder was bleeding but he didn't appear to feel the pain from the gunshot wound.

"Yes John, I have been watching Taylor, but not to harm him. I've been considering setting up a trust and maybe a college fund for him. I'm sure his mother expects him to attend college. I would think a HBC or maybe Harvard or Yale. Perhaps he can study abroad; I know he would do well at Oxford. He certainly has the grades for it. I believe that every young man should study abroad and see the world when they can. I'm sure that with his upbringing and intelligence he would excel wherever he chooses to go and at whatever he chooses to do. The fact that Taylor's kidnapping seems to be no more than a minor blip in his personal and emotional life speaks volumes to what a wonderful mother Det. Carter was and what an extraordinary child he is. In that respect he is so very much his mother's son. Mark my words John. Taylor will one day be a very important and powerful man. It will be interesting watching him grow into that."

The look of incredulity on John's face makes Elias pull up short in his praises of and possible plans for Taylor's future. Elias notices John's look and apologizes. "I'm sorry John; I digress. I am, after all, here to complete my payment to Det. Carter." Though she wouldn't expect or even want anything from him, Elias still felt that helping John now would clear his debt to Det. Carter for good; after all a life for a life.

"I don't like to owe anyone John and the debt I owed o....your Det. Cater was an exceptionally large; one of a kind I dare say. As I said before, Det. Fusco's failure to eliminate Simmons gave me the opportunity to pay back Det. Carter. I told Simmons before his untimely but deserved demise that I liked Det. Carter, more and more each day." Elias smiles wistfully as he thinks of Simmons death and about his talks with the Detective while under her 'protection'. Even though he knew she didn't like him, he grew to respect her more each time he saw her. "My admiration for her really started long before that fateful night in the woods. I know John, you're curious as to why I had any interest in her outside of her interference in my business ventures. I became interested, really interested in her because of you John. You drew my focus to the Detective."

Elias telling John that his relationship with Joss was what kept her in Elias's cross hairs made him sick and his stomach roiled in sympathy with his heart. A look of horror quickly replaced by regret and sorrow fleetingly crossed John's face before they were all replaced by a blank mask. John had been so obsessed with protecting Joss from anyone who wanted to hurt her that he had pushed the fact that his relationship with Joss could harm her, behind his other growing fears. But he knew that he should have been protecting her from himself too. John had admitted to his self after being shot at the parking garage and how she had helped him then, that Joss could be hurt by their association. But at that time she was just an asset and not someone to care about other than her ability to assist with a number. Just before Taylor's kidnapping John finally admitted to himself that he had been trying to make himself believe that, that she was nothing more to him than an asset. Yet from the day when he was watching her on the court house steps and talking to her on the walkie, he couldn't put his finger on it, but the way he thought of her, felt about her had started to change.

He didn't know for sure when it had happened, it just had. Unbidden, thoughts of her would just ambush him at the most inconvenient times. So he started to follow her. Following Joss at first had been about John learning everything he could about his enemy and then it became about knowing his asset - or so he wanted to believe. After Joss was shot by her CI a deep seated fear of losing her took root inside John. He kept telling his self it was just concern about a good person, someone the world couldn't afford to lose. When his feelings for Joss got more and more complicated he tried to put distance between them - first to sort out his confusion about his feelings for her, then to protect her and also his self. John did truly believe that the world shouldn't lose Joss Carter. But with a soul deep understanding that had lodged in his bones he finally admitted to his self that his world would end if she died - if he lost Joss. It became a compulsion for John to keep her safe. And if that meant he had to cut her out of his life to do so then so be it. But every time he tried to put distance between them to protect her, he would inexorably and inescapably be drawn back to her. John gave up, and gave in - she had to be a part of his life.

By the time she had finally called him to help with HR there was no confusion left in John about what he felt for Joss Carter. John told her and showed her what she meant to him that night in the morgue while they battled HR together. His number was up but he couldn't leave Joss without letting her know that he owed her his life and had given his heart to her. As john stood in the growing cold, facing Elias and Scarface, he didn't feel the cold or the light dusting of snow as it was falling all around him. Instead he felt the smoothness of her skin as he caressed her face, how his wrist burned with her touch as she held it to steady his hand and the kiss, the tingle of the sweetness of the remnants of her Jasmine perfume, and once again the softness of her lips as he pressed his lips to hers in a long desired kiss. He had restrained their kiss because of the situation they were in at the time. That night in the morgue he could not give in to what he really wanted to do - to hold her and kiss her and never stop. No, he needed to keep his head clear; he needed to get her out of there alive. John fervently wished he had put all the passion, love and respect he felt for Joss in that one kiss, that one chance he had to let her know how much he loved her. He had lived to regret that restraint every second of every day since that night.

One night.

One chance.

One kiss.

Two deaths.

On a filthy street corner, when Joss died in John's arms, two lives ended. John had failed to keep his world safe, to keep Joss safe. With Joss' death his world had crumbled to nothing. And so had the man he was becoming. Since her death John had no clear recollection of where he had been or of what he had been doing. He wasn't eating, he wasn't sleeping, He wasn't drinking, he wasn't bathing - he wasn't living. He was just a monster waiting for the end of his existence. As John's thoughts of Joss faded he looks at Elias and decides he could be of use to him - Elias will help him end this wretched existence by putting this monster, John Reese, down.